Today, I was going down on my girlfriend when I noticed a hickey near her hip. I said, "wow, last night was crazy, I don't even remember doing that!". Without even interrupting the action, she simply said, "You didn't". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was going down on my girlfriend when I noticed a hickey near her hip. I said, "Wow, last night was crazy, I don't even remember doing that!" Without even interrupting the action, she simply said, "You didn't." FML
Today, I saw my girlfriend for the first time in weeks. She had a hickey. FML
Today, I gave my girlfriend a hickey barely an inch from her vagina. She texted me later, saying her dad saw it and had grounded her. So yeah, I'm not sure I even want to know what the hell goes on in their house. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. Things got heated and I yelled, "Who's your daddy?" With a blank expression she replied, "I don't know." FML
Today, my boyfriend gave me a hickey. On my forehead. FML
Today, my boyfriend came over with a hickey on his neck. He thinks "The vacuum did it" is a believable excuse. FML
Today, I put the vacuum cleaner hose against my neck to give me a hickey, so that it would look like I got some action. FML
Today, my friends decided it would be funny to give me a "hickey" with a vacuum cleaner while I was passed out drunk. Not only do I have to try and explain this to my girlfriend, but we're meeting her parents for lunch this afternoon. FML
Today, I was making love to my fiancée, when she dug her nails into my back and told me to "choke" her like I did last night. I was at work last night. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated, and he started to go down on me. In excitement, I accidentally drove a knee into his face. No amount of fondling his diddlestick made him forgive me for his bloody nose and swollen eye. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
songstress4life 0
Wow... she didn't even kinda feel remorseful. Sorry, dude!
Shadowflames420 0
she still your girlfriend? wtf is wrong with you! dump her!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (115)
swannygirl 0
Ouch!
Anonymus101 4
Dump her, the cheating bitch doesn't deserve you.
Jordn_fml 0
Wow.... thats so rude... What a bitch
KTteaspoon 0
What a ****. her, not you. go #56
lololol_fml 0
#58 HAHAHAHA I like your style And #44, wtf, She's obviously a cheating *****.
Vehicle 1
Okay if it was a hickey, WHY are you still with her? But, it could just be a bruise... Hopefully the second!
Marysenjo 0
i agree with #45 1) who'd give you a hickey on your hip??? 2) if i had a bruise on my hip (which i have a lot, since i'm clumsy and bump into stuff all the time) and my bf was going down on me and just said: oh i can't remember doing that, i wouldn't think about cheating. i'd think he meant giving me a bruise and'd react the same way she did so my bf'd proceed doing what he was doing before. DONT dump her. it's most probably a bruise.
effevery1slife 0
haha... did u continue eating her out?
vvtumblesbee 0
agree with #45. her nonchalance seems to indicate that she took it as "oh wow i don't remember bruising you there." if "last night" really was that crazy, it wouldn't be surprising if she (and/or he) were a little scraped up. i don't think "you didn't" is such an unreasonable response in that situation.
SensFan22 0
You just got an STD and got cheated on! Your life sucks man. FYL