Today, I was at my favorite Mexican restaurant when I realized my really cute waiter, along with his buddies kept looking at me and smiling. Trying to be cool, I took a bite of my burrito, choked, and spilled ground beef down my new shirt and in my bra. They laughed the whole time. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went out to eat with friends. My crush was also at the restaurant with his friends. He smiled at me as I took a mouthful of food, and I choked. The waitress had to perform the Heimlich maneuver on me, while he and his friends fell off their chairs laughing. FML
Today, I was at a fancy restaurant. I was drinking some water when I noticed a hot guy eating alone at another table waving at me. I smiled back, but had forgotten to swallow the water so it dribbled out of my mouth all over my shirt. FML
Today, while at dinner with my current boyfriend, my ex walked in with his new girlfriend. The waiter put them at the table next to ours, and the two of them had a front row seat to me spilling an entire guacamole salad on my lap out of nervousness. FML
Today, while at Costco, I was eating a hotdog when I saw a really hot guy walking over. Trying to be sexy, I bit my hotdog cutely and winked. I ended up choking and dropping the ketchup covered hotdog all over my lap. FML
Today, I was feeling sick but went into my waitressing job because I'd already missed 3 days this week. I was dizzy and managed to spill a tray of drinks all over the customers. Then, when their food was done, I tripped and spilled hot chili all over the man's lap. FML
Today, I was on a double date at a restaurant with two friends of mine and a guy I really liked. Things started getting really quiet so I decided to start talking to make things a little bit less awkward even though I was eating. I ended up spitting a piece of chicken across the table. FML
Today, I ate at Chipotle. There was a girl sitting alone, so I asked if I could eat lunch with her. She said yes, and as I sat down I tried to open my bag of chips. When trying to do so, my hand slipped, and I punched myself in the face. She laughed, and promptly left. FML
Today, I went out to lunch with a couple of work buddies. Trying to be suave, I started hitting on our waitress. Not two seconds after saying, "Hey baby," I felt ice water on my balls. The guy next to me had spilled both our water glasses. FML
Today, I was having lunch at McDonald's when I dropped a French fry down my shirt. It stuck out the top of my bra. Before I had the chance to remove it, a creepy man picked it out and ate it saying that it was the best French fry he had ever eaten. FML
Today, my friend told the cute waiter it was my birthday. He brought out a dessert with a candle and put a huge sombrero on my head. Everyone at the restaurant started singing me happy birthday. I got embarrassed and put my head down. My sombrero caught on fire. FML
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Top comments
dimkims 0
Eating a burrito makes you "cool"?
DeadMansCrack 4
I fail to see how eating burritos makes you "cool"
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Comments (158)
moose91894 0
haha
suaveneanderthal 0
Ahh bloody hell, i thought i was gonna get first but moose got too it first. But seriously how lame are the FML's getting when people are now complaining about getting food on/in their shirt. I mean i understand cute guys were involved but honestly, people eat messy mexican all the time
thealliance 0
FIRST FIRSTFIRSTFIRSTFIRSTFIRSTFIRSTFIRSTFIRSTFIRSTFIRSTFIRSTFIRSTFIRSTFIRSTFIRSTFIRSTFIRSTFIRSTFIRSTFIRSTFIRSTFIRSTFIRSTFIRSTFIRSTFIRSTFIRSTFIRSTFIRSTFIRSTFIRSTFIRSTFIRSTFIRSTFIRSTFIRSTFIRSTFIRSTFIRSTFIRSTFIRSTFIRSTFIRSTFIRSTFIRSTFIRSTFIRSTFIRSTFIRSTFIRSTFIRSTFIRSTFIRSTFIRSTFIRSTFIRSTFIRSTFIRSTFIRSTFIRSTFIRSTFIRSTFIRSTFIRSTFIRSTFIRSTFIRSTFIRSTFIRSTFIRSTFIRSTFIRSTFIRSTFIRSTFIRSTFIRSTFIRSTFIRSTFIRSTFIRSTFIRSTFIRSTFIRSTFIRSTFIRSTFIRSTFIRSTFIRSTFIRSTFIRSTFIRSTFIRSTFIRSTFIRSTFIRSTFIRST LOL i win
myhairynutsack 0
in your dreams sucka
Young_Sparta 0
OMG i didnt get the first comment, im obviously not worthy of existing on the same website as you cool *****. now i gotta delete my profile, come out of my basement, and get prepped for the gay sex with my awkward shemale named ted. FAIL.
JarJarBinks_fml 0
LOL no you don't #10
F_fatchick_lives 0
Congratulations!
responses 0
because taking a bite of your burrito will impress a bunch of waiters... the morons on fml these days
z620 0
um ur not first...
MeowingKat 0
You think it's cool to choke on a burrito, then get meat down your shirt? Kids these days...
sparkman97 7
I love fml's like this. "Today, i was at the mall and saw my crush. I wanted to bite something sexy, accidentally bit my phone and electrocuted myself. FML"
accepted850 9
That's not very funny.
suaveneanderthal 0
lol no way
dimkims 0
Eating a burrito makes you "cool"?
lives_ppl 0
Seriously. What's with people dissing her? By "trying to be cool" she probably meant trying to act like she didn't notice. I mean you've got to have some serious issues with people if you think a girl would think that eating a burrito looks cool.
swooshq 0
haha, I agree. How do you be cool while eating a burrito
SeekayofRome 0
Yeeaahh, "trying to be cool," followed by "I took a bite of my burrito" doesn't exactly make me think of "cool." It makes me think of "hungry," if that helps.
minkledoo22 0
CHYA IT DOES!
cacheson 42
Maybe OP means "cool" like in playing it cool and not freaking out or getting too excited.
zeal 0
Lol, at least you made them laugh!
Sun_Kissed18 25
And guys like that ;) you're in!
xNephilim 19
I'm confused. I always thought guys don't care if a girl is funny?
23lf 16
You must have terrible experience with guys...
SinfulRose 0
lmao wow XD
Starchild21 3
Aww that sucks really bad. If you were able to I hope you pounded Tequila shots to forget the night lol ___________________________ www.myspace.com/rapid99
DeadMansCrack 4
I fail to see how eating burritos makes you "cool"
lmfao25 0
hahaha completely agree. Yeah, cause guys are sooooo attracted to chicks taking a huge chomp out of a big delicious burritos these days, right? Mmmmm...the way they chew that tortilla just drives men wild. Good job, champ.
yeahsurre 0
LMAO! your comment made me laugh, where the fml did not. #52=win!
kisseshugsdrugs 5
hey 52, naybe she tried to eat the whole burrito in one bite, id be impressed
gueeterman 4
Id definitely talk to her if she stuffed the whole burrito down her throat and swallowed.
sharpe15 0
lol how are burritos sexy anyway
The_Chuck_Norris 0
oh yeah girl deep throat that burrito :/
SiLveRStaRLIGHT 0
LOL.
Ucla_cupcake 0
lmao that's what I was thinking
geoffmp 0
Lol maybe she was trying to show them she can deepthroat a burrito but the burrito proved to be to big hahahaha