Today, I was cooking. I leaned over the stove to preheat the oven, and burned my nipple on a pot of boiling water. I also have a teething son who is breastfeeding. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was cooking, and I took a pot of boiling water to the sink to drain. My pot holder slipped, and the boiling water spilled all over my breasts. Second degree boob burns are bad, but losing half a nipple to potato salad is worse. FML
Today, while cooking, I managed to burn my finger. I quickly turned the tap on and ran my finger under cold water, but apparently someone had just used the hot tap, because boiling water flooded out onto my nicely scalded finger. FML
Today, I got burned, all because the toaster scared me while I was holding a pot of boiling water. FML
Today, I spilt a very hot cup of tea all over a burn I got yesterday from spilling a very hot cup of tea. FML
Today, I had to explain to my husband that while trying to figure out how to make coffee on our stupid new machine, I was in fact nude, so when I finally got it to work and steam came hissing out of the nozzle, I got first degree burn on my nipple. FML
Today, I accepted I can't cook at all. Why? I burned myself cooking popcorn in a microwave oven. I accidentally burst the package open and a scorching kernel flew into my bra. FML
Today, I burned myself while cooking, so I asked my mom to get the burn cream while I waited in the kitchen. While I was waiting, I absentmindedly set my hand on the hot stove, earning myself a second burn. FML
Today, while grabbing a husk of corn out of the boiling hot pot, I splashed hot water on my neck, dropped the corn on my injured toe, and cut myself on the counters, all while my family laughed at my pain. FML
Today, I burned my butt on the heater when I tried to warm up after my shower. FML
Today, I made a cup of tea at work. Whilst talking to a workmate, I took a sip of the tea, which I had forgotten was boiling hot, and laughed at the same time, causing it to come out of my nose. I have blistered my whole mouth and even burnt my nostrils. FML
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Top comments
PistachioNut94 0
were you naked?
blacklikemyheart 0
Its a shame people don't have two nipples...
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Comments (284)
moist_towelettes 0
wow
the_stereotype 0
how did you even manage to do that?
aaaaa2p 0
First!
kukri187 12
I have nipples can you milk me?
Lonely_Lez 0
Meet The Parents.
youlose_ 0
ydi for having a baby. annoying brats, the world has too many already
iwadasn 33
Maybe your mother should have taken that advice.
cthulhu1138 1
As other posters said, have your son use the other nipple. There are methods of draining a breast that don't require a teething baby sucking on them.
your_face 15
And, as others have said, they all involve some sort of contact, any of which would hurt like heck.
Narzhul 0
Someone should do an illustration for this. Just saying.
hetizmij 0
Maybe that's why you have two...
mollyjynxjax 28
She still has to drain the other
your_face 15
I love how many people assume she's naked. I'd like all of you to do me a favor: put on a regular shirt, then heat up a pot of boiling water and lean over it. Try to make sure part of your body that is covered by the shirt comes into contact with the pot, the water, or the steam, and tell me it doesn't hurt.
nvrsaynvr 0
still it'd b tha shirt not tha nipple...but y'd she hve 2 bend ovr so far?!
JackoTheBeast 0
use your other tit!