Today, I was hanging out with this guy I've been trying to get for four months. I felt like I needed to go to the bathroom. I walked out, glad that I was quiet about it. Ten minutes later, my mom walks out of the same bathroom and goes "Honey, you need to spray after you make a stinky" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I thought I could stay on the phone and go to the bathroom without him noticing. My mom knocks on the door and without even thinking, I yelled "I'M ON THE TOILET!" He said "ew.." FML
Today, my coworker friend told me she was going to the restroom. Soon after, I did the same. Once in the stall, I could smell a stench emanating from the next one. I yelled, "Ew, you stinky bitch" and sprayed air freshener under the partition. As I left the stall, my friend walked into the restroom. FML
Today, I desperately needed to pee, but my mom was in the bathroom taking a shower, so I waited patiently until she finished. Just as I was about to go in, my half-naked dad rushed ahead, said "Going somewhere, son?" and shut the door on me. FML
Today, I found my dad using my bathroom. Why? Because he "had to take a crap" and didn't want to stink up his own bathroom. FML
Today, I was taking a shower. My mom thinks it's ok to just walk in on someone when they are in there so she decides to take a crap. The worst part is she thought it would be less awkward to talk to me. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were in the mood for something different. So we decided to have sex in the shower. When we were finished I heard a voice outside the door asking if we needed a towel. It was my mother. FML
Today, I really had to go to the bathroom. Due to my fear of public restrooms, I made sure it was clear before I started. I heard someone sigh halfway through. Embarrassed, I waited a full ten minutes before leaving the stall, only to see that it was only the automatic air freshener. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house, hanging out with him and his mom. I had to do a number two. A while later, we hear his mom in the washroom. She had turned on the bathtub and was flushing the toilet. A lot. Later on, my boyfriend leaves the room and she says, “Did you make that mess in the toilet?” FML
Today, I was standing outside a store about to flirt with this guy when my mother drove up and shouted, "Hurry up, I have diarrhea!" FML
Today, I was at the grocery store with my five year-old son when I had to go to the bathroom. After doing my business and we started walking out of the bathroom, my son loudly announced to the whole store, "Mommy has diarrhea!" FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Alanna_Vicious 0
If it isn't one thing, it's your mother...
hpnerd 0
Mothers are genetically enhanced to embarrass their daughters. And if you see yourself with this guy seriously then he's going to know you take dumps. He'll have to live with it and you'll have to stop being so self conscious. It's natural.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (65)
rootbeerfanatic 6
i guess now you'll remember to spray next time..
lolololcheese 0
twaaaatbloooooock.
suckstobeyou3 0
lmao @20! XDD wow, moms are really pros in the embarrassing their kids field. when i was like 13, i was in my room with my best friend and my mom walks in and says, "honey, tomorrow we need to stop at a store and buy you some underwear and deodorant." i wanted to shoot her. but, i guess you kinda have to deal with it. if i were you, id have a nice chat with your mom.
Epic_Fail_Sauce 0
Did you punch her in the throat? If not, do so ;)
Elamdri 0
A "Stinky"? WTF are you, seven?
RK5000 0
Would it have killed her to keep her mouth shut? FML makes me love my parents more.
humpty_dumpty_fml 0
everyone knows chicks don't make stinkys >< chicks don't eat, they pretend to and spit it out when you're not looking they feed on sunlight and moonlight, and wtv kind of light is on they don't piss they water the world with golden rain
BrannFYR 0
who cares? I guess something like this is a big deal if your 14...
MnkySpz 0
Damn what a bitch LOL
missus_butter 0
Your mom is sabotaging you. She wants the guy you like.