Today, I was hanging out with this guy I've been trying to get for four months. I felt like I needed to go to the bathroom. I walked out, glad that I was quiet about it. Ten minutes later, my mom walks out of the same bathroom and goes "Honey, you need to spray after you make a stinky" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I thought I could stay on the phone and go to the bathroom without him noticing. My mom knocks on the door and without even thinking, I yelled "I'M ON THE TOILET!" He said "ew.." FML
Today, my coworker friend told me she was going to the restroom. Soon after, I did the same. Once in the stall, I could smell a stench emanating from the next one. I yelled, "Ew, you stinky bitch" and sprayed air freshener under the partition. As I left the stall, my friend walked into the restroom. FML
Today, I desperately needed to pee, but my mom was in the bathroom taking a shower, so I waited patiently until she finished. Just as I was about to go in, my half-naked dad rushed ahead, said "Going somewhere, son?" and shut the door on me. FML
Today, I found my dad using my bathroom. Why? Because he "had to take a crap" and didn't want to stink up his own bathroom. FML
Today, I was taking a shower. My mom thinks it's ok to just walk in on someone when they are in there so she decides to take a crap. The worst part is she thought it would be less awkward to talk to me. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were in the mood for something different. So we decided to have sex in the shower. When we were finished I heard a voice outside the door asking if we needed a towel. It was my mother. FML
Today, I really had to go to the bathroom. Due to my fear of public restrooms, I made sure it was clear before I started. I heard someone sigh halfway through. Embarrassed, I waited a full ten minutes before leaving the stall, only to see that it was only the automatic air freshener. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house, hanging out with him and his mom. I had to do a number two. A while later, we hear his mom in the washroom. She had turned on the bathtub and was flushing the toilet. A lot. Later on, my boyfriend leaves the room and she says, “Did you make that mess in the toilet?” FML
Today, I was standing outside a store about to flirt with this guy when my mother drove up and shouted, "Hurry up, I have diarrhea!" FML
Today, I was at the grocery store with my five year-old son when I had to go to the bathroom. After doing my business and we started walking out of the bathroom, my son loudly announced to the whole store, "Mommy has diarrhea!" FML
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Top comments
Alanna_Vicious 0
If it isn't one thing, it's your mother...
hpnerd 0
Mothers are genetically enhanced to embarrass their daughters. And if you see yourself with this guy seriously then he's going to know you take dumps. He'll have to live with it and you'll have to stop being so self conscious. It's natural.
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Comments (65)
gottabekidding 0
Jeez. What? Did your mother not realize there was a boy next to you? Next time, hang out at his house.
rednals 0
that has happened to me lol . horrible
humpty_dumpty_fml 0
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
suckerz 0
what # 4 and # 10 said...
Sessee 4
Lawl "make a stinky".
KeithHarris 0
#8, #9, and #17 are awesome. Holy Crap! you need to buy a t-shirt: "My Mom Twat Blocked Me" and show it to your mom. I'm sure she'll get the joke as hip as she sounds! :-D
eternalaphrodite 0
I'm with #5. Though, it really sucks to have a parent say something that embarrassing..."make a stinky"...I would have been mortified.
Jimboom 12
Could have been worse. Your mum could have said " Dammit *insert name here*, I told you to crack a window when you drop a log. Damn thing clogged up the toilet. Oh, and next time you decide to punish the porcelain like that spray some air freshener afterwards ffs!"
AkihiroHattori5 0
#1- You have no idea how right that statement is. Why is it when you become a mom you become oblivious to what you say and who you say it around?
DizzyDemon0 9
grow the hell up. who doesn't take *****? they all smell. get over it and **** him already. jesus.
fightingkittens 39
You are clearly unable to think from a woman's perspective.