Today, I was having phone sex with my boyfriend. Trying to be sexy, I told him what I was doing with my vibrator. I heard a loud bang, followed by him shouting, "Why don't you just fucking marry it, then?!" and then hanging up. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend insisted that we try phone sex. He started telling me all the things he wanted to do to me while breathing heavily. Unfortunately, it sounded so ridiculous, I burst out laughing. He hung up on me, and has refused to pick up since. FML
Today, my boyfriend decided it would be funny to record us having sex and me screaming his name. He set it as my ringtone without telling me. I had my phone volume on high as I was hanging out with my family. FML
Today, after having some great, intimate phone sex with my boyfriend, he immediately said, "Well, gotta go," and hung up. Thanks for making me feel like some sort of phone-hooker, dude. FML
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, my dad called my cell. He ended the phone call with, "and tell your boyfriend to shut up, I can hear him moaning." FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was all going great until he decided to try talking dirty. His idea of this was moaning loudly, "Just what the pussy ordered" as he entered me. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Attempting to make things a little more exciting, I said in my sexiest voice, "Oh yeah, harder." My boyfriend who apparently doesn't like talking dirty, pulled out and angrily said, "I was trying, what more do you want?" FML
Today, I was talking dirty with my husband over the phone while he was out of town. I started to verbally act out his fantasy and got quite into it. I was returned with silence. Embarrassed, I tried to hang up. Turns out the call had already been dropped, five minutes prior. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when he started shaking really hard. When I asked him what he was doing, he simply said, "I want to be better than your vibrator!" FML
Today, I was having phone sex with my boyfriend. About halfway through he went really quiet and started breathing heavily. I thought he was about to climax until I discovered he had fallen asleep. FML
Today, while eating dinner with my family, I found out my boyfriend recorded me screaming while having sex with him on my phone, and set it as my ring tone on high volume. FML
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Top comments
Monjara 4
Lmao he's jealous of a vibrator.
llamafish 25
I hope you used protection. Wouldn't want to get hearing AIDS ;)
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Comments (230)
HyperSquirrel 8
Oh my gosh that sounds like something my ex boyfriend would have said.. Sorry op -_-
MrsAlexander83 10
Most guys do feel inferior to vibrators. Maybe it's something you guys should discuss before you bring him in in it's usage again...FYL
Indianras8761 0
Sounds like he may have a few "short" Cummings lol
mariah_1_11 22
Soooomebodyyyyyyy's jealoooous
charvisioku 22
That guy desperately needs to sort out his inferiority complex. What a lifefail.
Lord_Nord 4
Yeah I dont like to hear about what else my gf puts inside her either...
GabrielsNitemare 4
I find it funny how alot of guys get so worried about a girl using a vibrater everyone its just a toy big woop my GF uses one all the time and I love it when she does cause I know its just a toy nothing more. Just because they use one there not cheating and its easy to beat a vibrater just listen to the girl every guy here whos afraid of them probably takes complete control well then no wonder the vibrater is better then you. Listen to your GF she knows what she likes and if you do that then you will easily replace the toy
vasamisalami74 4
You should call me sometime ;)
bubo_fml 11
Sounds like he shot off too quickly!
moonpiglet 4
I'm guessing your vibrator gets more action than he does?!