Today, I was going down on my girlfriend when I noticed a hickey near her hip. I said, "wow, last night was crazy, I don't even remember doing that!". Without even interrupting the action, she simply said, "You didn't". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was going down on my girlfriend when I noticed a hickey near her hip. I said, "Wow, last night was crazy, I don't even remember doing that!" Without even interrupting the action, she simply said, "You didn't." FML
Today, I saw my girlfriend for the first time in weeks. She had a hickey. FML
Today, I gave my girlfriend a hickey barely an inch from her vagina. She texted me later, saying her dad saw it and had grounded her. So yeah, I'm not sure I even want to know what the hell goes on in their house. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. Things got heated and I yelled, "Who's your daddy?" With a blank expression she replied, "I don't know." FML
Today, my boyfriend gave me a hickey. On my forehead. FML
Today, my boyfriend came over with a hickey on his neck. He thinks "The vacuum did it" is a believable excuse. FML
Today, I put the vacuum cleaner hose against my neck to give me a hickey, so that it would look like I got some action. FML
Today, my friends decided it would be funny to give me a "hickey" with a vacuum cleaner while I was passed out drunk. Not only do I have to try and explain this to my girlfriend, but we're meeting her parents for lunch this afternoon. FML
Today, I was making love to my fiancée, when she dug her nails into my back and told me to "choke" her like I did last night. I was at work last night. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated, and he started to go down on me. In excitement, I accidentally drove a knee into his face. No amount of fondling his diddlestick made him forgive me for his bloody nose and swollen eye. FML
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Top comments
songstress4life 0
Wow... she didn't even kinda feel remorseful. Sorry, dude!
Shadowflames420 0
she still your girlfriend? wtf is wrong with you! dump her!
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Comments (115)
redsoxmisfits 0
#22, just a hickey?! It's never JUST a hickey and even if that's how you see it...it was near her hip! Obviously something else is going on. Dude you better have ditched her, that's just wrong.
jennam_fml 4
#36&39, curling iron burns happen alot, if you set it on your lap and it rolls (its happened before) its easy to get a burn without realizing until afterwards. I've done it with straighteners too. It could also easily be a bruise, I've slammed my hips into tables and chairs and get a nasty bruise.
genius_man16 1
#33 is right. if it was something as innocent as a burn she would have said so. sorry m8, hope you dumped the ho
lucie_fml 0
Well, you know what - that's life. AND its ******* funny, at that. Atleast you've got an honest girl. Personally, I wouldn't dump a guy if he was that straight up with me. She's NOT a hoe.
skizza_fml 3
So a girl who cheats on her boyfriend and shows no remorse afterwards is not a hoe? I bet you're the type of girl that would do that, too, seeing as you're defending this cheating *****
greatnt249 0
Who the hell gives someone a hickey on their hip? It was probably just a bruise, dude; it explains the nonchalant response. "If it wasn't a hickey then why would she say what she did?" The OP never said, "Wow, I don't remember giving you a hickey on your hip"; he said "I don't remember doing that." If she took it to mean "giving her that bruise," then her response is pretty reasonable. Vague, but reasonable. On a side note, if you're still giving hickeys OP, you might want to brush up on your skills with women.
podrummer9209 0
bitch = 45, what's wrong with hickeys? Some guys, myself included, like being dominant from time to time, and seeing marks on your partner, knowing you put them there, is a really great feeling.
birds_fml 7
Sometimes I get an itchy spot, and scratch it so much and so hard that it looks just like a hickey. And if you were going down on her, why would she take the time to explain what it was, when you didn't even say you thought it was a hickey, when she's trying to get off? "You didn't" is a quick, curt response to get you to stop talking and get back to business.
hiyaa 0
lol 47 don't be dumb, and if a bitch was conveying 'get the **** back down there' then it's still pretty messed up. #45 explains the misunderstanding that the OP (and the rest of us) had, it makes sense and fits into the immediate response and casual tone
pinion_fml 0
45 said it all
elina_fml 0
>>A burn from a curling iron can look like a hickey, unfortunately. I know from experience. Ouch!