Today, my boyfriend started laughing during sex because my boobs are slightly different. He then broke up with me after I pointed out that his nuts aren't exactly even either. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend compared my boobs to a flat tire. FML
Today, I was getting ready to have sex with my boyfriend for the first time. It seems he thought I was a much larger cup size than I really am, because when he saw my actual boobs, he said, "Aaaaaaand they're gone". FML
Today, while having sex, my boyfriend admitted to having an affair. To comfort me, he said, "But you have bigger boobs, so you have nothing to worry about." FML
Today, my boyfriend kept jiggling my fat rolls while we were cuddling. I was annoyed, and I told him he could at least go for my boobs instead. He instantly replied, "But these are bigger..." FML
Today, my boyfriend started talking to my breasts in public. As if that wasn't bad enough, he then started to jiggle them in his hands. FML
Today, my boyfriend saw my boobs for the first time. His reaction was, "Well that's... disappointing". FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because of our differing skin tones. The contrast weirds him out during sex. FML
Today, it's official, we measured. My boyfriend's manboobs are bigger than my breasts. FML
Today, after having sex with my boyfriend for the first time, he told me he wanted to break up. He told me my orgasm face wasn't something he could put up with. FML
Today, I was depressed because my boobs are really small for a 20 year old woman. To make me feel better my boyfriend said, "As long as they're bigger than mine." They weren't. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
The_Hitdude 12
Hypocrisy at it's finest.
toenibbler 14
One does not simply joke about other peoples' private parts, it generally ends badly.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (232)
The_Hitdude 12
Hypocrisy at it's finest.
skitzofreniks 5
Good riddance. Better off without somebody that gets offended that easily, especially when he just made fun of you.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Op's Boyfriend's logic: "I can talk about your fun bags, but you can't **** with mine."
traviole_fml 5
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Hypocrisy? Don't think so. The guy probably envisioned the kids they could have had... and simply renounced. :)
RavenRiley007 4
What a sissy boy! He should be able to take what he dished out
Dr0reos 8
He didnt want you to feel bad about having un even boobs but thats no reason to point out his flaws*he says in an incredibly sarcastic tone* GOD OP YOURE SUCH A HORRIBLE PERSON!!
Boomshadow 3
Good news for the human race, that. See, it turns out that no women's breasts are completely symmetrical.
comedybreak 20
Actually every guys left ball is lower/bigger than the right one.
tjv3 10
That sucks OP your x can dish but not take. Btw I'm not in to symmetry ;)
GaleHawthorne 0
150 is right. It really helps when we walk so that they don't bang into each other.
Shadowkatt 0
yep. typical man. they can dish it out but cant take it!
loney_pilot_boy 2
^ boobs ^ :D
SqueakyChipmunk 22
^ watch out! He's gonna Fap!
Kman343 5
mmm not every guy...surely.
qwillis98 20
Nuts arent supposed to be even the left one is supposed to hang lower -_-
toenibbler 14
One does not simply joke about other peoples' private parts, it generally ends badly.
gurly98 13
Really? I think we all know that
yankfan89 27
6- apparently not OP or her boyfriend.
Briscuit 24
#2- I really thought that said "Genitally ends badly* Apparently my brain runs on puns now. (:
Fml_FTW228 10
It wasn't a joke. His nuts were not exactly even, and neither were her boobs. That's how humans are made. If your nuts were exactly even they would hang the same distance and be knocking into each other all day. Same with boobs... Wouldn't that hurt? Exactly.
monster_tamer 11
Uh, my boobs are even. Doesn't hurt. O-o'
Keevarou 17
It's ok, mines not even either
tygerarmy 35
Wow, that's nuts. Your ex is such a boob.
drawmyhearton_fml 3
#34 boobs don't work the same way as balls xD whether they are equal or not really doesn't make any différence! Everything about the Human body is not even. And I doubt the size difference between thumb nails improve anything.
MischievousV 8
It's because we aren't born/grown symmetrically. That's why one side of the face differs from the other and so forth. Amazingly a lot of ppl know very little of their bodies.
cherry72 13
Not really on boobs, but the other does make perfect sense. Ok there's my 2 cents for the day lol.
sunnykitten 1
Good observation numbskull
MariahMurderr 7
Well I don't know about balls but boobs grow at a different rate. Thus one is slightly bigger. It might not even be noticeable
shrimpygymnast 9
It genitally ends bad.
