Today, I gave my boss a ride home from work. I had my phone on hands-free mode, so all calls would come through on speaker. I got a call from the new job I was applying at, with my boss listening to each word. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was in the elevator with my new boss. He asked things like "How are you?" "How's your day going?" and "What's for dinner?" I answered everything and tried to make small talk. I then noticed that he was wearing a bluetooth and was talking to someone else. FML
Today, I gave my new boss a ride, since his car died. I probably should have checked the music before I started the car; I'm not sure hearing "Grandpa pissed his pants again…" as the opener to a song made a good impression on him. FML
Today, I was woken up from a phone call from my boss. He asked if I had been asleep. I told him I wasn't, that I was in my car on the way to work. Then my alarm went off. FML
Today, my phone auto-connected to my car’s Bluetooth as I drove my boss to a meeting. I didn’t realize my playlist had switched to dramatic telenovela theme music at full volume. She jumped, grabbed the door handle, and asked if I was “OK, like, emotionally?” FML
Today, at work, my phone rang. My intern answered it and told me it was a coworker who'd just left. I picked up and said "What's up bitch? What are you going to complain about now?!" It was actually my boss. FML
Today, my co-worker handed me the phone and said it was my boyfriend calling, so I answered "Hello, Love!" It was my boss. FML
Today, my phone rang during a meeting. I quickly silenced it, and put it in my pocket. A few minutes later, my boss’s phone rang. It was me, butt-dialing him while we were sitting in the same room. He answered and asked if I had something urgent to discuss. I did not. FML
Today, I got in a car accident on the way to work. I received an abusive phone call from my boss saying he shouldn't have to cover my lazy ass. I was driving to cover his shift because he was too drunk to show up to work. FML
Today, my dad's boss called our house and I answered. He said, "Is your dad home?" I replied, "I'll go check." I put the phone on mute and asked my dad if he wanted to talk to his boss. My dad says, "Does that asshole not have a life?" Turns out the phone wasn't on mute, it was on speaker. FML
Today, my boss offered to give me a ride on her way home. Two seconds before getting into the car, I had to let out a fart. I didn't think the fart would follow me in, but it did. She rolled down the windows, and we lapsed into a silent, awkward ride home. FML
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Top comments
MitchRapp 20
Maybe he will give you a raise now he knows you're looking else where.
iiTzNeeNerz 26
Soooo... I guess you can kiss that reference goodbye.
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Comments (27)
Memeosaurus 14
Something tells me you're gonna need that new job
muarif 19
You must have applied for it as you're unhappy with your current one! Now you won't even have to resign xD
epicx22 22
No, that means there's a possibility OP might be fired sometime soon, and there's no guarantee they'll get the new job ( as far as we now ). Might end up jobless
militarybrat 21
Getting fired is worse than leaving i think for new hires. Especially since the new hire-er knows they are still at their previous job. And yes, they would know it is right on the resume.
MitchRapp 20
Maybe he will give you a raise now he knows you're looking else where.
iiTzNeeNerz 26
Soooo... I guess you can kiss that reference goodbye.
Mathalamus 25
Does it matter? Surely your boss won't care.
MidnaLink 35
Some employers, despite it not being their business AT ALL, dislike their employees job searching while still being employed.
alainopotato 20
He will care, and don't call OP Shirley
Mathalamus 25
why?
militarybrat 21
It absolutely matters. Like i posted previously being fired looks worse than leaving. Also, 2 weeks notice gives them (the company) less time to look for someone to replace the person leaving than KNOWING they will be losing their job and they can search a lot longer.
citykid612 8
You look when you have a job, that way if OP doesn't get a call back (from future employee) then they'll still have a job.
kyzahburned542 3
lmao
booze_n_bitches 37
I don't get why people's bosses would be insulted about their staff moving on. It's a job, not a baby. You're allowed to change jobs, you don't have loyalty to your job. Your job won't mind if you leave. He'll just hire someone else, and the circle of life continues. Pahhh.
DerrickJames 33
Except job loyalty is a thing...
Shade1982 21
Also, most companies actually invest in you when they provide you with training etcetera. They wouldn't like to lose that investment if you switch within a certain amount of time.
booze_n_bitches 37
Maybe my profession is too peripatetic. I just see that it's our lives, we don't live for our work! If we want to move, then there should be no qualms. Just a nice handshake and wishing everyone the best in their next life experience!
C94Taylor 5
As I like to tell all my employees and coworkers, loyalty is nice. But at the end of the day loyalty doesn't always pay your bills.
bstarqueen 16
Oops. Good luck with the awkwardness!
booze_n_bitches 37
I do see what you mean. But I prefer to see it as: I have a skill, which I offer to loan to my employer for a fee (my salary). But I'm not a slave to my employer, it's just a mutually beneficial contract. And if I decide to move on, that's my prerogative. Perhaps other jobs/professions don't work that way. Either way, OP has got himself in a pickle! I hope his boss doesn't fire him for this mishap.
Marjo86 29
9gag ' er spotted :D