Today, I was given a powerful laxative to clear me out. I can't go to the bathroom because the four guests of my sleeping roommate are all sitting in dead silence against the paper-thin bathroom wall. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was admitted to the hospital for chronic constipation. I have to share a room with two other girls who are also having bowel problems. We're all on strong laxatives, and there's apparently only one bathroom in this place. FML
Today, all of my roommates were home. I really had to poop all day but the bathroom was being hogged. Once I finally got the chance to go, I guess the toilet didn't flush all the way and I didn't notice. The other roommates loudly asked each other who it was, and they all started loudly taking about me. FML
Today, I'm sharing a hotel room with co-workers on a business trip. The walls are paper-thin, you could hear a pin drop, and I'm trying to make my explosive diarrhea as close to silent as possible. FML
Today, my apartment management notified me that my water was going to be shut off all day so they could fix the plumbing. I took a laxative last night. FML
Today, I had to take a laxative for the first time. Instead of working gently overnight like it promised, I woke up at 3 a.m. to an unrelenting river of shit that made my legs numb on the toilet. FML
Today, I was constipated and so desperate to go that I ate an entire box of laxatives. Now I'm in the hospital on a saline drip for dehydration and malnutrition, in addition to getting a massive enema and having the most agonizing shit of my life. FML
Today, I was at home with slight constipation, so I took two laxatives. That's when my boyfriend called me, saying his parents are in town and want to have dinner tonight, this being the first time I've met them. I've already been on the toilet five times. FML
Today, thinking he was being so hilarious, my friend slipped me enough laxatives to make a horse shit its intestines out. I haven't been able to move from the toilet for over an hour. FML
Today, my entire family, myself included, has been turned into a collective diarrhea fountain after going out to eat. We only have one bathroom. FML
Today, there was a potluck at my girlfriend's house. I had a sour stomach, so I went to the bathroom to relieve myself. When I flushed, nothing happened. They had to call a plumber to fix the toilet filled with my crap. The whole family watched, noses plugged and faces cringed, looking at me. FML
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Top comments
Selphis 20
Just go... they'll stop listening soon enough ;-)
greenfishbait 19
You have to do what you have to do!
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Comments (72)
SMHsohard 22
Good grief, it's your house, you're prepping for a procedure; who cares what they think? Grab a magazine and let it rip-if they get offended, they can leave.
tooniceforgirls 6
Just go poop already ... It's human. It's not like they are sitting in the same room with you. I don't get this false sense of modesty ... Be loud, be proud! Or would you rather shit your pants?
binkztaah 2
I really don't think u have much choice in the matter if you've taken laxatives lol
seducemymind_22 9
Wow that sucks. Really a FML moment.
meherm 11
Dude! Who cares! We all shit! Go and clear yourself!
Fluffydemise 18
As a person with social anxiety, I sympathise. However, anxious or not you ARE going to shit yourself soon. Take the dump, and take it with pride, dammit!
cutiepie292929 18
Put Toilet paper in the toilet it helps with the sound! And don't worry!
Trish01 23
It may help with the splashing sound but can't help much with the sound of explosive diarrhoea which OP probably got after a while of waiting around!
benmec 18
Shit in the shower
mbuck87 19
Then just mash it down the drain with your toes! Shower fun!
ShyAnn29 15
Lol that FML was so gross!
rockbandaddict85 22
and my mind went straight to "van wilder movie" pooping in trashcan uncontrollably scene....
MidnaLink 35
People really shouldn't be listening to other people taking a crap. Just tell them to go screw themselves.