Today, I was going down on my girlfriend when I noticed a hickey near her hip. I said, "wow, last night was crazy, I don't even remember doing that!". Without even interrupting the action, she simply said, "You didn't". FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was going down on my girlfriend when I noticed a hickey near her hip. I said, "Wow, last night was crazy, I don't even remember doing that!" Without even interrupting the action, she simply said, "You didn't." FML
Today, I saw my girlfriend for the first time in weeks. She had a hickey. FML
Today, I gave my girlfriend a hickey barely an inch from her vagina. She texted me later, saying her dad saw it and had grounded her. So yeah, I'm not sure I even want to know what the hell goes on in their house. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. Things got heated and I yelled, "Who's your daddy?" With a blank expression she replied, "I don't know." FML
Today, my boyfriend gave me a hickey. On my forehead. FML
Today, my boyfriend came over with a hickey on his neck. He thinks "The vacuum did it" is a believable excuse. FML
Today, I put the vacuum cleaner hose against my neck to give me a hickey, so that it would look like I got some action. FML
Today, my friends decided it would be funny to give me a "hickey" with a vacuum cleaner while I was passed out drunk. Not only do I have to try and explain this to my girlfriend, but we're meeting her parents for lunch this afternoon. FML
Today, I was making love to my fiancée, when she dug her nails into my back and told me to "choke" her like I did last night. I was at work last night. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated, and he started to go down on me. In excitement, I accidentally drove a knee into his face. No amount of fondling his diddlestick made him forgive me for his bloody nose and swollen eye. FML
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Top comments
songstress4life 0
Wow... she didn't even kinda feel remorseful. Sorry, dude!
Shadowflames420 0
she still your girlfriend? wtf is wrong with you! dump her!
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Comments (115)
Jaywin 3
I wanna know how this ended. A girl once tried to tell me her hickeys were "burns". I wonder if your girl tried to play it off as something like that.
amirn86 0
I 2nd #11 - give us updates dude, I know you're on FML enough to do that lol
anon12_fml 0
are you sure it wasn't just a bruise?
alwex 0
you shoulda whipped it out right there and stuck it in her ass
Tucatz 0
Take a deep breath, fasten your lips around her pussy and blow her up like a balloon.
Joo_bean16 0
Ew, what a frickin' *****. I'm so mad.
Asphyxiated_ 0
Maybe they're not in an exclusive relationship. And if they are, well, FYL.
CPTobvious_fml 0
and you put your mouth there.... So then the next question is.... how did he taste in your mouth.... ha.... stop dating skanks... and get yourself tested
SaturnE_fml 0
You don't give hickey's with yer dick... At least I don't, do you? Holy shit, have I been short-changed? TWICE ON THE SAME ITEM! DAMN YOU GENETICS/UNIVERSE/GREATER BEING!! DAMN YOU TO WHEREEVER IS UNPLEASANT FOR YOU TO BE!
crazymedic06 2
you're missing a point. first you lick it then you stick it. don't know any man who just does down on a girl and doesn't get any. the hickey came before the spluge that the op lapped up.
Lobster_fml 0
She's a hoe.
gumcuzzler 0
ALEX?!???!?!