Today, I was planning on having sex with my girlfriend for the first time, so I asked my roomate to stay out of our apartment. About half-way through, my roomate blared "The Eye of the Tiger" from the other side of the door. My girlfriend laughed so hard that we couldn't finish. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after months of patiently waiting, I finally got my roommates out of the house for the night so I could have sex with my boyfriend for the first time without being interrupted. He couldn't get it up. FML
Today, I listened to my roommate having sex from 3 a.m. until 6 a.m. When I looked over at my girlfriend, who must have thought I was sleeping, I noticed she was masturbating. FML
Today, I decided to watch some porn before bed. The lights were off and my roommate was already asleep behind me. I put on my noise-canceling headphones and turned up the volume all the way. After a few strokes my roommate got up and plugged in the headphones for me. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were going to have sex. To set the mood, she suggested we watch a porno she once starred in. FML
Today, I was naked on top of my boyfriend looking lovingly into his eyes. He then started to use my boobs as punching bags while singing "Eye of the Tiger". FML
Today, I was all set to lose my virginity to my girlfriend. I was ecstatic, until she threatened to "beat the fuck" out of me if I didn't make it good for her. The actual sex was 30 seconds of me being given death glares, causing me to lose my boner, and have to leave in shame. FML
Today, I wanted to sleep in after a rough week, only to be woken up by my roommate's sex screams and the pounding of her bed against the wall. Earplugs did not help. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting it on, and listening to loud music when she suddenly looked worried and asked if I heard something. I said no and continued. Moments later, three firemen opened the bedroom door and told us to get dressed and go outside because the building was on fire. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having it off in his den, I screamed at the height of my climax, and from the family room came the roaring laughter of my boyfriend's brothers. FML
Today, my roommate walked in on me going down on my girlfriend in our shared living area. She was embarrassed for about 20 seconds, then pushed my head back down and told me to keep going until he comes back. FML
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Top comments
_DudeGuy_ 16
Your roommates has a badass sense of humor.
RedPillSucks 33
You weren't able to "rise" up?
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Comments (103)
_DudeGuy_ 16
Your roommates has a badass sense of humor.
riyankah 7
Lmfao
SMHsohard 22
So does his girlfriend. OP might have a ways to go to catch up to them.
TrueTriage 16
He was just a man with his will to survive without something bad happening
ironichalibut 24
I would've went with "The Final Countdown" to each their own though!
violette_tiger 7
Dude!!
CrissyyyS2 22
He could of shouted out "Finish Her!" with a Mortal Kombat voice :)
DyslexicPanda 12
C'mon OP, you have to admit that's pretty funny. Just get him back with any of the previously suggested tactics
gingher_fml 9
Or "let's talk about sex".
HKCgrimmjow 15
Heh Mississippi queen, awwwhh yeaaah
ImyWitch 5
Get em Tiger!
gotaplanstan 28
Spiderman's secret secret identity is Rocky? Who knew.
MysticMonkey 9
I would too. Is a bit distracting no?
TheDrifter 24
Possibly distracting, but OP could have just continued to the rhythm of the song.
Allennis44 16
That would be so hard. The beat of the song is so erratic. BOMP...BOMP BOMP BOMP...BOMP BOMP BOOOOOOOMP
TheDrifter 24
Just shake for the long notes and the rest is easy. Frustrating, but an easy rhythm to remember.
MysticMonkey 9
I hadn't thought of that! Genius.
andrekrivo 20
oooh myyyy this sucks sooo muuch... so what if you didn't get to finish? it's not like that was your last time or anything...
lilhellian 27
You never know. Freaky shit does happen.
HopelesslyCiara5 19
I have to give his roommate credit, quite funny!!! Although, if I were his girlfriend.. Probably be pretty upset that it was interrupted and ruined.
Gmoney12 18
Just a little motivation music !
flashback.miss 28
More like Eye of the Snake... but seriously, troll roommate strikes!
jojimugo 20
Your picture is disturbing ..
RedPillSucks 33
You weren't able to "rise" up?
young_weezy_fml 3
are you sure she wasn't laugjing at your manhood?
JACKxRAWR 22
Are you sure you spelt "laughing" right? ;)
Megan639 16
Are you sure you spelled "spelled" right?
Cinn_fml 23
Yes, yes he is.
MisterEx 28
47) Are you sure about your geographical/regional knowledge? Because according to a recent study, there is actually another place on planet earth than where people have actually invented the language you are currently spewing? Excuse my grammatical mistakes and also, please accept my apology as what I stated above was phrased in an unneeded mean Internet tone.
ddinspire6 10
Your roommate is someone I'd like to hang out with
brackaman 18
Yea honestly, this isn't even something you can get mad at. You just shake his hand and say “well played bitch.”
RoseBlack123 37
He's just trying to help ;)
DrownedMyFish 18
Just trying to set the mood.