Today, I was admitted to the hospital for chronic constipation. I have to share a room with two other girls who are also having bowel problems. We're all on strong laxatives, and there's apparently only one bathroom in this place. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was given a powerful laxative to clear me out. I can't go to the bathroom because the four guests of my sleeping roommate are all sitting in dead silence against the paper-thin bathroom wall. FML
Today, I was constipated and so desperate to go that I ate an entire box of laxatives. Now I'm in the hospital on a saline drip for dehydration and malnutrition, in addition to getting a massive enema and having the most agonizing shit of my life. FML
Today, I was extremely constipated. This is a side effect of the medication I take to alleviate my stomach condition. Due to this same condition I can't eat much roughage. We have no laxatives or stool softeners, and I have been shitting bricks for three days. FML
Today, I was at home with slight constipation, so I took two laxatives. That's when my boyfriend called me, saying his parents are in town and want to have dinner tonight, this being the first time I've met them. I've already been on the toilet five times. FML
Today, my entire family, myself included, has been turned into a collective diarrhea fountain after going out to eat. We only have one bathroom. FML
Today, I'm a week into a prescription of extremely constipating antibiotics. I also just caught the stomach bug going around at work that causes aggressive diarrhea. The two combined mean I have a constant, slow-moving stream of thick, foul-smelling sludge coming out of me. FML
Today, I had horrible pains in my stomach area so I went to the doctors. They couldn't find anything wrong and sent me to the Emergency Room for X-rays. After spending the entire day in the hospital, they tell me I'm slightly constipated. I had to pay $400 to find out I had to take a shit. FML
Today, I'm recovering from colon surgery. They gave me codeine as pain relief, which has made me constipated. I'm currently sat on the toilet, trying to push out what feels like a small child wrapped in barbed wire out without busting my stitches. FML
Today, all of my roommates were home. I really had to poop all day but the bathroom was being hogged. Once I finally got the chance to go, I guess the toilet didn't flush all the way and I didn't notice. The other roommates loudly asked each other who it was, and they all started loudly taking about me. FML
Today, I finally got over a long bout of constipation. I was scared to ask my mom for laxatives because I had the feeling she would tell all her friends, but on the 6th day of absolutely no bowel movements, I caved. I later overheard my mom telling all her friends. FML
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Top comments
asimplesharpie 7
Incoming shitstorm.
SammyS2012 21
It's the Hunger Games: Hospital Edition.
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Comments (100)
asimplesharpie 7
Incoming shitstorm.
Haduken 16
one gets the toilet, one gets the tub, and one gets the sink
wlddog 14
38 Way to resolve the shit out of that problem.
DracoSpirita 21
38 - Bridesmaids reference. Awesome.
jackiemora 18
Well they are in a ******** situation.
therealafroninga 10
59-Are you ******** me. Your comment stunk.
wvcheesehead1 9
Sounds like that hospital has their ***** together.,
Gmoney12 18
I smell a game of battleshits coming on!
MrConcise 35
Shitty situation, three girls one bathroom, laxative puns, did I cover them all?
Lizardgirl 7
I smell a new shitcom.. xD (And let the downvotes commence)
Lizardgirl 7
Well that was unexpected... xD
Catkam623 27
How do we know its a girl? By the name I assumed it was a guy and he had to wait outside while they shat everywhere
magentaballoon15 8
"two OTHER girls"
SammyS2012 21
It's the Hunger Games: Hospital Edition.
yeti37 16
There is no chance I'd volunteer to be a tribute in those games.
dreamtosing 15
And it smells pretty shitty.
Lizardgirl 7
"And may your bowels be ever in your favor."
SammyS2012 21
Maybe sponsors can donate buckets
Jiplo 18
And the tributes could sabotage each other by putting more laxatives in their food.
teekie 10
They should have given you buckets...or just not put all of you in the same room to begin with!
HowieDoIt 21
What is this, Carnival Cruise?
thepersonyouknow 9
Stupid idea on their part
ShyAnn29 15
Yeah, I've never heard of 3 people sharing a hospital room, usually they have 2 people.
monnanon 14
its maybe a ward. in the uk wards usually sleep 4-8.
dectivebobby 6
Alright, one takes the bathroom, the other gets a bucket and the third one...be creative OP
KeannaLove 32
Could go bridesmaids style and use the the sink.
eyesmile27 7
What a shitty situation.
Sandsh8rk 36
What a shitty comment.
Lizardgirl 7
What a shitty reply to a shitty comment.
MrClean17 15
What a shit- Never mind.
Sandsh8rk 36
What a shitty reply to a shitty reply to a shitty comment.
Lizardgirl 7
No.
cyanidesandwich 21
Homemade 2 girls 1 cup?
dectivebobby 6
Can't really be 2 girls 1 cup if there's 3 of them...
TheBrochure 22
15 - Nor can it Really be homemade if they're in a hospital.
license2chill 5
15, one of them is gonna have the toilet, and the other two have to try to be resourceful..
browneyedgirl52 13
What kind of hospital has only one bathroom?
xInwex 12
Hopefully the OP meant one bathroom in the room she was staying in? Last time I checked hospitals had more than one bathroom. I know where I live all the hospitals have public bathrooms like every 20 feet
laurenasabutton 26
Do you think the doctors take bets on who can beat the others to the bathroom?