Today, I was in a restaurant with my fiancée for dinner. I commented that she had some food around her mouth. She responded with a lecture, then by throwing her hot bowl of noodles at me, before stomping out the restaurant. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went out to lunch with my girlfriend. I asked if she was going to finish her meal, hoping to steal a bite or two. She somehow took this as me calling her fat, threw her drink at me, and stormed off. I just wanted some steak. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were out to dinner. She had to use the bathroom, so she went, but the food came while she was in there. She came out, yelling at me for ordering the food to come that exact time, then she broke up with me. FML
Today, I was eating a fancy dinner with my girlfriend at a restaurant. Suddenly, my ex-girlfriend, who was seemingly still angry after our breakup 2 years ago, saw me through the window. She walked in, took my spaghetti dinner, shoved it in my face, and stormed out. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend out for lunch, and I asked her if I could have a bite of her meal. She took it to mean I was calling her fat, and stormed out. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend to a restaurant we both like. By the end of the date, we were fighting and she angrily broke up with me. To make things worse, I got food poisoning. She didn't. FML
Today, I went on a date. After we finished our meal, I had to use the bathroom really bad. When I said so, my date totally lost it and accused me of planning on climbing out a window and ditching her. "Fuck that and fuck you!" she said, then stormed out, leaving me with the bill. FML
Today, I was dining out with friends. I saw a mom instructing her young child to go to empty tables and take whatever cash had been left. I discreetly told the manager. He confronted the woman and pointed right at me. As she was being thrown out, she tossed a very heavy mug at my head. It hit me. FML
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. Being a chef of a highly-rated restaurant, I cooked a well-liked dish. Not only did she say no, but commented on how bland and tasteless the meal was. FML
Today, I stormed out of a restaurant after an argument with my boyfriend to make a dramatic exit. Instead of the front door, I marched into what turned out to be the kitchen. The entire restaurant heard me swear and then quietly shuffle back out. FML
Today, I went out on a date with a cute girl. Everything was going great, until the food arrived. She not only shoveled food into her mouth like it was going to run away, she also smacked, sucked her fingers and laughed out loud with her mouth completely full. It was like dining with a 5-year-old. FML
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Top comments
Nonibird 6
Maybe marrying someone who will throw bowls of food at you in a restaurant for anything less than a genuine verbal or physical assault is a bad idea. I mean, unless you want to be abused for the rest of your life, I mean, whatever you want.
Ashle1gh 14
She should have commented on how you had food all over you.
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Comments (159)
JustJaredfied 0
Well you better held else where cause she probably gonna kill you!
Coolbreezer 0
Maybe she's pregnant too
americiato 2
It's called PMS op!
nixophebia 5
OP if you want many more years of that, go ahead and marry her. People don't often change how they argue and respond to criticism. She'll react that way for some time to come.
annie_rc 0
Marriage heaven!
Sugah_Shane1 2
That could be a sign.....
fatalwish 6
Sounds like fiancee turned in to your ***** on the sidewalk
crazyredbug 0
She's pregnant. Unless she's always like that...if that's the case, you need to dump her crazy ass
amandamurray 2
Wow. You picked a winner.
jhpatches83 5
Maybe you should break up with her and date someone over the age of four.