Today, I was diagnosed with gonorrhea. My dad's reaction was to slowly clap at the news then giggle at his own joke. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I told my dad that I had a herpes infection. He said, "Good." FML
Today, I went to the doctor's office, where my mother happens to work. When my doctor tried to prank her by saying I have chlamydia, my mother laughed and said she didn't believe it, adding, "Have you even seen the way she interacts with boys?" FML
Today, I found out the girl I gave my virginity to gave me gonorrhea. FML
Today, after realizing it burned when I peed, I found out the boy I waited two years to have sex with gave me gonorrhea. FML
Today, I came back from the doctor after having been diagnosed with a UTI. My dad now won't shut up about it, saying stuff like, "You must be 'pissed'", "Looks like 'urine' a bit of pain", and "'Urea'-lly need some antibiotics, son", all while making obnoxious finger quotes in the air. FML
Today, I went to see my dad to tell him that my girlfriend of two years is pregnant. He burst out laughing, and said, "You r*tard! You've fallen for the oldest trick in the book! Caught by your dick in the hairy bear trap!" He was still laughing hysterically when I left an hour later. FML
Today, I got diagnosed with Lyme disease. My whole family thought it would be hilarious to call it, "Lame disease." FML
Today, my boyfriend proposed. Two hours later I get a text from my ex announcing he has just been diagnosed with chlamydia. I now have to explain this to my fiancé. FML
Today, I saw my father for the first time in two years. He felt compelled to tell me about how he got involved with a BDSM group and got an STD because of it. FML
Today, my new boyfriend with whom I'm completely smitten called me and told me he had an early Valentine's Day gift for me. Gonorrhea. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
AirBusDriver 23
Clap clap clap... maybe next time you ought to just FAP FAP FAP.
giantsfan2010 23
Don't be silly, cover your willy!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (126)
jesuis_julie 21
Should have listened to the sex Ed teacher in White Chicks.
xninix_fml 36
You mean, mean girls?
ProfessorMctitie 20
#41 You go Glenn Coco!
kirbs19 37
Stop trying to make white chicks cool it's not going to work!
xninix_fml 36
@46 lmao thanks :)
ProfessorMctitie 20
Doesn't matter had sex, on the serious note though that does suck to hear
kayladayla 13
Lmao what the hell else would you expect? It's your FATHER!
ileenefudge 29
His father took the news better than most parents would.
j_cat187 20
You should give him gonorrhea.
xninix_fml 36
wtf no.
kirbs19 37
Your should be more careful with your little friend!
allyiscute1 22
Your life blows but on the other hand your dad is awesome!(: and he didn't get mad so that's great!(x
iPixiee 23
Stupid question : what is gonorrhea? I'm serious is that a soa? :$
kirbs19 37
It's an STD Google will give you all the answers to your questions!
iPixiee 23
Thanks :)
rachb007 11
Why would you even tell your dad that?
mergeterge 24
Why would you tell your dad?? "You deserve it" just for that... Not necessarily the unfortunate diagnosis.
CaliCassanova 14
Bro he could have reacted soooo much worse! The whole situation could have been soooo much worse you need to just count your blessings!! 1 not life threatening 2 your dad's funny