Today, I was having phone sex with my boyfriend. Trying to be sexy, I told him what I was doing with my vibrator. I heard a loud bang, followed by him shouting, "Why don't you just fucking marry it, then?!" and then hanging up. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend insisted that we try phone sex. He started telling me all the things he wanted to do to me while breathing heavily. Unfortunately, it sounded so ridiculous, I burst out laughing. He hung up on me, and has refused to pick up since. FML
Today, my boyfriend decided it would be funny to record us having sex and me screaming his name. He set it as my ringtone without telling me. I had my phone volume on high as I was hanging out with my family. FML
Today, after having some great, intimate phone sex with my boyfriend, he immediately said, "Well, gotta go," and hung up. Thanks for making me feel like some sort of phone-hooker, dude. FML
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, my dad called my cell. He ended the phone call with, "and tell your boyfriend to shut up, I can hear him moaning." FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was all going great until he decided to try talking dirty. His idea of this was moaning loudly, "Just what the pussy ordered" as he entered me. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Attempting to make things a little more exciting, I said in my sexiest voice, "Oh yeah, harder." My boyfriend who apparently doesn't like talking dirty, pulled out and angrily said, "I was trying, what more do you want?" FML
Today, I was talking dirty with my husband over the phone while he was out of town. I started to verbally act out his fantasy and got quite into it. I was returned with silence. Embarrassed, I tried to hang up. Turns out the call had already been dropped, five minutes prior. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when he started shaking really hard. When I asked him what he was doing, he simply said, "I want to be better than your vibrator!" FML
Today, I was having phone sex with my boyfriend. About halfway through he went really quiet and started breathing heavily. I thought he was about to climax until I discovered he had fallen asleep. FML
Today, while eating dinner with my family, I found out my boyfriend recorded me screaming while having sex with him on my phone, and set it as my ring tone on high volume. FML
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Top comments
Monjara 4
Lmao he's jealous of a vibrator.
llamafish 25
I hope you used protection. Wouldn't want to get hearing AIDS ;)
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Comments (230)
sneeze_watch 19
If he masturbates, but still has a problem with you using a vibrator, tell him to have fun ******* himself from now on.
zach8771 3
You shouldn't have sex with your vibrator before marriage...
lialikesapplepie 0
Get back at him by marrying the vibrator... Wait...
ZDR 11
..well, he shud be thankful itz just a vibrator, not some others guyz wang! :p
XxWolvesBitexX 8
should* it's*
XxWolvesBitexX 8
guy's* Sorry, I forgot that one too.
Mudkipxo 0
what is he, 5?
Hamo 5
Marry it if it make you breakfast in bed, tell you that you are the most prettiest girl in the world and can be a vibrator you can rely on
YasminBleathe 0
Roflmao jealous of a vibrator haha
Shadow_Phantom 26
Sounds like he's a bit insecure; I guess now you know for future reference, and FYL.
_WhatTheFuck_ 5
What the hell was that loud bang??
SammyS2012 21
That's actually what I was wondering :/
uberhaxorjames 1
Man why would he be jellous he can **** tha pink and the vibrater can have the stink