Today, I was giving my boyfriend a handjob for the first time. It took ages for him to get excited, and in the end the only thing that blew up was him, saying, "Oh my god, just stop it already." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I gave my boyfriend a handjob for the first time. Apparently, I was so bad at it that he eventually just slapped my hand away and angrily said he'd do it himself. FML
Today, was the first time giving head to my boyfriend. He couldn't finish, so I tried a handjob. In the end he kind of pushed my hand away so he could finish himself off. FML
Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. I went slowly to build up the excitement, and I thought it was working really well, until he sighed, "For fuck's sake, it's a dick, not a shotgun." and told me to stop embarrassing him. FML
Today, my boyfriend was pleasuring me with his hands. After two years of being together, he was finally about to make me orgasm for the first time by himself. Just as I was reaching my peak, he orgasmed at the thought of finishing me off and stopped. FML
Today, I was on a movie date with my boyfriend, when he asked for a handjob. I thought I was doing well until he sighed, took my hand off, and said he could finish on his own. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Two minutes in, he goes, "Wow, this is strenuous" and stopped. I waited three years for this. FML
Today, I finally felt ready to give my boyfriend a blowjob. Barely 20 seconds in, he said: "I'll be honest, this is TERRIBLE." FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, I had my first orgasm. He thought something was wrong, so he stopped. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate. It was his first time, which I guess explains him sticking his hand down my panties and practically bitch-slapping my vagina for the next 20 or 30 seconds. I stupidly faked an orgasm just to get him to stop. Now he thinks he's some kind of sex god. FML
Today, as I was about to orgasm while my boyfriend was giving me oral sex, I tightened my grip on his hair and began shouting his name. He stopped, looked up at me, and said, "What?" FML
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Top comments
alex1432 9
Well try using more than just your hands??
lilbeast0327 3
wow u must really suck
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Comments (343)
josh8215 21
I've had this happen to me. it was so awkward.
mrahhhhh 21
Ask him for advice next time so you know what to "concentrate" on.
corrinaswan 0
lmao u must really suck or he's hard to impress
tylerpienta 6
actually he wasnt hard at all
smartguy13v 2
^^ Win.
eftup 9
ydi for not giving him head instead!
bigmike09 4
what u needa do from a guys point of view is toy with it him make him want it more than he knows be coy at first the get even more raunchier than he expects
HyundaiOwner7 0
Yeah because the same thing works for every guy... NOT
spazmattic 0
guys are pretty easy... if the basics don't work, something is off.
pinkspaceboundro 0
well, atleast you won't have to do that again! ;)
jakezanerd 0
is that a good thing or a bad thing
GDIalex 11
Ooooh these optimists!
pinkspaceboundro 0
Bahaha.
jadenstigman 0
atleast he's honest
KarmaMike 0
sounds like he could use some weed
charliecharmande_fml 0
he needs to lay off that masterbaiting then. give it a rest then for a well then maybe he'll get some excitement.
maattyy 1
lulz "masterbaiting"
TylersMB 0
thats amazing. an epic fail, but good attempt.