Today, my 55 year-old mother faked a pregnancy because she was jealous of all the attention I've been getting since I had my twin boys. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I discovered that my best friend has been telling everyone at our workplace that I'm faking my pregnancy for attention. She was at every single one of my ultrasounds. FML
Today, my crazed and very hormonal pregnant mother told me that I should get pregnant too, so that we can be "preggo buddies." I'm 15. FML
Today, my mother is so overdramatic that her response to finding out I lost a friend's book was that I should fake my own death rather than fess up. FML
Today, my mom accused me of being pregnant. She wouldn't believe me when I told her I'm a virgin, and she challenged me to take a pregnancy test. It came back with a false positive. FML
Today, I found out my mom pretended to be me and had AIM conversations with my boyfriend. FML
Today, we found out my mother-in-law faked her terminal cancer diagnosis to guilt us into getting pregnant, so she could meet her first grand baby “before it's too late.” In no way can we afford this baby, we are already poor, so this will ruin us financially, yet she’s perfectly healthy. FML
Today, my mother got heartburn. She claimed she only gets heartburn when she is near a pregnant woman. She threatened to kick me out of the house if I didn't take a pregnancy test, despite there being no way I was pregnant. Turns out, I am pregnant, and my mother's ego has never been bigger. FML
Today, I mentioned to my mum that one of my friends is pregnant. She decided I was lying, that I'm the one who's actually pregnant, and that I'm going to get checked out by a doctor. FML
Today, my mother topped someone's story of their child's problems by saying I'm on drugs. This resulted in people showing up to stage an intervention for me. She made the whole thing up and I've never used drugs, but no one believes me. FML
Today, my mother hacked my Facebook and broke up with my boyfriend and pretended to be me. She told him if he ever talks to me again, she'll call the cops. FML
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Top comments
zingline89 18
I faked a pregnancy once too when I got jealous of my wife. For some reason she never believed me, something about me not having the "proper internal plumbing to get pregnant" or some mumbo jumbo
woainishamu 21
Well congrats on the twin boys!
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Comments (74)
woainishamu 21
Well congrats on the twin boys!
Likian5 26
Sounds like somebody wants to relive the glory days? Still, not cool of her to try to steal the spotlight. They're your kids, you deserve the attention.
kwyk 23
Did I miss something? I wasn't aware having kids was about gaining attention.
Likian5 26
Well sort of, yeah. If someone I knew just had newborn twins, I wouldn't NOT pay attention to that fact and probably say congratulations.
Likian5 26
Besides, I never said that having kids was about attention. All I said was that any attention given regarding the kids is well deserved and congratulated.
feven 32
This comment has been liked and disliked so many times that it has reached ZERO
zingline89 18
I faked a pregnancy once too when I got jealous of my wife. For some reason she never believed me, something about me not having the "proper internal plumbing to get pregnant" or some mumbo jumbo
MattieJH 12
Wives can be like that. Also spouting these hippie notions that their husbands can't get pregnant just to keep all the attention on themselves. Sigh, what a world.
Marmarfarfar 25
Someone's not ready to be a grandma
CheeseTron 15
"Grandma, nobody wants your wizard sleeve vajeen."
skyeyez9 25
I read that in Borat's voice.
LaLince 40
Your mum has some serious issues.
MrClean17 15
Some people will do anything for attention
zingline89 18
Like use a well known advertising icon as their profile pic?
MrClean17 15
It's actually a play on my last name. The profile pic, admittedly, was for my benefit. I've never met anyone upset about it though
zingline89 18
Lol people definitely took that wrong, not upset about it. I figured you had some reason for using the pic, just a failed attempt at a joke
MrClean17 15
You're the weirdest clock I've ever talked to
SMHsohard 22
Love it when people get snarky, and the try and claim "no, no, you took it wrong, I was kidding." The Internet Back Peddle should be an Olympic event.
SMHsohard 22
Crap: *then
ShadowAirplane 9
Mr.clean: He's the only clock I've ever talked to.
dinosxxrawr 22
if she were a bit younger at least her story would have been believable.
monnanon 14
it is rare but you can get pregnant at 55 and even older.
nix1993 41
Exactly, "it's rare" so not really that believable. My mom's 51 and though I know it's possible I'd never believe her if she turned round now and told me she was pregnant. It's extremely unlikely to happen by accident at that age.
SMHsohard 22
Actually, a woman in her 50s has an almost zero percent chance of getting pregnant the old fashioned way. Those ancient movie stars who have their babies when mist women are getting ready to celebrate no longer having to go down that one aisle at Walmart anymore? What they don't tell you is that they most likely used in-vitro fertilization.
monnanon 14
as long as you have not gone through the menopause then there is always a chance. yes i know its rare but it can happen and if ops mum was starved for attention chances are the low chance of it happening is what appealed to her.
nix1993 41
There's actually a chance even if you have gone through menopause, it's very rare, but possible. My mom went through early menopause (she was 34) and I was born when she was 36.
kiaora_fml 11
My husbands grandmother got pregnant at 50 naturally. She thought it was menopause, but the doctor ran some tests and said "congratulations" she gave birth to a girl that was perfectly healthy. It is rare but it does happen. But at 55 that is stretching it to say the least.
Anomel 1
"since [I] had"?
EUPHORlA 12
Mods will fix it soon.
evilraider 5
Looks like you're mother is the type of lady that would try to take steal attention from endangered pandas doing it at the zoo
flockz 20
nothing could take my attention away from pandas that are in the middle of fornicating. in fact that's specifically why i go to the zoo every other day.
Welshite 40
Unfortunately, you are the reason I go to the zoo too. When they told me to look after Flockz, I was expecting herds of sheep, not you. Following you around all day and keeping hold of your leash becomes rather tiring, but at least you are easily amused by the pandas and will sit there slack-jawed for awhile.
CrissyyyS2 22
Where's the part where you'll be recording it too, 15?
flockz 20
ew! gross! i would never record videos of panda intercourse with my iPhone's HD camera and the videos would definitely not be on my computer under a tab called "Not Panda Pr0n" and there would be no way in hell that these videos would also be on a USB in my right pocket so i could view these videos whenever i wanted. recording? you're sick.
flockz 20
and Welshite, i suppose the only thing that remains slack while i watch the pandas is my jaw. thanks for being on leash control.