Today, I was hanging out with this guy I've been trying to get for four months. I felt like I needed to go to the bathroom. I walked out, glad that I was quiet about it. Ten minutes later, my mom walks out of the same bathroom and goes "Honey, you need to spray after you make a stinky" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I thought I could stay on the phone and go to the bathroom without him noticing. My mom knocks on the door and without even thinking, I yelled "I'M ON THE TOILET!" He said "ew.." FML
Today, my coworker friend told me she was going to the restroom. Soon after, I did the same. Once in the stall, I could smell a stench emanating from the next one. I yelled, "Ew, you stinky bitch" and sprayed air freshener under the partition. As I left the stall, my friend walked into the restroom. FML
Today, I desperately needed to pee, but my mom was in the bathroom taking a shower, so I waited patiently until she finished. Just as I was about to go in, my half-naked dad rushed ahead, said "Going somewhere, son?" and shut the door on me. FML
Today, I found my dad using my bathroom. Why? Because he "had to take a crap" and didn't want to stink up his own bathroom. FML
Today, I was taking a shower. My mom thinks it's ok to just walk in on someone when they are in there so she decides to take a crap. The worst part is she thought it would be less awkward to talk to me. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were in the mood for something different. So we decided to have sex in the shower. When we were finished I heard a voice outside the door asking if we needed a towel. It was my mother. FML
Today, I really had to go to the bathroom. Due to my fear of public restrooms, I made sure it was clear before I started. I heard someone sigh halfway through. Embarrassed, I waited a full ten minutes before leaving the stall, only to see that it was only the automatic air freshener. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house, hanging out with him and his mom. I had to do a number two. A while later, we hear his mom in the washroom. She had turned on the bathtub and was flushing the toilet. A lot. Later on, my boyfriend leaves the room and she says, “Did you make that mess in the toilet?” FML
Today, I was standing outside a store about to flirt with this guy when my mother drove up and shouted, "Hurry up, I have diarrhea!" FML
Today, I was at the grocery store with my five year-old son when I had to go to the bathroom. After doing my business and we started walking out of the bathroom, my son loudly announced to the whole store, "Mommy has diarrhea!" FML
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Top comments
Alanna_Vicious 0
If it isn't one thing, it's your mother...
hpnerd 0
Mothers are genetically enhanced to embarrass their daughters. And if you see yourself with this guy seriously then he's going to know you take dumps. He'll have to live with it and you'll have to stop being so self conscious. It's natural.
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Comments (65)
qwertyuiop8989 0
Funniest FML I've read in a long time. good job
madame_malfoy 4
on the bright side, atleast he didn't enter the bathroom after you instead of your mom
playerhata 0
use some spray next time dumbass! how lucky for you to have a bathroom stocked with it, and you take it for granted! hurumph!
Dhamy 0
I would have been like "Thanks Mom! ;D" And got over it. #35 made me lol.
greenearth 0
i think i would have been ending my mother's life if she ever said that..even if a guy wasn't around xD
Synthetic 0
Your mom sounds like a bitch. She HAD to know that would embarrass you, that would embarrass anyone. I wouldnt invite any more guys around your mom if I was you.
jumpgurl23 0
hahaha When i was first talking to my Bf my roommate told him not to EVER go into the bathroom after me, it was embaressing but it defiantely made things easier and i was way more comfortable in front of him lol
_FACKMYLIFE_ 0
LMFAO i actually laughed!! Mothers embarass their daughters. It's life. Get over it.
kellster 2
Lol. Well, I guess you should have sprayed! What if your friend had asked to use your bathroom right after? Then he would have not only heard about your stinky, but smelled it for himself!
Funtertaining11 0
Point. Always spray. Hope everything went well.