Today, I was at home with slight constipation, so I took two laxatives. That's when my boyfriend called me, saying his parents are in town and want to have dinner tonight, this being the first time I've met them. I've already been on the toilet five times. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to my girlfriend's parents' house for lunch. I ended up in the bathroom constipated and remembered reading it's easier to "go" if you are squatting. My girlfriend's dad walked in on me perched on the toilet like an owl. FML
Today, I went to meet my boyfriend's parents for the first time. While I was at their house I got a tummy ache, then had loud explosive diarrhea. Twice. They definitely heard it all. FML
Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time over dinner. I had to use the bathroom part way through, and ended up taking the foulest dump of my life. I cracked open a window on my way out, but my boyfriend's dad went in soon after, quickly retching and booming, "What the fuck?!" FML
Today, I took my boyfriend to meet my parents. As he was loading his truck, I went inside to take a surreptitious shit. I ended up clogging the toilet, and so the first thing my mom said to my boyfriend was, "You'll have to find another bathroom; she just clogged it all up." FML
Today, I went with my boyfriend to meet his parents. I had to excuse myself to use the bathroom, and I ended up taking a huge crap that wouldn't flush. I had to reach in and break it up with my hands just so it would flush. Only after I washed up did I notice a plunger sitting under the sink. FML
Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. I had bad stomach cramps so I asked if I could use the bathroom. After half an hour, I flushed the toilet, it backs up and floods the bathroom. To make things worse, when I opened the door, I slipped on the wet tiles. FML
Today, my boyfriend of 6 months asked me to spend the night at his apartment for the first time. I had to poop really bad when I got there, so I used his only bathroom. He went after me, and came out a few seconds later, gagging. Apparently, I clogged his toilet. FML
Today, after suffering from constipation for three days, I finally took a dump. Just as things reached the point of no return, my land line and doorbell all rang. FML
Today, I went over to my girlfriend's house to meet her entire family for the first time. Trying not to be rude, I ate their 12-bean and chorizo soup. Now I'm stuck in the bathroom trying to unclog the toilet with no plunger. FML
Today, while at my boyfriend's house, my stomach began to hurt really badly, so I excused myself to take a shit. I let it all out. Later on, his dad went to the bathroom and yelled, "Goddamn son, what the hell did you do in here?!" FML
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Top comments
eyehurts 0
sucks fyl but next time only take one?
SweetieLish 0
Yeah, if it was just "slight" constipation, why take 2? Just take one and see how it goes.
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Comments (66)
eyehurts 0
sucks fyl but next time only take one?
writergirl69 0
just say you're sick
drkwlf 0
Don't go then.
Insecurfail 0
2nd XD oh, and FYL
allmidnighteyes 11
You can serve them chocolate pudding for dessert... Back on topic - it's not hard to explain to them that you're not feeling too well. Not a FML for the dinner, but a FML for the unstoppable mudbutt.
meeeep 0
tell him your sick so maybe tomorrow night or next week
Insecurfail 0
sorry I'm 3rd so don't get all pissy
Bloodknight 22
Think positive, you can do it!
alexandraa_fml 0
You mean DOO it.
MK1029 0
Why would a girl take laxatives? Girls don't poop...
StaticDown 0
I don't know what is it with guys but girls do poop, why do you think we have an orifice just like you? It's there for a reason... I bet you any girl on here can support my statement. You might find it gross but it's the sick sad truth, you better get used to it if you plan on having a gf!
HaveNoShame 3
If you don't believe that girls poop from their anuses, you'll be most amazed to learn where they bleed from...
thane321 0
@#9: you havn't seen 2 girls 1 cup then... @#56: arterys, veins, and capillerys.
dacho 7
Hm I wooooondeeer why you're constipated. YDI.
Witchcraft_fml 5
I think I'd rather be sitting on the toilet with the drippins' than meeting the parents, anyway. EDIT: This was a reply to Perdix.
alexandraa_fml 0
Maybe you'll have an explosive time? yuckayuckayucka