Today, I was going down on my girlfriend when I noticed a hickey near her hip. I said, "wow, last night was crazy, I don't even remember doing that!". Without even interrupting the action, she simply said, "You didn't". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was going down on my girlfriend when I noticed a hickey near her hip. I said, "Wow, last night was crazy, I don't even remember doing that!" Without even interrupting the action, she simply said, "You didn't." FML
Today, I saw my girlfriend for the first time in weeks. She had a hickey. FML
Today, I gave my girlfriend a hickey barely an inch from her vagina. She texted me later, saying her dad saw it and had grounded her. So yeah, I'm not sure I even want to know what the hell goes on in their house. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. Things got heated and I yelled, "Who's your daddy?" With a blank expression she replied, "I don't know." FML
Today, my boyfriend gave me a hickey. On my forehead. FML
Today, my boyfriend came over with a hickey on his neck. He thinks "The vacuum did it" is a believable excuse. FML
Today, I put the vacuum cleaner hose against my neck to give me a hickey, so that it would look like I got some action. FML
Today, my friends decided it would be funny to give me a "hickey" with a vacuum cleaner while I was passed out drunk. Not only do I have to try and explain this to my girlfriend, but we're meeting her parents for lunch this afternoon. FML
Today, I was making love to my fiancée, when she dug her nails into my back and told me to "choke" her like I did last night. I was at work last night. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated, and he started to go down on me. In excitement, I accidentally drove a knee into his face. No amount of fondling his diddlestick made him forgive me for his bloody nose and swollen eye. FML
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Top comments
songstress4life 0
Wow... she didn't even kinda feel remorseful. Sorry, dude!
Shadowflames420 0
she still your girlfriend? wtf is wrong with you! dump her!
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Comments (115)
effit 0
I hope you stopped going down on her and dumped her ass.
effit 0
Awww # 45, what you talking about, a good hickey is always enjoyable... especially when they're suckin like crazy (anywhere but the neck of course).
Phillay632 0
Well, it sucks to be you... no pun intended.
soozin 0
agree with most people, I think its a bruise, it doesnt make sense how she would express so openly about cheating esp WHILE you guys are having sex.
BamxBitch 0
That's ****** up. I hope you dumped that bitch.
jsmith1199 4
#3 and #24.. so ******* what if she was honest.. shes still a stupid *****. #17.. who cares if they were exclusive or not? if they werent exclusive and she was multiple guys do that, then shes a *****. if they were exclusive and she was having multiple guys do that, shes a *****. #44.. you must also be a cheating **** ANY WAY YOU LOOK AT IT SHE IS A DUMB BITCH WHO MUST BE TAUGHT A LESSON I vote take a bat to her face. But that's just me.
theoldGP 0
haha wtf. she should have just lied and said yeah you did. UNLESSSSS like omg here comes the breaking point: maybe it wasnt a hickey.. maybe it was a rash or something haha idk. and thats why she quickly said you didnt do it.... cause you never even mentioned (to her at least) that it was a hickey WHY IS EVERYONE CALLING HER A *****? you can't judge based on the info given in the story
bchristina5 0
you didn't punch her in the twat for that shit??
WellThatSuckz 14
^^^ EXACTLY!!!
braFTW 0
Are you absolutely sure that the mark wasn't from something else?.. I know that her answer was weird but it still doesn't prove anything, unless she said otherwise and you didn't mention it.