Today, I was browsing some hardcore porn sites. My mum decided to barge into my room uninvited, so I quickly switched tabs. Unfortunately for me, all five other tabs were also parked on porn galleries. Now my computer and phone are confiscated, and I can only get online at the local library. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Bobs and vagene!!
Today, I was browsing porn in my room, when my dad barged in. I quickly switched to another tab, only to see it was parked on another porn page. I had another browser window open, so I switched to that. More porn. My dad said, "Riiiggghhhttt... You need help, son." FML
Today, I was having computer problems, so I let my friend have remote access to fix them. We were video-chatting on Skype at the time, and so he thought it'd be hilarious to load hardcore porn in my browser the moment he saw my mom enter the room from behind me. I'm now grounded. FML
MILF
Today, I was watching porn and found my mom on a webcam. When I told her that I saw her, she just took away my computer and told me to get off porn. FML
Scarred a generation
Today, my dad went snooping on my laptop, and saw that I'd recently looked up 2 Girls, 1 Cup. It was out of morbid curiosity, but he thinks I'm into "satanic porn", and confiscated every electronic device I own. Now I have to sneak to the library just to check my emails. FML
Awkward
Today, my mother came into my room and had a thirty minute long conversation with me. She kept looking very nervous and uncomfortable. Only after she left did I realize that a porn site was open on my computer screen. The entire time. FML
Saucy devil
Today, I was helping my Dad with an internet issue he was having. He gave me his tablet to check it out. I opened the browser, and there were 8 tabs open. All of them were PornHub. FML
Red Right Hand
Today, I came home to find my dad in my room, watching porn on my computer. When I asked him what he was doing, he closed the computer, stood up, stared at me awkwardly and then said, "You should really avoid those sites" and left my room. FML
Getting some action
Today, I took a trip to the library's public computer section to get some important work done. After a bit of work, I went to stretch only to see that the man next to me was watching some adult films on his computer and discreetly touching himself. I still had 58 minutes of computer time left. FML
Today, my brother walked in on me jerking off. I managed to close the porn tab, at least, only to end up on my mom's Facebook profile. FML
Now watching
Today, I came home, turned on my laptop, and turned the TV on mute so I could check my email. My mom came home an hour later, took a look at me on the couch, then the TV, and asked what on earth I was watching. I looked up from my laptop and realized it was porn. FML
Top comments
morgann4826 0
time to stop watching so much ****
daniel1_1 13
I pity the fool.
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Comments (410)
robo_thunder 13
Shit man, thats a whole lot of ****.
WoshJinchell93 11
Oh wow, would tear.
KingCeltic77 18
Any good sites
Senseless_487 29
He never said he did it all the time. Maybe he just thought he had some privacy, and had that many tabs open for browsing purposes. I just don't understand why he didn't have a "dummy" tab open for exactly this occurrence.
tbktbk 0
Dude
lukemack 4
It's just **** no big deal I'm in a relationship for 2 year and live to together and I still look at **** every now and then
kei1108 13
Seriously?! Why?! Is your girlfriend not enough for you??
Shrike 24
Wow, you have no idea what it is to have a healthy sex life, Kei. You sound just like a bitter, self shaming nobody who has to go try to bring other people down to your level just to feel good about yourself. Instead of posting your religiously motivated trolling on an immoral worldly site like FML, just go get a life instead.
Dracoboxer357 36
Kei, let's just say for the sake of argument that his girlfriend isn't as interested as 113 is in sex....is that such a crime? If he loves her, doesn't stray, treats her right, and satisfies his occasional curiosity in this manner, who cares? I'm okay with you having your own opinions, and living your life the way you want, but excuse my poor example here, your opinion is like a penis: I'm fine if you really need to talk about it, just don't try to cram it down my throat. :p Ease up a bit on your delivery, it'll be better received by people in general.
GoldenGrizzly 7
I'm have a very healthy sex life with my boyfriend. The difference is men are very visual creatures. Girls can go days, even weeks without being bothered to think about sex. Our ****** can hybernate like no one's business. But with men, they have a very in your face, uncomfortable sex drive at times. There are times when my boyfriend needs to relieve the dragon and I am not there. Do I want him to cheat? No. Do I want him to hit on other women? No. But watching a woman who is paid to be sexy on the internet is much difference then him going to a strip bar and hitting on Sandy Von ****. **** allows my boyfriend to explore his preferences and improve his technique while also bringing new and fun games in to the bedroom. If girls can watch romantic, emotional, soft core **** movies (also known as anything in the Romantic Comedy genre) where cute guys do amazing things for amazing people that ends with amazing sex and walks on the beach then men can watch ****. It is the same thing, just produced in two different ways to please two different types of people. Either way, grow up. My boyfriend knows not to pay for any shit, or download anything that will give us a virus. Other than that, he can wank as he wills.
monny 2
Hmm... I wish my ****** could "hybernate like no one's business" for weeks. I just wanted to add that it's not a good idea to generalize sexual preferences by gender; there are women who have very high sex drives and cannot go days without thinking about sex.
monny 2
& men who are just the opposite.
perdix 31
I'll sure the other library patrons will be thrilled to share the computer resources with a compulsive wanker. "Yuck, that's NOT library paste. . ."
dominic1221 6
Perdix makes sarcastic jokes, that's why he gets thumbs up. You make massive assumptions and tell people how to live their lives like a bigot and a troll, that's why you get thumbs down. Nobody likes a preacher except the converted.
Shrike 24
Ooh, aren't you sassy. You cared enough to comment, and comment, and comment, and comment... But I forgot obvious fundies like you think you can lecture on and on but nobody else is allowed to have an opinion.
prettyinpink03 11
The sex you have must be terrible. Totally desensitizing yourself like that does not do you any good... Yep.
wallandpiece 16
YDI for watching **** in the first place.
videokid2000 10
I would have said the same thing, if you hadn't beaten me to it.
TColby 12
Let this be a lesson to not get caught watching **** by people that actually care if you watch ****.
kei1108 13
If you are going to do something like that, at least watch it on YouTube. Then there isn't any sort of profit to the **** industry. Which is messed up and ruining lives.
kei1108 13
By ruining lives, I not only mean the lives of the **** stars, but the people viewing. People get addicted when they are teenagers and it just goes down hill from. There. They just keep chasing that little moment of pleasure until it pulls them deeper and deeper down. Try your best to ween yourself off of it. If not, maybe just once a week.. Note: also consider waiting until you are living alone. Your mom pays for really everything you have. The least you can do is respect her rules.
dominic1221 6
*facepalm* Must be nice living under that rock.
t765234 10
1. Youtube does not have any good **** on it. 2. Pornstars actually make quite a bit of money if they under contract. 3. "Ruining lives" may be a little drastic. For some, maybe not, but for most people, it's not quite that bad.
Shadow_Phantom 26
@kei: I don't respect rules that are full of hot air and without reason.
Mguy 2
I think not masturbating for a non sexually active male of his age is pretty unreasonable. Men do have on average a much larger sex drive
GoldenGrizzly 7
God, people. Buy your son a subscription to playboy, or Hustler. Lock out all internet sites from the internet you pay for and have the computer in a public room. If you do not want him looking at **** that is fine but scarring your son and telling him jerking off is bad is just going to make him want to look up ****. Not that you said you would do that... but... The **** industry is people who enjoy having sex and are using that skill to make money. Nothing wrong with it, If people are overly sexed then that is their business. Some people are and some aren't. Don't watch it if you dont want to.