Today, while taking out the trash late at night with my mom, a group of people drove by and decided it would be funny to turn around and chase us up the driveway in their car. Before I even realized what was happening, my mom was already halfway to the house yelling back, "You're on your own!" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I noticed a car following me all the way to my house. It was dark so I got really nervous and called the police. The person got out of the car. It was my mom. FML
Today, my dad forced me to take part in a pathetic act of revenge against our neighbors, who keep parking their 4x4 in front of our house. He made me stand watch while he kept trying to slash their tires. An hour later, we were waiting for my mom to bail us out of jail. FML
Today, my very drunk mother decided to run down the block naked, screaming at the top of her lungs, "She's trying to kill me!" as I followed behind her in my car, yelling for her to get in. FML
Today, my friend and I were getting picked up by his dad after a carnival. As I put my stuff in the back of the car and shut the door to walk around to get in the other side, his dad drove off, thinking I was in the car, leaving me to walk up their hill. It was midnight and I ended up lost. FML
Today, I walked out onto the driveway to find my mom standing on the wet pavement, screaming at the worms that had come out after the rain, saying that they were "on private property" and that they were "trespassing." All of our neighbors had come out of their houses to watch. FML
Today, my mom drove my car and had to make a U-turn on a narrow street. Instead of slowing down, she sped up to turn, running off the road and denting my car. To make things worse, she blamed me for not giving her good directions, then followed that up with, "It's not that bad." FML
Today, I was driving around my campsite at dark in the middle of a forest. My father thought it would be funny to run up to my window, put his face against the glass and scream. I drove into a tree. FML
Today, I was taking a stroll in our yard, when my mother decided it would be hilarious to run me down with her Segway. FML
Today, at a restaurant, I noticed a really hot girl leaving with her friend. A few minutes later they came back, laughing uncontrollably, and announced that some moron forgot to put on their parking brake and the car was rolling into the full parking lot. It was my car. They watched me chase it. FML
Today, after my dad insisted that the trash go out last night, even though I always take it out in the morning because of the stray dog problem in our neighborhood, I took it anyway to appease him. He woke me up banging on my door and screaming because the strays had thrown the trash all over the road in the night, and he blames me. FML
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Top comments
camoMS 18
Next time she's bringing in groceries run up the driveway saying "You're on your own!"
Tripartita 45
In my professional opinion, you were momentarily trapped in a cartoon. This would also explain the reluctance to run off to the side of the driveway and to somewhere the drivers wouldn't go.
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Comments (43)
GRANTTILA 5
First
Ramb0 20
I like your mum
Fredrick010 9
ikr i want to **** her
camoMS 18
Next time she's bringing in groceries run up the driveway saying "You're on your own!"
Tripartita 45
In my professional opinion, you were momentarily trapped in a cartoon. This would also explain the reluctance to run off to the side of the driveway and to somewhere the drivers wouldn't go.
Dale_shackleford 13
If op was armed she could have easily got away with shooting them. Chasing someone with a car on their own property is enough to make someone reasonably fear for their lives and the lives of those around them.
thawny_fml 21
Especially if they were black. Not only would she have gotten away with it but she also would've passed the induction to become a cop.
OhPuhleeze 23
Yeah.. that's what we need.. More guns.
david66_fml 20
31, how does this tie into the post?
Colon_Man 17
#4. OP should have painted a white centerline that dead ended at a brick wall.
Shadowbay 18
Life lessons 101
ezrocks4u 29
The ****? Unless you know them, they're asking to get beaten/shot/ect. I don't know the circumstances, but sounds like if anything went wrong and they actually hit you, could've been charged w/ assault with a deadly weapon.
Iwannarock1 19
This is why you carry a gun.
Qandol 26
If you don't know who they are, and if I were you I would get the license plate and the color of the car and call the cops to be safe or from happening again.
Mowmee 14
Hopefully she just panicked and apologizes afterwards!
Nickimariek 20
Sounds like a fun mom, and something my mom would do...
kasuke06 5
Oh please. She has the means to make more children. If you can dodge a car, you can dodge a ball.