Today, I was eating at a Mexican restaurant with my sister. I was happily biting into a burrito, when I saw a man in his car in the restaurant parking lot, staring at us and jacking off. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was eating lunch in my car. There was a cute guy, also in his car, who kept smiling at me and winking with a cheeky grin. I considered giving him my number but his girlfriend suddenly sat up from having her head in his lap, wiping her mouth. He was getting a blowjob the entire time. FML
Today, I was at my favorite Mexican restaurant when I realized my really cute waiter, along with his buddies kept looking at me and smiling. Trying to be cool, I took a bite of my burrito, choked, and spilled ground beef down my new shirt and in my bra. They laughed the whole time. FML
Today, while I was waiting at a bus stop, a man stopped at the red light and smiled at me. I smiled back. He blew me a kiss and drove away, just as I realized he was masturbating behind the wheel. FML
Today, while driving, I saw a car pull over with its hazard lights on. I went to see if they needed help, only to see the guy was jerking off to something on his phone. FML
Today, I got lost in a car park, late at night, unable to find my car. I started panicking, so I called my dad. I sat down to catch my breath. After about 2 minutes, I heard a noise. I looked up to see a guy jerking off while watching me. He smiled, so I instinctively threw my backpack at his junk and he ran off. FML
Today, I saw a ridiculously hot guy dining with his family. I decided not to flirt with him with his parents around but to ask his sister (who went to the restroom) to give him my phone number. When I came back, I saw her pointing a finger at me, and the whole family turning around and staring. FML
Today, I was at the mall with my friends, when a creepy man sat at the table next to us, and started rubbing his crotch, his gaze never leaving my feet. FML
Today, while in a public restroom, a man entered the stall next to me and began vigorously wanking. He finished quickly, but as he was leaving he peeped in at me through the crack in the stall door. FML
Today, I was talking to my boyfriend about some recent family drama my sister has been causing. He quickly lost interest and started jacking off right next to me. FML
Today, I saw my best friend's car in the parking lot of the store, so I ran over to say hi, since I'm secretly in love with him. I saw him and his girlfriend getting nasty in the back. I'm now at home, crying and masturbating. FML
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Top comments
knibbsy 4
I hope you waved! Nothing would kill his boner like doing the opposite of what he expects. Actually, you should have held up your hand up to the window and spaced your index finger and thumb about 2 inches apart, to indicate that he has a tiny little penis. Do that while laughing.
x_Cupcakes 0
Disturbing!
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Comments (199)
oocarmelgirl0807 0
first :)
numbers878 8
not for long.
SunshineBoy21 0
I'm sorry. I didn't mean to disturb your meal.
whcwtexan 0
he wanted to put his burrito in your taco! first FTW!
1d1r1a1g1o1n 0
nope, second
KarinaLizeth18 5
hahahha!! Exactly what I was thinking! xD ewwwyyy, LOL!!
badboy310 0
* FAIL *
eshhayz 0
were you biting into her "burrito"?
GotALife 11
You want to be my bad boy? NO!!!!! Lol wierd but funny:)
spatz447 3
Kinky! ;)
ComMed1 0
ydi for not getting up and helping.
KarinaLizeth18 5
4 - This is just so wrong! xD haha, shame on you!! LOL
dmayhemc 0
Oh, that's so awesome
lemoncows 2
suck that burrito ;)
Einstein714 0
it must of been the way you were stroking your burrito
GaryBusey1121 0
that was me!!!
thebignixie 0
he was clearly jacking off to the burritos.
ayleyyasuko 0
wanky
zeeindahouse 0
must be the way u were holding the burrito
seanders 10
Sour cream is free.
BlackMoon_fml 9
Lmao ;)
jimbob13 0
lol
Toiga 0
haha sexy
madarchod 0
A girl eating burrito is a turn on, didn't you know?
fastasstang 0
your extremely pretty:)
jmack8796 0
yummeh ;)
jasonfabian 0
it's funny
MrCatman1125 2
Maybe, if you were, don't dress like a ****. If you weren't then I guess there's not much you can do. Also, take it as a compliment that your so beautiful that men jerk off to you:)
mangoboy1 19
I wish I was hot enough that people masturbated to me eating a burrito:(
x_Cupcakes 0
Disturbing!
daltreix 3
Lol that would suck just looking out the window u see 0-0 *fap fap fap* *squirt*
Alvarortor 14
DAMN IT FELIPE!!! I'm going to have to talk to him about the secret sauce in his burritos I apologize for him jacking off to your face eating a burrito.
Sencilia 14
How could you tell he was jacking off if he was in his car?
BisFitty 7
#7 Exactly, this is completely made up. There is no way she would be able to see someone jacking off in their damn car.
Southern_Grown 0
Not true. It depends on the circumstances. If the guy was really going at it, it's hard to miss. Or, if he had a really long ****, or even, boldly, if he was parked close and was in a car that sat low; while she was sitting by a window overlooking the parking lot. it's all possible. However, most of these are obviously made up, but this isn't as far stretched as most I've seen on here.
loski87 4
That's the same thing I was wondering. Sounds like wishful thinking to me...
ohgosh_noooo 0
his arm would have been moving up and down! DUH!!
hahafylop 4
what if the door was open? or whoever it was that said his arm was moving up and down? or what if there was ••• on the window? think retards
slayerxx 7
I agree should have explained that one more
xNephilim 19
It's possible... 2nd story restaurant?
whcwtexan 0
dang it! second FTW!!!
SmallTownCutie 0
you have failed once again.
Jaydos 0
Hahaha did he add mayo??
suave0510 0
XD now dat is just wrong............ I wonder if he did lmfao
gabsta 3
hahaha
AndyCav 0
lmfao
itsgabriellee 4
14- you wouldn't be referencing AskSwifty/ Swiftkaratechop, would you? :)
Jaydos 0
nope got no idea who those people are haha
itsgabriellee 4
Oh shucks. That's basically his catch phrase.
KarinaLizeth18 5
Lost for words, hmm? I don't think so. xD LOL, but your story is disgusting! ;( I'm sorry you had to go through that. There are so many sick f*ckers in the world.
knibbsy 4
I hope you waved! Nothing would kill his boner like doing the opposite of what he expects. Actually, you should have held up your hand up to the window and spaced your index finger and thumb about 2 inches apart, to indicate that he has a tiny little penis. Do that while laughing.
mikehaddad 0
EPIC
Syrael 0
Dont worry! It means either you or your sister is smoking hot ! xD
sourgirl101 29
or the burrito is hot! Hey, some people get turned on by food.
GaryBusey1121 0
yeah, I love MDMA it turns me on
kiwi00 0
If the guy is hanging out at burrito places looking for chicks to jerk off to... he might be in to fatties.
random210 0
probably her sister
Foxy_On_Fire 21
um no
steven107 7
I saw a guy in his car jacking off one time ... He was looking at me with a blank face at a red light and I was in a truck so I saw every thing... Bad times... Bad times