Today, I was hanging out with this guy I've been trying to get for four months. I felt like I needed to go to the bathroom. I walked out, glad that I was quiet about it. Ten minutes later, my mom walks out of the same bathroom and goes "Honey, you need to spray after you make a stinky" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I thought I could stay on the phone and go to the bathroom without him noticing. My mom knocks on the door and without even thinking, I yelled "I'M ON THE TOILET!" He said "ew.." FML
Today, my coworker friend told me she was going to the restroom. Soon after, I did the same. Once in the stall, I could smell a stench emanating from the next one. I yelled, "Ew, you stinky bitch" and sprayed air freshener under the partition. As I left the stall, my friend walked into the restroom. FML
Today, I desperately needed to pee, but my mom was in the bathroom taking a shower, so I waited patiently until she finished. Just as I was about to go in, my half-naked dad rushed ahead, said "Going somewhere, son?" and shut the door on me. FML
Today, I found my dad using my bathroom. Why? Because he "had to take a crap" and didn't want to stink up his own bathroom. FML
Today, I was taking a shower. My mom thinks it's ok to just walk in on someone when they are in there so she decides to take a crap. The worst part is she thought it would be less awkward to talk to me. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were in the mood for something different. So we decided to have sex in the shower. When we were finished I heard a voice outside the door asking if we needed a towel. It was my mother. FML
Today, I really had to go to the bathroom. Due to my fear of public restrooms, I made sure it was clear before I started. I heard someone sigh halfway through. Embarrassed, I waited a full ten minutes before leaving the stall, only to see that it was only the automatic air freshener. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house, hanging out with him and his mom. I had to do a number two. A while later, we hear his mom in the washroom. She had turned on the bathtub and was flushing the toilet. A lot. Later on, my boyfriend leaves the room and she says, “Did you make that mess in the toilet?” FML
Today, I was standing outside a store about to flirt with this guy when my mother drove up and shouted, "Hurry up, I have diarrhea!" FML
Today, I was at the grocery store with my five year-old son when I had to go to the bathroom. After doing my business and we started walking out of the bathroom, my son loudly announced to the whole store, "Mommy has diarrhea!" FML
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Top comments
Alanna_Vicious 0
If it isn't one thing, it's your mother...
hpnerd 0
Mothers are genetically enhanced to embarrass their daughters. And if you see yourself with this guy seriously then he's going to know you take dumps. He'll have to live with it and you'll have to stop being so self conscious. It's natural.
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Comments (65)
eyefork 0
Maybe he's into girls that take major *****, you never know!
pleasetryagain 0
THANK YOU, #22. If he doesn't want you after knowing that you have normal human functions then he's an idiot, and you're not much better for thinking that it matters.
notmuch 0
Now he knows you're human. Oh no! Your life is screwed!
kurukururock 0
Oh, cry about it! If he likes you enough, he can live with the fact that, 1. you're human, and 2. moms say babyfied things.
maddog_fml 0
Hahaha!! She really said that? Haha! LOL @#23
TMX666 1
Man that's embarrassing.. But I wouldn't worry about it, if the guy respects you and cares about you he wouldn't make a big deal out of it like "What women poo and fart?" If he reacts like this he's obviously retarded as it is a natural process and he's not worth your time. Personally, if I was the guy I would be laughing at what the mother said and reassure the girl if she was embarrassed about it not to worry about it, then again I'm not shallow.
Sakkii 0
That same thing would probably happen to me. My mom even yells at me when I'm just taking a piss... I do spray after I do anything though.
bellwether 0
YDI for not spraying after making a stinky.
pearls 0
that's silly, everyone goes to the toilet. you should've sprayed though, if you know your mum gets angry about that type of thing :)
schadenfreudeFTW 0
that's really not a big deal!