Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML

Early learner

Today, while babysitting a six year-old boy, he asked me if I could show him my "boobies." I said no, that wouldn't be very appropriate. Suddenly, he pulled down his undies and pointed at his package while exclaiming, "Look, my penis is on again!" It was pointing RIGHT at me. FML

You what now?

Today, I babysat a five year-old girl. She ran up to me, threw her arms around my waist and said, "YUMMY! I'm going to eat you!" with her face in my crotch. I said sarcastically under my breath, "Finally, some action!" I turned around to find her dad staring at me, having heard. He's my cousin. FML

Today, after ten minutes of squishing my boobs together for my boyfriend, trying to get him to stare, he glanced at them then blankly said "I've seen better tits on my mom, so baby just stop that" and smiled. FML

Today, I was woken up by my teenage son pulling down my shirt and taking pictures of my breasts. FML

Today, I was babysitting. The kid said he had to use the bathroom. When I told him to go ahead, he said he just did. He was on my lap. He wasn't wearing pants. FML

But he's only 5

Today, I was playing with my 5 year-old neighbor. I was changing and he saw me naked. Then he went home and his parents came over. Apparently, he told them that I have beautiful boobs. FML

Hello?

Today, I was trying on bras in a shop when a little kid stuck their head under my stall. I was completely topless and completely surprised when they asked if I was their mommy. I'm 16. FML

Today, my 4 year old son groped my breasts and said, "This is what daddy told me to do." FML

Not now, Sweetie

Today, while we had my husband's boss over, my 3-year-old son decided to burst into the living room naked and yell, "Mum, look! Penis!" and wiggle it around. FML