Today, I was getting ready to have sex with my boyfriend for the first time. It seems he thought I was a much larger cup size than I really am, because when he saw my actual boobs, he said, "Aaaaaaand they're gone". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend saw my boobs for the first time. His reaction was, "Well that's... disappointing". FML
Today, while having sex, my boyfriend admitted to having an affair. To comfort me, he said, "But you have bigger boobs, so you have nothing to worry about." FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend had bought me sexy lingerie for our anniversary. However, they're for for a bigger bust. When I asked if I could return it for the right size, he asked me to get a boob job to fit the bra instead. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot and heavy. She had her shirt off, and commented on the small size of her breasts. Trying to make her feel better, I said I'd dated girls with smaller breasts. She replied by saying she'd dated bigger penises. FML
Today, I was depressed because my boobs are really small for a 20 year old woman. To make me feel better my boyfriend said, "As long as they're bigger than mine." They weren't. FML
Today, was the first time I had sex with a guy I really like. I took off my shirt and my bra and he said "wow, that's disappointing." FML
Today, I finally felt ready to take my bra off during sex. My breasts had "deflated" somewhat due to weight loss and I was really self-conscious about them, but my boyfriend insisted I was hot no matter what. When the bra came off, the dick got soft. FML
Today, my boyfriend started laughing during sex because my boobs are slightly different. He then broke up with me after I pointed out that his nuts aren't exactly even either. FML
Today, I saw my boyfriend after not seeing him for 7 months. During this time, I have lost a lot of weight and am proud of it. My boyfriend didn't say anything about the lost weight. When we were alone and things started to heat up, he took off my bra and said, "I think your tits are smaller." FML
Today, I told my boyfriend about how I'm self-conscious about my B-cup breasts. About 20 minutes later, he pointed to another girl with a small chest and said, "See, you're not the only one with small tits!" FML
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Top comments
doodlecloud 27
Well, were you wearing a ridiculous push-up bra with a ton of padding? If so, can't really blame him for being surprised. If not and he's just really bad at judging size then that sucks...I'm betting it's more the former though.
vanity113 9
You should have put your hand down his pants and reciprocated the favour.
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Comments (88)
jnazzty 4
Lmao that's awesome you boyfriends a southpark fan "aaaaaannd it's gone"
Not_Impressed13 9
Sorry, OP! Your guy should have been more interested in admiring your boobs than quoting a meme.
Collegegurl 12
Thats the thing about padded bras, thats why i don't wear bras that often
mallu86 9
It was magical.
Notyours007 9
Op I'm sorry that he said that, it was a dick move but at that point say, "I thought you were seven inches, Im seeing about three and wondering where the rest ran off to".
Megan639 16
What a jackass.
Bunny21 11
This is the moment you look at his penis and say, "Sooo...where is it?"
rinoa_fml 10
My guess is that she was on her back and that her boobs had sunk into her armpits. Because that's what natural boobs do.
bigdfootball97 24
The magic of the push-up bra...
DRush_fml 12
If I were you, I would have called his dick small and walked out right there! He sounds like a douche...