Today, I was having phone sex with my boyfriend. Trying to be sexy, I told him what I was doing with my vibrator. I heard a loud bang, followed by him shouting, "Why don't you just fucking marry it, then?!" and then hanging up. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend insisted that we try phone sex. He started telling me all the things he wanted to do to me while breathing heavily. Unfortunately, it sounded so ridiculous, I burst out laughing. He hung up on me, and has refused to pick up since. FML
Today, my boyfriend decided it would be funny to record us having sex and me screaming his name. He set it as my ringtone without telling me. I had my phone volume on high as I was hanging out with my family. FML
Today, after having some great, intimate phone sex with my boyfriend, he immediately said, "Well, gotta go," and hung up. Thanks for making me feel like some sort of phone-hooker, dude. FML
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, my dad called my cell. He ended the phone call with, "and tell your boyfriend to shut up, I can hear him moaning." FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was all going great until he decided to try talking dirty. His idea of this was moaning loudly, "Just what the pussy ordered" as he entered me. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Attempting to make things a little more exciting, I said in my sexiest voice, "Oh yeah, harder." My boyfriend who apparently doesn't like talking dirty, pulled out and angrily said, "I was trying, what more do you want?" FML
Today, I was talking dirty with my husband over the phone while he was out of town. I started to verbally act out his fantasy and got quite into it. I was returned with silence. Embarrassed, I tried to hang up. Turns out the call had already been dropped, five minutes prior. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when he started shaking really hard. When I asked him what he was doing, he simply said, "I want to be better than your vibrator!" FML
Today, I was having phone sex with my boyfriend. About halfway through he went really quiet and started breathing heavily. I thought he was about to climax until I discovered he had fallen asleep. FML
Today, while eating dinner with my family, I found out my boyfriend recorded me screaming while having sex with him on my phone, and set it as my ring tone on high volume. FML
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Top comments
Monjara 4
Lmao he's jealous of a vibrator.
llamafish 25
I hope you used protection. Wouldn't want to get hearing AIDS ;)
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Comments (230)
tashtash2012 0
I don't see why they get so worked up about it, i mean yeah vibrators feel good but its nothing like actualy being with someone.
CBML 7
Sad very sad
ironheart98 14
completely agree with him , if you have a man why the hell do you need a vibrator
CastielJ 6
I'm 100% sure, women in general get jealous of fleshlights.
lifeforce 2
I don't get jealous of a fleshlight (or any other type of male masturbator. We all enjoy masturbating. It's life.
Lady_Bow 4
If my boyfriend ever got mad at me in such a manner, I would laugh very hard.
Spoobies 6
I laughed so hard & sent this to my boyfriend, as it's something he'd do.
mowmowlife 21
LOL, poor things, both of you. He probably felt that you were saying that it was doing a better job than he does. Sounds like he could be psycho, a little childish or worth it. If it's the last one you should make it up to him good :P
venomousddog 19
Maybe he's not jealous, he might not want to hear about that, but he shouldn't have freaked out like that, he could said he didn't want to know or something
missamree 4
My mom was trying to be more spontaneous in her relationship and ordered a vibrator off the internet, well they sent the wrong one and her husband opened it and found a 10 inch pink *****. They still fight about it, and it's been about 5 years. Men like that are ridiculous, it's supposed to spice things up. Most guys that I've had conversations with about it say they'd like to use toys because they can pleasure their girl and get a good view.
xs4u 13
haha!!! funny :D