Today, I saw my father for the first time in two years. He felt compelled to tell me about how he got involved with a BDSM group and got an STD because of it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my father decided to tell me in detail when and how he lost his virginity. He even told me what position it was and who this girl was. I will never look at him in the same way again. He also made his hands "have sex". FML
Today, I saw my dad naked. How? He came into the room I was staying in, drunk. I'm gonna need a whole lot of therapy. FML
Today, I had the misfortune of being left alone with my dad. He took it as an opportunity to tell me in detail all about his recent vasectomy, and the complications the surgeon had due to the scar tissue on my dad's testicles. FML
Today, my dad told me he had been seeing someone for a while and has decided to marry her. When I met her, her son looked familiar. I lost my virginity to him. FML
Today, I found out my happily married father has been hiring escorts on-line for 3 years. FML
Today, my father contacted me for the first time in years to ask about my upcoming wedding, and possibly walking me down the aisle. He claimed the only reason he left was because he thought I'd be gay. I am. FML
Today, my dad came home from work early only to walk in on me and the boy I'm not supposed to be seeing having sex. Did I mention doggie style? FML
Today, my boyfriend told his parents about my bondage fetish. In front of me. FML
Today, I found out that I spent a year helping my dad get back into shape, not for his own good health which was what I thought, but so that he could cheat on my mom with five other women. FML
Today, I'm temporarily staying at my parents' place because my mother injured her knee and can't walk, and for the second time, I caught my father walking around with his bare dick. FML
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Top comments
sarcasmismyno1 22
Maybe he's really struggling and needed someone to talk to?
Clay201 4
ive been involved in BDSM groups for 18 years and the only people ive met with STDs got them from vanilla partners. The man got an STD by having sex with an infected partner, not from spanking someone.
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Comments (28)
utrax 23
Sounds like he's been having a good time, good for him.
pjsr 33
What?! My birds and the bees talk didn't include anything about BDSM
liinkinparkfan97 34
Sorry you had to hear all that OP. Somethings should just be left unspoken.
Areyoukiddingmoi 15
Look on the bright side, now you know what to be cautious of if you're ever interested in joining a bdsm group
RocksGuy 0
Sadly, not as many groups teach people how to "negotiate" and "verify" the status of people they play/are intimate with. I'm glad I found a group that teaches those things and it worked out really well.
brooklyn0118 22
Maybe sharing isn't caring in this situation
OysterPearls 33
So I'm guessing you refrained from calling him Daddy? (I'm sorry.)
whitnayfortooh 29
haha took the words right out of my mouth!! I was just about to comment that! :D
mohamed_H 21
Seriously people here in fml downvote for absolutely stupid reasons like why would you downvote #11?
BestOrginalName 22
The FML community is pretty erratic with their comment-voting. Hell, someone can comment that their dog died and they'd still get buried. But hey! I love this app/website! *camera shifts to captor with a gun in hand*
pjsr 33
Because someone else already said it. If #11 agrees, then #11 should upvote. Nobody cares that #11 was going to say the same thing.
ClairvoyantVamp 19
I totally agree with #27. Just upvote if you think the same thing; you don't need to comment. That's unnecessary.
c420racer 13
When he asked his Mistress to punish him for being a "bad boy" I'm pretty sure an STD was not what he meant. I think they're doing it wrong.
ConfederateSlave 2
I approve of your sense of humor
RichardPencil 32
An STD from BDSM? That's TMI and you're gonna need ECT to erase the PTSD!
_Adog2645 24
What?
williamcarter93 13
A sexuxally transmitted disease? That's too much information and you will need electroconvulsive therapy to get rid of the Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
allie2590 31
I didn't know BDSM stood for "Big Disease Sharing Mob"
sirdannyboy1 20
STDs: gotta catch 'em all! (don't)