Today, I gave my girlfriend a hickey barely an inch from her vagina. She texted me later, saying her dad saw it and had grounded her. So yeah, I'm not sure I even want to know what the hell goes on in their house. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I saw my girlfriend for the first time in weeks. She had a hickey. FML
Today, I was going down on my girlfriend when I noticed a hickey near her hip. I said, "wow, last night was crazy, I don't even remember doing that!". Without even interrupting the action, she simply said, "You didn't". FML
Today, I was going down on my girlfriend when I noticed a hickey near her hip. I said, "Wow, last night was crazy, I don't even remember doing that!" Without even interrupting the action, she simply said, "You didn't." FML
Today, my boyfriend gave me a hickey. On my forehead. FML
Today, my friends decided it would be funny to give me a "hickey" with a vacuum cleaner while I was passed out drunk. Not only do I have to try and explain this to my girlfriend, but we're meeting her parents for lunch this afternoon. FML
Today, out of boredom, I decided to dye my hair. I clumsily spilled some of the purple dye on my chest and shoulders. My insane mother is convinced the marks are hickeys I got from sneaking out and having sex with a boyfriend I don’t even have. She won’t listen, and I’m grounded for a month. FML
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house, and she was tickling me. It got a bit rough, and she fell out of bed and hit the floor. Her parents, thinking we'd been fighting, burst into the room to see her holding her bloody nose. She didn't say anything while her dad kicked my ass. FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend started a fake argument and pretended to be mad at me for four days, which was almost enough time for the gigantic hickey that my best friend gave her on her neck to heal. FML
Today, my mom noticed the hickey that I have on my neck. Embarrassed, I tried convincing her that I burnt myself using a hair straightener. She then told me that that's the same excuse she told my grandma when she got a hickey. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend I was unsure of the future of our relationship, so he gave me a gigantic hickey to "show the world that I'm his." I work as a cashier and see people I know personally on a daily basis. FML
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Top comments
KabamWolf 22
I incest you go see what happend
Destinee_1 13
As a girl, I'm saying there is a high chance she is bull ******** that.
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Comments (191)
TweetAnne 13
Maybe she went commando and he unintentionally saw it.
Cads1 24
More like she needed an excuse not to see OP so she could bang his best friend. Otherwise I have no other explanation for that FML!
8Dirty1 24
agree with #22
lovelockdown23 23
Lol the location says it all
girI 20
To be fair though, some cultures do walk around the house naked. A German family I know do so, with kids and everything, and it surprises them how negative the reactions of people are.
immunetoinsanity 23
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Unintentionally saw an inch from her ******? He'd have to be looking at her crotch to see that.
Cads1 24
Well done Sherlock, case solved without Watson.
BigC_from_Bama 16
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Hey, that ain't fair. Just cause there in Bama don't mean anything. We don't riot down here so there's that...
cristy91 33
Some people are just more open. My boyfriend's family grew up walking around and it was no big deal. My family doesn't walk around naked but we often change with doors open and will go around the house in underwear. It may be a cultural thing though because we're Cuban? Either way, OP, I say it's plausible. You can ask her if it bothers you, though.
Draconus324 4
I'm with 37 Might be a household nudist
ShannonBitt 29
Even if it's normal for them to walk around the house scantily clad, wouldn't she think to put shorts on if she had a hickey next to her ******? Unless she didn't notice it herself, which I doubt.
Bavelly 11
You don't look very Cuban.
cristy91 33
@172 Cubans come in all shades the same way Americans come in all shades. Please don't confuse race with nationality.
WOTAN1488 24
Maybe it is some kind of excuse. Perhaps, y'know, ask her.
saucyrossi 18
my ex told me her mom saw the hickey on her ass and grounded her I never gave her one on her ass
The_Avatar 22
Now there's an FML within an FML
zahidnasir 22
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
YDI
thehellisthis 12
104 your pic fits that comment perfectly
mjbev405 19
I think we know why she's your ex now
Rocket___Candy 24
Maybe she was in a very revealing swimsuit....? I have no idea OP but that's extremely awkward
ColonelCusswords 24
thats gotta be one realy ******* revealing swimsuit
cari_cat 19
Even with a revealing swimsuit what was she doing when she was wearing it for the hickey to become visible?! Must be an excuse but why?
jeepers_1 21
By "******" op probably means it was on her inner thigh.
KabamWolf 22
I incest you go see what happend
ScarredVox92 16
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I insist that everyone like this comment. ^
Firecubitch 5
does sound sexpicious to me too.
gm1beanzz 14
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Oh brother
xXBlakDayXx 17
Someone already said rhat
snowflake2410 3
No not her brother, her father. ;)
NakedandAfraid 14
This is the most ups I have ever seen on an fml comment.
ColonelCusswords 24
Ive seen some crazy shit but this caught me right the **** off gaurd...
Chevy_guy 12
good luck looking her dad in the eye next time you see him...
Destinee_1 13
As a girl, I'm saying there is a high chance she is bull ******** that.
Stxsyh 30
Exactly what I wanted to say.
Liamj774 36
As a human, I'm saying there's a high chance she's bullshiting that
Hoopachi 19
I mean… it is Alabama so… you never know
wheelchairchick 11
I hope she is
BigC_from_Bama 16
OH **** ITS ALABAMA EVRRYONE GO STRAIGHT TO MAKING JOKES. See how much sense that makes? Probably a lot to you...
littlekellilee 45
Hey, have a Snickers.
MrConcise 35
#95 - Quit viciously defending Alabama, stereotypes are funny as long as there isn't any hatred. FML, typically, is a friendly place where we can all joke without breeding hostility. Cool your beans, bruh.
tigerisabelle 31
Calm, #95. Breathe like we practiced.
jdtractor2012 11
chill #95. remember the breathing exercises you had to teach your sister when she was pregnant with your kid.
logan00_fml 15
Go **** yourself
MrMoofinMan 19
But why? I don't understand WHY she would bullshit about that. What possible reason is there to bullshit about that.
noonenoeone 22
Maybe she didn't want anymore hickeys? Or op might not be great at what he's doing and she needed and excuse.
MrConcise 35
#157 - "My dad hates you because he knows we're sexually active. Behave yourself around my family so he'll like you."
BigC_from_Bama 16
I will defend mother bama till I die! COME ON YOU BASTARDS BURY ME DEEP I CAN TAKE IT! BURY ME 6, 8, 9 FEET IT DONT MATTER!
japtap81 16
The sex was bad
tralulilulalala 20
As a girl I'm wondering what sort of childish mentality can you have to say such a lie (if she's really saying bs)
jayemerald17 25
Incest. Just incest
mistertbawk420 10
People still give hickeys? Regardless, that's pretty ****** up OP. Maybe you should just stay away from them altogether
meli1195 31
why would people have stopped giving hickeys
vampemu 16
@34 because people grow up.
MisterEx 28
There is a big difference between the behavior of a grown up, and the behavior of someone with a stick up their behind, dear.
ptoka 20
A hickey can be unintentionally given in the heat of the moment.. A girl kissing your neck, or slightly biting you from pleasure. Maybe he got too involved when going down on her and it felt like a thing to do because it turned her on more.. But, maybe that's just me.
Kikiers21042 18
I actually like the feeling that causes the hickey, I just make sure my guy does it in non revealing places. Not because I'm underage or anything but because I don't want people seeing them they know for damn sure what happened there lol
wheelchairchick 11
So the whole world has to hate them because you do?
1dvos_grl3 21
Who the **** cares? It's a hickey.