Pandacupcakelove 26
Well, atleast now you know he was never worth your time.
xblair 11
Well, he's stupid and an asshole
Keevarou 17
Double standards, gotta love em! Some men can really be douchebags
Akazuki 26
Yeah! We need more nice guys like you, Keevarou :)
SkoomaKi 28
Most of the time its always the nice and sophisticated girls that are with jerks and douchebags. This is while the nice guys are sitting uncomfortably in the friend zone. Nice guys never win.
Keevarou 17
I prefer the "brother" zone than friend one kind of. But if you play your cards right, everyone can get a decent girl. And to be fair, I can be a two faced bastard too. Everyone have their good and bad days :)
SkoomaKi 28
That's a nicer way to put it :) Eventually they do, but in the mean time, it hurts. I've been in the "brother zone" myself and it's not fun at all. The girl of your dreams with some asshole. But I'm over that. Keevarou you're not 2 faced! You're a cool guy.
Keevarou 17
I'm two faced really. And the brother zone can hurt unless you do it yourself, sometimes you know when to pull out of stuff :) And thank you kind sir. *Gives a septim*
SkoomaKi 28
I love you. Like so much. Getting out the friend zones a push, but like you said, you eventually get out :) This septim shall serve me well kind sir.
twisted_cherub 14
Girls get that, too. I like gaming, think about sex as often as the average male, know a bit about cars and guns, have an incredibly smart zombie plan, love football, and am generally more logical and less emotional. For that reason I was labeled "one of the guys". To make it worse, I was always stuck babysitting their skanks of the week on camping trips, at sporting events, etc.
SkoomaKi 28
Good on you for being different than the "average" woman.
kira_the_boss 1
74, if every guy gets a decent girl, then who gets all the other girls?
Keevarou 17
Those that deserve it mostly I guess. Everyone have a different definition of decent or "other" :) But life can generally be unfair
Trisha_aus 15
Kurt with relationship advice
Dr0reos 8
4-KURT YOU'RE ALIVE!?!?!
downtime 13
Ugh, so sick of the defeatist "nice guys finish last" crap. It is both wrong AND whiney, and kind of makes it obvious why you're finishing last.
AnthonyN 5
37- Nice guys finish last...
petraphotoDOTca 6
.....you're too cute! :)
jweezy89 4
I'm also sick and tired of these "nice guys" bitching all the time. Big deal, a girl you like is with someone else. So go find another girl! You can still be friends with the first one. Look around, there are plenty of women out there. You finish last because you refuse to increase your odds. If you want a tree to grow, plant more then one seed. I'm not saying cheat on or mislead anyone, but cast a wider net guys, and stop crying about one girl!
kathuzada 6
Peeeeeeeeeeenuts
SqueakyChipmunk 22
The 'e' key: Please stop abusing me.
kandi_kid69 15
Fell asleep on the "e" key, bud?
therealslim 15
I think we're missing an 'a' in there too
MedKits 9
Someone let a toddler onto FML! Quickly, someone send him back to his play cage before he discovers ****!
alychick 5
Omg are you a ******* douchebag to the -e- key! It needs a break sometimes you know !!!
lopsop 12
Why yes I think that was known
chikita10 0
iiiidiot!
jaystreet46 4
Beat that thang!
staymintyfresh 13
People shouldn't make comments about other peoples flaws, espesially during sex, but he is a total hypocrite.
onlychildFTW 34
He's a hypocrite. But gotta love double standards. Haha. He shouldn't have said your boobs are different. but the way you replied wasn't the greatest either. Shoulda just not let him finish and not have sex for a month! Haha.
spazz666 18
Lol I would have gone after the reaction of "okay, I'll just start wearing a shirt during sex so you don't have to look at them 'cause apparently it bothers you so much that you have to laugh at me about it."
eatthemcows 4
Now you won't have to worry about disproportional children.
thatonename 7
You never know, their non-symmetry could have evened out into the perfectly symmetrical baby. lol
immaMonsta 8
Wow, what an immature hypocrite.
RedPillSucks 33
What a nut case.
afallingstar 22
I see what you did there
SliceOfCake 9
99 - some things are best kept to yourself.
Albarufus 13
Sheeesh, men... X_X
The_Hitdude 12
Sheesh, women who throw all men into one group.
Crazberry 5
Run for your life #12, the people of fml don't like stereotypes. Even if someone is part of the group they're commenting on.
mvems 13
Number 12 you look like Justin Beiber
starflyer59 17
14: I think 12 is a guy...
MizzErikaHart 8
I thought it was Justin bieber.