Today, I was in a public restroom with my 4 year old daughter. I took her in the stall with me, and as I was using the restroom she looked down and loudly asked, "Mommy! Why do you have a beard on your peepee?!!" Then I heard everybody in the stalls next to us laughing. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my toddler started chirping, "Mommy’s on the toilet!" while I was in a public restroom at our local mall. She also knocked on the stall door to make sure everyone was made aware of our exact location. FML
Today, in a very crowded public restroom at a sporting arena, after looking to the man using the urinal to his right, my 6 year old son turns to address me on his left and exclaims, "Daddy, that man's wiener is a lot bigger than yours!" The whole bathroom heard and looked immediately at me. FML
Today, I had to tell my 4 year-old, "I'm wiping my butt right now, I can't get you a drink. Please wait a minute." I distinctly heard my neighbor laughing through the bathroom window. FML
Today, I used the restroom at a department store. While I was in my stall, I overheard a little girl say to her mother, "I see someone wearing pink!" I remembered that I was wearing pink just as she finished her thought, "…and she's pooping." She was peeking at me through the stall. FML
Today, I was in a department store with my three year old daughter to buy some new jeans. I took her into the dressing room with me and as I began to take off my pants she yells, "Mommy, you can't go peepee in here!!" I am no longer welcome in that particular store. FML
Today, I went to the store with my 4-year-old daughter. While I was trying to change into tight jeans, which weren't completely on, my daughter opened the curtain and yelled, "It's the Mommy Show!" Everyone there heard her and saw me. FML
Today, I was at the grocery store with my five year-old son when I had to go to the bathroom. After doing my business and we started walking out of the bathroom, my son loudly announced to the whole store, "Mommy has diarrhea!" FML
Today, my 3-year-old girl accidentally caught sight of me stepping out of the shower. Now she thinks "daddy has a tail" and she just has to let everyone know about it. FML
Today, in an incredibly busy shopping center bathroom with my 5 year-old niece, I was squatting over the toilet seat to avoid germs. My niece then says at the top of her voice, "Auntie, why are you sitting like a kangaroo?" I'd say the whole room pissed their pants laughing. FML
Today, the phone rang while I was on the toilet. I asked my 3-year-old daughter to answer it, only for her to loudly say, "Mommy's on the toilet pooping." FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
cartez2gs 3
ahahahhahaa. pwned by your child. shave your furry beaver. lol
collegegirl87 0
omg just because her child says it was a beard does not mean she has a jungle. children don't have any hair so of course they are going to be surprised. FYL and you don't need to shave
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (173)
iRichiq 3
tell ur child early and u won't have those problems...
princess711 0
that Is like the funniest thing I've ever heard :D your child is a genius!!
scooter69 0
that's so disgusting!! shave plz haha ydi
Nightstrike07 1
lol pwned, seriously how the hell do you walk around with a small rodent in your pants? shave that shit, you disgust me.
Basketbllchica14 0
haha I think I asked my Mom that when I was little
AshDramatiicsxz 2
LMAOO , u got owned by your child . Can't lie , i would have laughed at you sooo HARDDD !!! This is one of the most funniest FML on here . 241 and 1 - lmaaao , its true though .
messifan128 0
you deserve it for having a carpet down there learn to shave. no1 likes bush
ragtime88 0
LOL jk I meant 142!!!! So funny :)
ncma3 0
Haha...I only must say.... Kids do say the darndest things...
MitchellK 3
why is she in the stall watching. O.O
xNephilim 19
Because she's 4. Kids generally don't use a public restroom alone at that age. Use your brain, it's there for a reason. Anyway... To all the people saying "shave"... Shut the hell up. Do half of you even know how freaking annoying it is to shave at least three parts of your body every two days? I don't have a child yet, but I can imagine it's pretty tiring to have to take care of it every day. I wouldn't feel like shaving, either.