Today, I was talking to my boyfriend about some recent family drama my sister has been causing. He quickly lost interest and started jacking off right next to me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went over to my boyfriend's house. After asking him what was wrong due to his weird attitude, he responded with, "This isn't working; I'm in love with my sister." FML
Today, my friend called to say my boyfriend was at a diner with another woman. I immediately went and caught them in a deep conversation. I slapped him and yelled "Who's this bitch!?" It turns out she's his half sister. FML
Today, my boyfriend left me for his sister. No, not my sister. His sister. FML
Today, after meeting my boyfriend's family for the first time, I found out that he, his sister, and their father enjoy talking loudly over the person who is currently talking, because what anyone else says is not worth listening to. FML
Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my family. It was going well until my 23 year-old sister started telling him in detail about her constipation, and that if she doesn't take a shit in a few days, it's going to come out of her mouth. FML
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend jacking it. He wouldn't continue and let me watch. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend is only with me because he's in love with my sister, who turned him down repeatedly, and I'm the closest he can now get. FML
Today, I felt frisky, so I went over to my boyfriend's place, hoping to have some fun. I brought over a movie, and part-way through it, I started feeling him up. He responded by sighing, "That's really fucking annoying, babe. Cut it out, yeah?" FML
Today, I noticed that my boyfriend's sister looks at my ass more than my boyfriend does. FML
Today, my boyfriend said he was too tired to have sex with me because he'd spent the whole day jerking off. FML
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Top comments
woainishamu 21
Mentioning your sister probably got his gear box running.
Crazc 15
bite his dick
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Comments (121)
Crazc 15
bite his dick
speakersboom 19
But then she'd be talking with her mouth full, which is just ill-mannered.
xElitexGamer 5
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Lol. U should have pretended to blow him, but then bite his dick instead. Bet that would have really got his attention:D
Crazc 15
#17 not necessarily, just bite the tip
James_is_Mexican 25
It could have been worse, he could have slowly put his dick in your mouth while you were talking...
Alvarortor 14
That's probably a fetish for someone... *looks at reader*
PIGaming 21
WTF IS GOING ON RIGHT NOW?!
adrianh1090 12
Wtf are you guys talking about biting dicks.
groovycrazyjoe 18
tell him to stop being a dick
sonictardis 8
Why do I feel like I'm on tumblr?
Crazc 15
dont be a dick about how bad my second comment was
ramseytt69 8
Well did you assist him? Or did you slap him and tell him to be mature?
ironik69 31
Or she could have slapped him and told him to be premature.
King_paradox 22
You deserve more + votes
nchic01 17
i wouldn't put up with that personally
woainishamu 21
Mentioning your sister probably got his gear box running.
MomentoMori 23
Wow, that's both immature and inconsiderate. Sorry you had to put up with that.
Kamon97 23
She could always dump the prick why put up with someone so insensitive and rude when there are tons of better guys out there
niallo 23
Actually, I think that was his polite way of saying "Shut Up".
iwadasn 33
I don't think you actually know what "polite" means.
speakersboom 19
Well that's an odd way to say you're bored...
sig4life 18
Absolutely. He didn't cum over to hear about the drama.
skatergal99 17
That's rather awkward...
sig4life 18
It would be really awkward if they were in the living room.
Welshite 40
Your name is fitting, I guess. Jack and Jill always go together. He took it a bit too literally though.
olpally 33
What an ignorant asshat. Family comes first, not him.
speakersboom 19
I think he came first in this situation .-.
ThatFancyPenn 18
In more ways than one..
blcksocks 19
Always Keep your story interesting, if it is not interesting enough then throw some random shocking words like "and then my sister got naked" ...that will get some attention
Not_Impressed13 9
OP probably tried that.. hence the jacking off.