Today, I was going down on my girlfriend when I noticed a hickey near her hip. I said, "wow, last night was crazy, I don't even remember doing that!". Without even interrupting the action, she simply said, "You didn't". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was going down on my girlfriend when I noticed a hickey near her hip. I said, "Wow, last night was crazy, I don't even remember doing that!" Without even interrupting the action, she simply said, "You didn't." FML
Today, I saw my girlfriend for the first time in weeks. She had a hickey. FML
Today, I gave my girlfriend a hickey barely an inch from her vagina. She texted me later, saying her dad saw it and had grounded her. So yeah, I'm not sure I even want to know what the hell goes on in their house. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. Things got heated and I yelled, "Who's your daddy?" With a blank expression she replied, "I don't know." FML
Today, my boyfriend gave me a hickey. On my forehead. FML
Today, my boyfriend came over with a hickey on his neck. He thinks "The vacuum did it" is a believable excuse. FML
Today, I put the vacuum cleaner hose against my neck to give me a hickey, so that it would look like I got some action. FML
Today, my friends decided it would be funny to give me a "hickey" with a vacuum cleaner while I was passed out drunk. Not only do I have to try and explain this to my girlfriend, but we're meeting her parents for lunch this afternoon. FML
Today, I was making love to my fiancée, when she dug her nails into my back and told me to "choke" her like I did last night. I was at work last night. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated, and he started to go down on me. In excitement, I accidentally drove a knee into his face. No amount of fondling his diddlestick made him forgive me for his bloody nose and swollen eye. FML
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Top comments
songstress4life 0
Wow... she didn't even kinda feel remorseful. Sorry, dude!
Shadowflames420 0
she still your girlfriend? wtf is wrong with you! dump her!
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Comments (115)
audiogasmic 0
I hope you punched her in the vag. Cheating *****.
takeyb0y2 0
It's just a hickey...
esagalyn 0
I'm willing to bet it wasn't a hickey. It was probably just a bruise - I get them on my hips all the time from bumping into tables. I really don't think she would have been that mean... besides, who gets hickeys on their hips?
Silhouette_fml 0
At least she's honest...
maedoc 0
i do hope you had the sense to falcon punch her
Jigsy 0
Could be a bruise? Either that or she could be really flexible?
bdogg 0
Probably razorburn or something. This is totally misleading and stupid.
voice_of_reason 0
"Without even interrupting the action?" You were the one doing something, no? So you're saying *you* didn't stop? #6 - LOL
kinkysexx 0
27 - who the **** shaves their hips?
sagittaurus 0
haha. 29.