Today, I was given a powerful laxative to clear me out. I can't go to the bathroom because the four guests of my sleeping roommate are all sitting in dead silence against the paper-thin bathroom wall. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was admitted to the hospital for chronic constipation. I have to share a room with two other girls who are also having bowel problems. We're all on strong laxatives, and there's apparently only one bathroom in this place. FML
Today, all of my roommates were home. I really had to poop all day but the bathroom was being hogged. Once I finally got the chance to go, I guess the toilet didn't flush all the way and I didn't notice. The other roommates loudly asked each other who it was, and they all started loudly taking about me. FML
Today, I'm sharing a hotel room with co-workers on a business trip. The walls are paper-thin, you could hear a pin drop, and I'm trying to make my explosive diarrhea as close to silent as possible. FML
Today, my apartment management notified me that my water was going to be shut off all day so they could fix the plumbing. I took a laxative last night. FML
Today, I had to take a laxative for the first time. Instead of working gently overnight like it promised, I woke up at 3 a.m. to an unrelenting river of shit that made my legs numb on the toilet. FML
Today, I was constipated and so desperate to go that I ate an entire box of laxatives. Now I'm in the hospital on a saline drip for dehydration and malnutrition, in addition to getting a massive enema and having the most agonizing shit of my life. FML
Today, I was at home with slight constipation, so I took two laxatives. That's when my boyfriend called me, saying his parents are in town and want to have dinner tonight, this being the first time I've met them. I've already been on the toilet five times. FML
Today, thinking he was being so hilarious, my friend slipped me enough laxatives to make a horse shit its intestines out. I haven't been able to move from the toilet for over an hour. FML
Today, my entire family, myself included, has been turned into a collective diarrhea fountain after going out to eat. We only have one bathroom. FML
Today, there was a potluck at my girlfriend's house. I had a sour stomach, so I went to the bathroom to relieve myself. When I flushed, nothing happened. They had to call a plumber to fix the toilet filled with my crap. The whole family watched, noses plugged and faces cringed, looking at me. FML
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Top comments
Selphis 20
Just go... they'll stop listening soon enough ;-)
greenfishbait 19
You have to do what you have to do!
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Comments (72)
jeepers_1 21
You're not gonna have a choice so I would go now before it gets real embarrassing, or ***** gonna hit the fan!
miguel_garcia22 6
It your house who cares what they think just let it fly
Hawaii84 16
Screw them and go. Is not good to hold it and they deserve what is coming to them for being nosy.
petergozinya37 8
It's your place you could do your duty anywhere you want!
dilley86 4
So why can't you go to the bathroom?
nanner42 13
Go anyways. Then they'll leave cause of the nasty stench :)
therobfather3 5
Do it loud and proud, my friend!
RedPillSucks 33
If you were given a powerful laxative, you're not going to have much choice in the matter. One way or another, you're going to take a shit, so you might as well do it in the bathroom. Imagine what they'll have to say if you shit in the living room right in front of them. (queue scene from "Bridesmaids")
inolongercare 19
Turn on some Music OP
SwtCherryPie 26
OMG you are the only person that has every had to poop a possibly noisy and nasty poop. Grow up.
TVKill3r 15
Why don't you grow up? For some people it's harder to go to the bathroom with people around.