Today, I was having phone sex with my boyfriend. Trying to be sexy, I told him what I was doing with my vibrator. I heard a loud bang, followed by him shouting, "Why don't you just fucking marry it, then?!" and then hanging up. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend insisted that we try phone sex. He started telling me all the things he wanted to do to me while breathing heavily. Unfortunately, it sounded so ridiculous, I burst out laughing. He hung up on me, and has refused to pick up since. FML
Today, my boyfriend decided it would be funny to record us having sex and me screaming his name. He set it as my ringtone without telling me. I had my phone volume on high as I was hanging out with my family. FML
Today, after having some great, intimate phone sex with my boyfriend, he immediately said, "Well, gotta go," and hung up. Thanks for making me feel like some sort of phone-hooker, dude. FML
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, my dad called my cell. He ended the phone call with, "and tell your boyfriend to shut up, I can hear him moaning." FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was all going great until he decided to try talking dirty. His idea of this was moaning loudly, "Just what the pussy ordered" as he entered me. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Attempting to make things a little more exciting, I said in my sexiest voice, "Oh yeah, harder." My boyfriend who apparently doesn't like talking dirty, pulled out and angrily said, "I was trying, what more do you want?" FML
Today, I was talking dirty with my husband over the phone while he was out of town. I started to verbally act out his fantasy and got quite into it. I was returned with silence. Embarrassed, I tried to hang up. Turns out the call had already been dropped, five minutes prior. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when he started shaking really hard. When I asked him what he was doing, he simply said, "I want to be better than your vibrator!" FML
Today, I was having phone sex with my boyfriend. About halfway through he went really quiet and started breathing heavily. I thought he was about to climax until I discovered he had fallen asleep. FML
Today, while eating dinner with my family, I found out my boyfriend recorded me screaming while having sex with him on my phone, and set it as my ring tone on high volume. FML
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Top comments
Monjara 4
Lmao he's jealous of a vibrator.
llamafish 25
I hope you used protection. Wouldn't want to get hearing AIDS ;)
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Comments (230)
carina_47 16
vibrators trump many men
Evilphatpandah 5
I dont own a vibrator, my boyfriend is more than enough!
xadoringx 29
Yikes :/
Pyrithium 8
You're boyfriend is either a comedian or a retard.
Solano2580 24
I hate guys who claim sex toys are a form of cheating, if that is so then their hands are guilty aswell
calimex2010 4
You never tell guys u have toys >.< unless they are into that. it makes some guys feel inscure about themselves.
ecstasy22 12
over possessive boyfriend. Sorry OP
BaDumTsss_fml 23
Woah. Trust issues, over a vibrator?
LyricaSilvan 30
Well...someone's a little neurotic.
radiocaf 29
A "real man" would understand that most women cannot ****** through penetration alone, and need additional, external stimulation to reach climax. It doesn't mean you are any worse of a lover in bed, in fact, it would make you better because you are caring about the satisfaction of your partner as well as yourself. You can certainly tell who the virgins/brainwashed by **** are in this comment thread. I used to believe it was easy to make a girl climax through penetrative sex... then I got a girlfriend and soon realised that was totally not the case. If your girl can reach satisfaction without an external aid, then lucky you, it's most likely that she is one of the very few (around 15%) of women who can, and as such, it's not down to your performance... Although decent performance _is_ also likely to help.