Today, I was browsing some hardcore porn sites. My mum decided to barge into my room uninvited, so I quickly switched tabs. Unfortunately for me, all five other tabs were also parked on porn galleries. Now my computer and phone are confiscated, and I can only get online at the local library. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was browsing porn in my room, when my dad barged in. I quickly switched to another tab, only to see it was parked on another porn page. I had another browser window open, so I switched to that. More porn. My dad said, "Riiiggghhhttt... You need help, son." FML
Today, I was having computer problems, so I let my friend have remote access to fix them. We were video-chatting on Skype at the time, and so he thought it'd be hilarious to load hardcore porn in my browser the moment he saw my mom enter the room from behind me. I'm now grounded. FML
Today, I was watching porn and found my mom on a webcam. When I told her that I saw her, she just took away my computer and told me to get off porn. FML
Today, my dad went snooping on my laptop, and saw that I'd recently looked up 2 Girls, 1 Cup. It was out of morbid curiosity, but he thinks I'm into "satanic porn", and confiscated every electronic device I own. Now I have to sneak to the library just to check my emails. FML
Today, my mother came into my room and had a thirty minute long conversation with me. She kept looking very nervous and uncomfortable. Only after she left did I realize that a porn site was open on my computer screen. The entire time. FML
Today, I was helping my Dad with an internet issue he was having. He gave me his tablet to check it out. I opened the browser, and there were 8 tabs open. All of them were PornHub. FML
Today, I came home to find my dad in my room, watching porn on my computer. When I asked him what he was doing, he closed the computer, stood up, stared at me awkwardly and then said, "You should really avoid those sites" and left my room. FML
Today, I took a trip to the library's public computer section to get some important work done. After a bit of work, I went to stretch only to see that the man next to me was watching some adult films on his computer and discreetly touching himself. I still had 58 minutes of computer time left. FML
Today, my brother walked in on me jerking off. I managed to close the porn tab, at least, only to end up on my mom's Facebook profile. FML
Today, I came home, turned on my laptop, and turned the TV on mute so I could check my email. My mom came home an hour later, took a look at me on the couch, then the TV, and asked what on earth I was watching. I looked up from my laptop and realized it was porn. FML
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Top comments
morgann4826 0
time to stop watching so much ****
daniel1_1 13
I pity the fool.
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Comments (410)
EyeCeYu 7
I've heard locking a door works to keep people out of your room when you want.
CookieGirl4ever 13
Unless you don't have a lock...
EyeCeYu 7
Move something heavy infront of the door? I dont know. I can't be that hard to keep people out of your room. Good point though.
CookieGirl4ever 13
True, but I don't think I have anything big or heavy. :( Not that it really matters though cuz I don't need a lock or anything like this guy does. lol But that guy was a dumbass, you have one tab of something you don't want others to see, and one incase someone comes in that you can close your tab to. lol :p
Kayokku 1
Tell her that if she doesn't give you your computer back, you'll be forced to jerk it beside a bunch old ladies at the computers in the library. If she really loves you-- or knows some of those old ladies-- she won't want to have that on her conscience.
sweetzombie88 0
That's a terrible idea. Then she'd probably wanna take him to a therapist.
Mguy 2
That totally wasn't a joke
xLights_Out 3
I'm sorry but I cant stop laughing
Krirn 21
I'll be waiting for the next FML for when you get a lifetime ban from the library for doing the same thing.
jujubunni5 9
Your mother is over religious?
lyssgross 16
Put your **** back in your shirt dear.
perdix 31
Yes, the major religions agree that a single tab of hardcore **** is acceptable. Multiple tabs are pagan and heathen!
bri1201 0
Or maybe just normal. Most parents don't want to know their kids do the nasty with themselves lmao
T1A2Z3 35
Most parents don't want their kids exploring their own bodies in a healthy way instead of letting strangers do it for them? Huh. That's pretty weird...
lyssgross 16
Put your **** away. It's ugly and some old man Is probably masturbating to them.
janeyboo07 11
If you go out and get a girlfriend, you could have all the **** you want. Right in the comfort of your own pants.(:
xNephilim 19
I call bullshit. My boyfriend gets all the sex he could ever want and he still watches ****.
straightxedge74 0
You wouldn't know anything about that now would you?
darthdamian2 4
Maybe your doing it wrong....
chels1994 11
1) he would have to be out of his pants. 2) you're 15 :(
ElricMustang 23
Anytime it has to do with someone watching ****, it's a YDI.
Raivyn52 4
Alt+F4... That minimizes all your windows. That is all. *troll face*
Swiftly 0
What site do you use lol
Dracoboxer357 36
52- Why ask? You want to bond with OP over what turns him on? O.o Forgive me if I find that a tad odd, sir.
Mirorbo 27
I will never understand why **** is such a big "No-No". Especially if it's their personal computer and not the family one. Which would you rather have--your kid having several one-night stands to exhaust their sexual need, or your kid jacking off to pictures?
illmatic2 16
Well the OP did say "hardcore" **** which is a lot worse than the stuff you see in a playboy.
Mirorbo 27
It was just an example, darling. I see **** as a perfectly harmless tool for exhausting a quick sexual need.
illmatic2 16
Do you guys even know what hardcore pornography really is? Like I said above, it's nothing like what people see in a magazine or on normal **** websites. I don't understand how a sane person can try to justify even watching that kind of stuff.
glittercookies 12
There's nothing wrong with ****. There is nothing wrong with hardcore ****. Softcore is usually in movies. Hardcore just means they show all of what's going on. Hardcore doesn't always mean super rough and loud fetish ****. And even if it did, who the **** cares. There is nothing wrong with exploring ones sexual interests via Internet. It's a part of growing up. Better than stifling everything and having no idea who you are in your sexuality.
Dracoboxer357 36
I agree with 55, 184 and 212. 195- Different strokes for different folks, all depends on your tastes. I thought hardcore meant graphic penetration btw. And 75- OP never said he "pounds his post" all day, he just so happen to be viewing **** at that particular time. I like to look too, occasionally and in moderation, but I also have a life that doesn't revolve around getting my jollies 24/7. Not everyone who has seen **** is a social reject, friend. :)
illmatic2 16
What you both just described to me is my idea of what normal pornography is. What I've been taught (whether it's the actual definition or not) is that hardcore pornography is like torture and other horrible stuff like that.
CoffeeChickBlows 13
"waaahhh waaahhhh waaahhhh **** is dirty ewie cootiessss D':" I mean wtf?? I genuinely think this moron typo'd "fuckingreligiousfanatics.com" to "fmylife.com"
Raeser 7
You know that people turn on by stuff like that aswell? Just because you don't seem to enjoy a whip or two doesn't mean it should be illegal in the bedroom.
Azail 15
Mirobo it's good to see you back commenting again. I have always enjoyed reading your comments. ^_^