Today, I was going on a date with my girlfriend. When I took her home, her sister came to the door. I used to date her sister and I didn't know they were related. My girlfriend realized this, then kicked me in the crotch. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I brought my new girlfriend home. My overprotective sister got into her face and started the whole, "if you hurt him, I’ll kick your ass" speech. My girlfriend responded by whooping my sister’s ass up and down our driveway. It took both me and my mom to pull her off. FML
Today, I was kicked in the crotch. The girl who did it thought I was her ex-boyfriend. I'm a girl. FML
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house, and she was tickling me. It got a bit rough, and she fell out of bed and hit the floor. Her parents, thinking we'd been fighting, burst into the room to see her holding her bloody nose. She didn't say anything while her dad kicked my ass. FML
Today, my girlfriend ran off with my sister. FML
Today, I was meeting my boyfriend's family for the first time. The minute I stepped in the door his mother hit me in the face and kicked me out because I was "the slut her husband cheated on her with." My older sister and I look much alike. Too much alike. FML
Today, I found out my that my girlfriend's parents hate me, all because they saw me laughing and hanging out with another girl. That other girl was my sister. FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend of two years broke up with me because she wants to "become" a lesbian. I also learned that she's coming to my house for dinner tonight. My sister is her date. FML
Today, I was on a date with this girl. I attempted to put my arm around her, but I elbowed her in the face instead. FML
Today, my fiancé came home drunk with some girl. Then he told her that I was his sister. FML
Today, I was watching a movie alone with my girlfriend. She shifted positions as I put my arm around her, and ended up kneeing me in the crotch and shouldering me in the throat simultaneously. FML
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Top comments
ccathleen_ 0
You have a bitchy girlfriend.
flyintonite 0
This happened to me... but with best friends instead. Advice to all men if you are going to date a woman KNOW her inner circle inside and out. All her friends names who their friends with etc, a little excessive but trust me it saves a lot of headaches.
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Comments (94)
sportsnut 0
BULLSHIT you didn't know they were related...would you have not been just a little suspicious when you pulled into he driveway to pick her up? waiiit...you're retarded, i guess its ok you didnt connect the dots on this one
driedpeaches 0
put that bitch in jail for assault
DeathShad0 1
Own her sorry ass in court. I would love to see her thrown in jail and used as an example for future references.
dspadres 0
There really are only three outcomes to this situation: 1. She doesn't care and you keep dating. (Bullshit she won't care!) 2. You get kicked in the balls and end up single. 3. Threesome! You should have chosen 3. I am disappoint.
IMHAVINFUN 0
I don't think he had a choice, hahahahahaha this fml actually made me laugh!!!!!
soffikkira 0
lmao xD
some_girl9 8
Sorry to break this to you, boys, but if he took her to court, he'd get bent over a table. She could just say he attacked her first, or came onto her too strongly, and that it is was self-defense. The only witness is her sister who happens to be his ex. Aww, poor guy...NOT. Kiss my ass! HAHA!
Ascaryrobot 0
And here you are advocating lying in court and assaulting men, way to go equality. If butch lesbians like yourself hate men so much, why do they try to look so much like them? The short hair, the leather and muscles.
lem0n_fml 0
Oh yes, no one should ever take anyone to court, because the other person can just lie their way out of it. What a great outlook on the legal system. And I agree, I can't ******* stand "feminists" who claim they want equality, yet believe it's okay for a woman to hit a man. That's not goddamn equality.
Ascaryrobot 0
Either tough it up and prepare for a true Falcon Pawnch or step down bitch, how about I get 8 buddies (not all male), we come an rape you, alot, then if you try to press charges we'll all say you were all for it and wanted an orgy but had a falling out with one of us and this is your idea of revenge. Surely it is the perfect plan. 9 of us and only one of you. Who will the courts believe?
musicislife1995_fml 0
oh noooo
Reyo 2
Since when does "Accidentally dating someone who is related to your ex" = automatic kick in the crotch? In fact, since when did everything = automatic kick in the crotch? Why is it always the crotch that's the first to get kicked?
quinnteh 0
Yes, that's what's gonna happen, but that doesn't mean he deserves it. Bitch.
LEPOfficer 0
Lol I like how the guy is so stupid for not realizing that his current girlfriend was his ex's sister. Shouldn't his girlfriend have known? What a lovely, connected, and aware family the girls have....
LEPOfficer 0
Oh dear, double post... I'm such a noob. :(