Today, my manager came in and said, "Hey Alice, great job closing so well last night. NOT." and walked off. When I heard the door shut, I said, "And great job being a bitch, you cow." I heard my manager walking back towards me. She wasn't the one who'd left the room. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went into my boss's office to confront her about not consulting me before switching my shifts with someone else. I left in tears. FML
Today, my boss bitched me out on the sales floor for a good 10 minutes, because I wasn't "smiling the right way" for our customers. FML
Today, my boss came around to my way of thinking. He called our customers a "bunch of assholes" and to kick them out if they gave me trouble. When a lady began yelling at me for "setting the damn prices too high" I told her to leave. My boss soon bitched me out for being unprofessional. FML
Today, I had to call a coworker to the office via the store intercom. The damn thing didn't turn off properly and everyone heard me say, "I hate that asshole. Just be where your dumb ass should be." I realized my mistake a few seconds before my manager stormed in and threatened to fire me. FML
Today, I told my supervisor how awful my coworker was at her job. I then got fired. FML
Today, my duty manager demanded we close the bar early because she wanted to go home. I was subject to abuse from customers for closing early, then shouted at by the duty manager for not being done. My actual bar manager fired me for closing early. FML
Today, my boss yelled at me for leaving on time. After months of management hounding us about our overtime, I get in trouble for doing what I was supposed to do. FML
Today, at work, my phone rang. My intern answered it and told me it was a coworker who'd just left. I picked up and said "What's up bitch? What are you going to complain about now?!" It was actually my boss. FML
Today, like every day, my coworker showed up thirty minutes late, sat down for thirty more checking email while I got the morning work done alone, listening to her bitch about how much she hates her job and wants to go home. My coworkers criticized me for being moody, and praised her for being the best. FML
Today, I was talking with my closest coworker about her boss. She told me that she yelled at her and told her, "You capricious and silly girl, you have to be more independent and brave for this job. You are a lawyer; think about your duties." She told me this as her boss came up behind us. FML
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Top comments
lyndis_fml 0
Well, she WAS being a bitch. Even if it's true, that's not something you say to an employee. She should have been more constructive with her criticism, and if she can't show respect I don't see why she should expect it from anyone else. That said, she can still fire your ass. Be careful.
LadyAlathia 0
What is this, 1983? Who even says "...NOT!" anymore? You're a poor employee, she's a bitchy cow. Unfortunately, most bosses are bitchy cows these days.
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Comments (77)
LukeDog 0
Hahaha FIRSTFIRSTFIRSTFIRST
monkeyspark 6
Well done sir! You have won the first trolling award for being a troll.
apfunction 0
you sir, are a ******* retard.
tprankd 0
... how is that trolling? Trolling doesn't mean anything anymore.
Captain0bv10us 0
is this guy retarded?
lyndis_fml 0
Well, she WAS being a bitch. Even if it's true, that's not something you say to an employee. She should have been more constructive with her criticism, and if she can't show respect I don't see why she should expect it from anyone else. That said, she can still fire your ass. Be careful.
bestnameright 14
I think it means that the comments missing are replies. So you have to view all the replies to find them.
bryan1271999 14
how can number 1 be a reply?
sam_stalker 0
and fifth as well! That is also oddly important to me... Wow I really need to get a life
bexox 0
Agreed.
eastgirl16 0
is it just me, or does anyone else feel a little happy for the first people to comment? just a little?...
DrAwesome 6
I know I do. I've only felt that feeling once in my life, and someone told me to piss off because of it. TOTALLY worth it, by the way. :D
joeyisinsane 0
anyone else jizzing? and op is a woman so get back in the kitchen
farhil 14
Its just you
ihatewankers 0
Hahaha and you're awesome.
deliapearl 0
I'm glad she heard you. If she can't take it, she shouldn't dish it out.
failsatlife23 0
lmao
LadyAlathia 0
What is this, 1983? Who even says "...NOT!" anymore? You're a poor employee, she's a bitchy cow. Unfortunately, most bosses are bitchy cows these days.
Hich17 0
"Thanks for being so unprofessional and insulting." .... Nahh, I prefer "And a great job being a bitch, you cow."
genius_man16 1
Agree w/11. I don't care how much you hate your manager, you NEVER say that shit out loud, that's just asking for her to hear it and fire your ass. YDI
GravyIsYummy 0
You deserved it. Never ever talk about a person behind their back, even if they're in the next room.
sbuxsux11 8
you're full of shit if you say you never talk about anyone...ever. hypocrite!!
zeddeiram 0
Are you ******* mad? Because the bitchy cow in question certainly deserved it!
shamille 5
Did she can you? Well anyway SHE deserved it. What kind of childish way to reprimand your employees is THAT? maybe tell you what you did wrong? oh no that would make sense!