Today, I was giving my boyfriend a handjob for the first time. It took ages for him to get excited, and in the end the only thing that blew up was him, saying, "Oh my god, just stop it already." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I gave my boyfriend a handjob for the first time. Apparently, I was so bad at it that he eventually just slapped my hand away and angrily said he'd do it himself. FML
Today, was the first time giving head to my boyfriend. He couldn't finish, so I tried a handjob. In the end he kind of pushed my hand away so he could finish himself off. FML
Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. I went slowly to build up the excitement, and I thought it was working really well, until he sighed, "For fuck's sake, it's a dick, not a shotgun." and told me to stop embarrassing him. FML
Today, my boyfriend was pleasuring me with his hands. After two years of being together, he was finally about to make me orgasm for the first time by himself. Just as I was reaching my peak, he orgasmed at the thought of finishing me off and stopped. FML
Today, I was on a movie date with my boyfriend, when he asked for a handjob. I thought I was doing well until he sighed, took my hand off, and said he could finish on his own. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Two minutes in, he goes, "Wow, this is strenuous" and stopped. I waited three years for this. FML
Today, I finally felt ready to give my boyfriend a blowjob. Barely 20 seconds in, he said: "I'll be honest, this is TERRIBLE." FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, I had my first orgasm. He thought something was wrong, so he stopped. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate. It was his first time, which I guess explains him sticking his hand down my panties and practically bitch-slapping my vagina for the next 20 or 30 seconds. I stupidly faked an orgasm just to get him to stop. Now he thinks he's some kind of sex god. FML
Today, as I was about to orgasm while my boyfriend was giving me oral sex, I tightened my grip on his hair and began shouting his name. He stopped, looked up at me, and said, "What?" FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
alex1432 9
Well try using more than just your hands??
lilbeast0327 3
wow u must really suck
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (343)
SirWrangler 5
At least you tried...sorry OP:)
lilyisfly 0
what Does OP mean?
hazardoussmiles9 22
Otter Pronunciations
xCookieCrazedx 1
It just means shes talking to the person who originally wrote the FML
MurphyS94 4
Lol... don't sweat it, pretty much everyone sucks the first time.
Rdawgg 0
pun intended lol
jannie22 0
not all the time XD
valleyshooter 8
if it's not all the time your doing it wrong.
LinTurk 4
That really sucks.. and apparently you don't..
SluggerJ 7
lol #17
mmsdrummer51 3
practice makes perfect... ******** move on his part though
fthku 13
Funny how in an FML the exact same, only the roles were reversed, everyone yelled at the guy that he sucks, needs to please his woman better, and was mass "YDI'd". I just can't stand hypocrisy. OP, some people are just not natural sex-gods, but that doesn't mean they can't improve. If your boyfriend did not like what you were doing, but he kept silent and let you do it, it's *his* fault. You're supposed to communicate. If you communicate, trust me, the sex is much better. Why stay silent if you don't like it? you need to give positive criticism, because that's how relationships work- communication.
Jjustin 0
jeez put some tongue into it
speedgay 0
Nobody likes handjobs; if he wants a handy he will do it himself; add a little excitement to his life and do something more errotic next time....if there is a next time, because you obviously suck at sexual favors.
suprmidgt 0
agreed. unless you are pulling out if lube and going for it. otherwise you are doing the one thing he can already do himself and you are wondering why you can't live up to his ability. you're being silly.
regsworld11 2
maybe you should practice a little longer sweetie! sucks that happened to you though! better luck next time!(:
CherryBombb 0
Wow. That's rude. He should've told you what you were doing wrong instead of making you feel bad like that. Sorry OP : /
evistman 12
wouldn't that make her feel bad FYI hand jobs suck we can do it our self no bj or sex don't bother
proudcookie11 0
open your mouth babe...cant go wrong there
rogerover 19
Just no teeth PLEASE
DomesticAngel 14
Ouch, sorry OP ;) You tried though!!