Today, I went out on a date with a cute girl. Everything was going great, until the food arrived. She not only shoveled food into her mouth like it was going to run away, she also smacked, sucked her fingers and laughed out loud with her mouth completely full. It was like dining with a 5-year-old. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went on a date with an amazing girl. The date was going well, until she started eating. Although her mouth was closed the entire time, she somehow still made the loudest, most disgusting chewing noises I’ve ever heard. I felt bad about dumping her over that, but I just couldn’t continue. FML
Today, I went on a date with a fun, attractive girl. She ordered off the kid's menu, drowned her food in ketchup, and said my burger with blue cheese and bacon was disgusting. FML
Today, I went on a date with someone I really like. Midway through dinner, I felt something stuck in my teeth and, trying to be discreet, attempted to remove it. In the process, I flicked a piece of food across the table and it landed in his drink. He looked at it, then at me, then sighed. FML
Today, I was on a date when a woman across the restaurant started choking on food, so I and a few others rushed to help her. We got her to cough up the food but as I looked back to my date, she was stealing food from the plates of other people who'd left their tables to help. FML
Today, I was in a restaurant with my fiancée for dinner. I commented that she had some food around her mouth. She responded with a lecture, then by throwing her hot bowl of noodles at me, before stomping out the restaurant. FML
Today, I took a girl out to dinner. Halfway through, she sighed and asked if it was all an episode of Disaster Date. FML
Today, I went on a blind date. Everything was going great until I laughed so hard at one of his jokes that I snorted, choked on my drink, and accidentally slapped his face while trying to cover my mouth. We didn't order dessert. FML
Today, my date received food she didn’t order, and instead of eating it without complaint, she sent it back. When I got up to leave, she began to cry. FML
Today, I was on a first date and tried to playfully flick a fry at him. It missed, hit a waiter in the face, and he dropped an entire tray of drinks onto an elderly couple. My date laughed, then excused himself to the bathroom… and never came back. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend out for lunch, and I asked her if I could have a bite of her meal. She took it to mean I was calling her fat, and stormed out. FML
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Top comments
cuz803 46
LMAOOOOO Awwww. This may sound weird and I could be spewing BS, but that sounds super adorable. And funny. She may have that and a few weird sides of her (we all do, including you OP) but she can overall be a decent lady. I'd explore her a little more before you consider her unorthodox style of eating a red flag. If you and her hit it off and it works out, you'll at least know the key to her heart: FEED HER! 😍
DarkAngelsBlade 25
That's a test you probably didn't pass xD
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Comments (6)
cuz803 46
LMAOOOOO Awwww. This may sound weird and I could be spewing BS, but that sounds super adorable. And funny. She may have that and a few weird sides of her (we all do, including you OP) but she can overall be a decent lady. I'd explore her a little more before you consider her unorthodox style of eating a red flag. If you and her hit it off and it works out, you'll at least know the key to her heart: FEED HER! 😍
Annies 20
If I were in that situation, there would not be a second date, period. Excessive noise while eating is an absolute dealbreaker for me. I feel sorry for you that you had to go through that, OP.
DarkAngelsBlade 25
That's a test you probably didn't pass xD
mccuish 25
She seems like my type of girl
Tammy Gabb 5
You don't know her history her upbringing could be the root cause. Maybe she had to fight to survive so learned to get as much as possible. Give her a chance
spinspinsugar 12
my husband had a gf like that before we met. from what he told me she'd have to hover over and eat her food so fast so her siblings wouldn't take anything off her plate. as an only child (and born into an Italian family that makes enough food to feed an army), to me that's crazy.
Macon Smithwick 1
trying to be funny like the White Chicks movie
LovelyMe1222 6
Good lord. Pardon a girl for acting like a human and enjoying her time and meal. She should be ashamed for displaying such behavior. *Insert eye roll here* honestly I would find it cute. And I dont even swing that way. She deserves better.