Today, I was going down on my girlfriend when I noticed a hickey near her hip. I said, "wow, last night was crazy, I don't even remember doing that!". Without even interrupting the action, she simply said, "You didn't". FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was going down on my girlfriend when I noticed a hickey near her hip. I said, "Wow, last night was crazy, I don't even remember doing that!" Without even interrupting the action, she simply said, "You didn't." FML
Today, I saw my girlfriend for the first time in weeks. She had a hickey. FML
Today, I gave my girlfriend a hickey barely an inch from her vagina. She texted me later, saying her dad saw it and had grounded her. So yeah, I'm not sure I even want to know what the hell goes on in their house. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. Things got heated and I yelled, "Who's your daddy?" With a blank expression she replied, "I don't know." FML
Today, my boyfriend gave me a hickey. On my forehead. FML
Today, my boyfriend came over with a hickey on his neck. He thinks "The vacuum did it" is a believable excuse. FML
Today, I put the vacuum cleaner hose against my neck to give me a hickey, so that it would look like I got some action. FML
Today, my friends decided it would be funny to give me a "hickey" with a vacuum cleaner while I was passed out drunk. Not only do I have to try and explain this to my girlfriend, but we're meeting her parents for lunch this afternoon. FML
Today, I was making love to my fiancée, when she dug her nails into my back and told me to "choke" her like I did last night. I was at work last night. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated, and he started to go down on me. In excitement, I accidentally drove a knee into his face. No amount of fondling his diddlestick made him forgive me for his bloody nose and swollen eye. FML
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Top comments
songstress4life 0
Wow... she didn't even kinda feel remorseful. Sorry, dude!
Shadowflames420 0
she still your girlfriend? wtf is wrong with you! dump her!
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Comments (115)
songstress4life 0
Wow... she didn't even kinda feel remorseful. Sorry, dude!
maddieguinn 0
dump her¡！¿,«»§₩）（；°９８
XxCherryxX 0
Bananas in Pajamas FTW!!
Shadowflames420 0
she still your girlfriend? wtf is wrong with you! dump her!
breeY0 7
keep her pants and throw that ass out !
T9FTW 20
Did you continue to go down?
ellebell 0
umm...at least she was honest
Miller_Time 0
What a bitch!
whattheeff 0
I hope you stopped right after she said that and dumped her..
maedoc 0
you sure she knew you thought she was your gf? seems like she didnt see you as a very serious thing man
piderman13 0
WOOWW that blows....apparently she enjoys going around doing that too... i would have stood up and walked out...unless its your house then just pick her up and carry her out and set her outside the way she is and lock the door hahahahhaha
roll_fukng_tide 0
I confess....It was me
boner 0
Mr Peanut Butter and Rover had a blast last night... Where were you numb nuts?
PlasticShark 0
guttered !