Today, I was in a restaurant with my fiancée for dinner. I commented that she had some food around her mouth. She responded with a lecture, then by throwing her hot bowl of noodles at me, before stomping out the restaurant. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went out to lunch with my girlfriend. I asked if she was going to finish her meal, hoping to steal a bite or two. She somehow took this as me calling her fat, threw her drink at me, and stormed off. I just wanted some steak. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were out to dinner. She had to use the bathroom, so she went, but the food came while she was in there. She came out, yelling at me for ordering the food to come that exact time, then she broke up with me. FML
Today, I was eating a fancy dinner with my girlfriend at a restaurant. Suddenly, my ex-girlfriend, who was seemingly still angry after our breakup 2 years ago, saw me through the window. She walked in, took my spaghetti dinner, shoved it in my face, and stormed out. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend out for lunch, and I asked her if I could have a bite of her meal. She took it to mean I was calling her fat, and stormed out. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend to a restaurant we both like. By the end of the date, we were fighting and she angrily broke up with me. To make things worse, I got food poisoning. She didn't. FML
Today, I went on a date. After we finished our meal, I had to use the bathroom really bad. When I said so, my date totally lost it and accused me of planning on climbing out a window and ditching her. "Fuck that and fuck you!" she said, then stormed out, leaving me with the bill. FML
Today, I was dining out with friends. I saw a mom instructing her young child to go to empty tables and take whatever cash had been left. I discreetly told the manager. He confronted the woman and pointed right at me. As she was being thrown out, she tossed a very heavy mug at my head. It hit me. FML
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. Being a chef of a highly-rated restaurant, I cooked a well-liked dish. Not only did she say no, but commented on how bland and tasteless the meal was. FML
Today, I stormed out of a restaurant after an argument with my boyfriend to make a dramatic exit. Instead of the front door, I marched into what turned out to be the kitchen. The entire restaurant heard me swear and then quietly shuffle back out. FML
Today, I went out on a date with a cute girl. Everything was going great, until the food arrived. She not only shoveled food into her mouth like it was going to run away, she also smacked, sucked her fingers and laughed out loud with her mouth completely full. It was like dining with a 5-year-old. FML
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Top comments
Nonibird 6
Maybe marrying someone who will throw bowls of food at you in a restaurant for anything less than a genuine verbal or physical assault is a bad idea. I mean, unless you want to be abused for the rest of your life, I mean, whatever you want.
Ashle1gh 14
She should have commented on how you had food all over you.
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Comments (159)
justysgirl 3
She was saving it for later in case she got hungry
cherryllollo 7
ahh happily ever after
dreamkayy 0
maybe she prego. those hormones are really pesky!
RileySue50 10
Now picture dealing with that for the rest of your life.
bigbadtim 7
Must be that time of the month again.
InUrArea 4
She would be my ex fiancée
josiemorehouse 12
She's either raggin' or knocked up. If not, it may be time to re-think this whole marriage thing before it's too late!!
BlackFireGeisha 4
Obviously, anytime a woman does something immature, or irrational, or snotty, or coldly she is PMSing or pregnant. OBVIOUSLY.
cz_xcr 2
I'd hate to see what she does when you miss her mouth and get a little on her lips.
DocBastard 40
Hey, I have a great idea! 1) Say something that goes against the site rules, enough to get moderated. 2) Complain about getting moderated and REALLY piss off the mods. That's the best way to get banned so we don't have to read your bullshit. If you get moderated, I suggest you move on.
Jimboom 12
Sounds like Aunt Flo is in town. I guess you will have to be paying Mrs Palmer and her 5 lovely daughters a visit if you are hoping to get any action anytime soon. Either that or make her feel really guilty by wrapping your face in bandages. Then tell her that the hot food she threw at you gave you second degree burns all over your face.