Today, I was given a powerful laxative to clear me out. I can't go to the bathroom because the four guests of my sleeping roommate are all sitting in dead silence against the paper-thin bathroom wall. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was admitted to the hospital for chronic constipation. I have to share a room with two other girls who are also having bowel problems. We're all on strong laxatives, and there's apparently only one bathroom in this place. FML
Today, all of my roommates were home. I really had to poop all day but the bathroom was being hogged. Once I finally got the chance to go, I guess the toilet didn't flush all the way and I didn't notice. The other roommates loudly asked each other who it was, and they all started loudly taking about me. FML
Today, I'm sharing a hotel room with co-workers on a business trip. The walls are paper-thin, you could hear a pin drop, and I'm trying to make my explosive diarrhea as close to silent as possible. FML
Today, my apartment management notified me that my water was going to be shut off all day so they could fix the plumbing. I took a laxative last night. FML
Today, I had to take a laxative for the first time. Instead of working gently overnight like it promised, I woke up at 3 a.m. to an unrelenting river of shit that made my legs numb on the toilet. FML
Today, I was constipated and so desperate to go that I ate an entire box of laxatives. Now I'm in the hospital on a saline drip for dehydration and malnutrition, in addition to getting a massive enema and having the most agonizing shit of my life. FML
Today, I was at home with slight constipation, so I took two laxatives. That's when my boyfriend called me, saying his parents are in town and want to have dinner tonight, this being the first time I've met them. I've already been on the toilet five times. FML
Today, thinking he was being so hilarious, my friend slipped me enough laxatives to make a horse shit its intestines out. I haven't been able to move from the toilet for over an hour. FML
Today, my entire family, myself included, has been turned into a collective diarrhea fountain after going out to eat. We only have one bathroom. FML
Today, there was a potluck at my girlfriend's house. I had a sour stomach, so I went to the bathroom to relieve myself. When I flushed, nothing happened. They had to call a plumber to fix the toilet filled with my crap. The whole family watched, noses plugged and faces cringed, looking at me. FML
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Top comments
Selphis 20
Just go... they'll stop listening soon enough ;-)
greenfishbait 19
You have to do what you have to do!
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Comments (72)
Bcfrmkc816 17
Just turn a faucet or shower on that might help. Or if ya an iPod or similar play the music loud as well
AlexiAwesome 10
If you don't, you could die, sooo...
ashjo 12
Should have turned the water tap running or put music on from your iPod and turn it up all the way
samanthasammi 4
Just turn on music. Whenever I go to the bathroom either to shower or do my business I blast music.
rainbowninjad 4
Just poop. Everyone does.
RHCPmagik 0
Who cares what they think, were all human. We all have to take a crap. Just do it and tell them to not go in there for 35-45 minutes, that always makes people laugh and you wont feel as embarrassed.. Also if you laugh at your own embarrassments people wont harp or linger on that one moment
legendxs 20
Yeah just go, they'll get out of there once you go.
marthamydear23 9
don't be an idiot. go!!!
shannon2348 14
dont be ridiculous. go!!!!
JoanT 11
Man up and poop no one actually cares and shockingly everyone *****