Anonymous
United Kingdom
Today, I had to moisturise my dog's testicles because they got sunburnt. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
julian1
Orlando, United States
Today, I decided to sunbathe in my backyard in an attempt to be healthy. The result? Insect bites over my body. Somehow, despite being fully clothed the entire time, my scrotum also received several bites. FML
miss tomato
United States
Today, I was really badly sunburnt, so I put on some after-sun. The only type we have has glitter in it, and now I look like a sparkling tomato. FML
Anonymous
It's a doggy dog world
Today, I was bathing my dog at a self-serve dog wash at a pet store. The person next to me decided to express his dog's anal glands, and the vile, greasy, fish-smelling liquid hit me on the side of my face. FML
anonymous
United States
Today, I was badly sunburnt even after making it a point to apply a lot of sunscreen. My coworkers thought it amusing to slap me every chance they get. FML
Username
United States
Today, after applying sunscreen to myself every two hours, I still got sunburned. Through my clothes. FML
Fern
Germany
Nom nom nom
Today, I used a new body wash that smells like vanilla cookies. My dog spent the entire day chasing me around and trying to lick my arms. FML
Talented73
Yonkers, United States
Alexa, play "Hot Hot Hot" by The Cure
Today, we're in the middle of a heatwave. When I woke up this morning, I noticed that my scrotum was stuck to the side of my leg from all the perspiration. I had to actually peel it off. FML
ashley anne
You what now?
Today, I was called a wimp for getting a sunburn. FML
Brittanyy_leigh
Australia
Life's a beach
Today, my boyfriend and I went to the beach. I though he was being really sweet by putting sunscreen on my back as I layed on my stomach. I got home later, and felt that my back was sore. Then I saw the giant penis on my back that been burnt in. FML
not as scarred as he should be
Cambridge, Canada
Today, I walked in on my mother using a razor to shave my dad's cream-covered testicles. FML
Top comments
antbait11 0
did he redrocket on you?
ArtIsResistance7 1
lol. It rubs the lotion on the skin... I bet your dog will never look at you the same.
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Comments (237)
mmmazingmary 0
hahaha grosss!!
kennylou 0
Eww, that's why I don't have a dog.
Radix 3
sell him to a Chinese restaurant instead!
abusyboy93 0
get over it
catalystics 2
make sure you rub the lotion in good
Melaniee_fml 0
that's really disgusting.
Jennifra 0
Neuter your dog.
cstrat 0
Did your dog tell you or are you in the habit of inspecting his balls?
quent10 0
wtf? lol wat was he doin layin on his back for hours
un_nomable 6
don't act like you didn't love it ;p
Oreosbff 0
Yea lotsa fun...hope there's no happy ending...
RiiOT09 9
1) how did you know they were sunburnt 2) how did your dog get sunburn there?
squirrels_FTW 3
17....win! :p
TiffanyBlews27 0
............. how did you find out?...... :/ and that's why you either don't get a dog, or you get a FEMALE dog. With pets comes responsibilities. Even if you don't like it.
Sharpie23 7
anyone who really loves their dog shouldn't have a problem and their life is definitely not f**ked.
joooeee 3
I guess sharpie loves his/ her dog... and it's balls?
rebbee 0
Just what i was wondering! OP, did you just take it upon yourself molest your dog or were you instructed to do so by a vet or other reliable persons?
authorkid 2
45 I've had two male dogs in the past thirteen years and none if them have ever gotten sunburned there. getting a female dog isn't gonna stop something from happening when it nver happens in the first place.
katplayer 4
YDI for not neutering.
swifft_fml 0
45-spider man reference ftw;) ahaha
selenagirl_fml 0
sounds like a Hand j0b to me...
buzz18 7
hawwwwtttt
okieraider71 4
I am proud of you. By getting a pet, you assumed the job of caring for it. Even if it is something "gross". And you are standing up to that promise of caring I suspect you will be an excellent parent.
StopTheFuckinCar_fml 0
YDI b/c you wanted to in the 1st place, nasty ass
LMFAOwned 9
So, were they hairy?
mellovesyuh 0
lmfaooo prob the most action uve gottenn all yearr ;p be gratefull
coolsteve 0
burnt hairy meatballs
fckinbowdown 0
Damn #1 you are gorgeous. I just thought I'd let you know how beautiful you are :)
skroal 7
YDI for having to moisturize your dog's testicles because they got sunburnt.
psuboy 0
^^does this kid actually think he's funny?
KiddNYC1O 22
103- idk but almost everyone has told him off and is annoyed by it, but he seems to have too much pride for a lame act
eggjuggler 0
Agree with 62. People, please neuter your dogs. Pet overpopulation is really sad. That being said, I have a white poodle, so I know how easily a pink-skinned dog can get burned... which is exactly why i keep sunblock SPRAY and aloe SPRAY around. Seriously, look into it. No need to be rubbing things when you can take care of it with a spray bottle. I'm all for doing what's best for your dog, but umm... this really edges into weird territory.
FunnyWeasel 7
good luck with his dragonballs
indddygirll11 0
TaylorTotsYumm 10
***********.
number0 8
YDI for not enjoying it
_TONGAN_ 5
you didn't HAVE to you chose to and probably enjoyed it...you could have taken him to the vet.
ZleveL 0
130 WINstiality :P btw it's ********** not be'A'stiality
toaster468 0
ooooh me next!
PottentialFML 0
100 is an emo ****** who thinks he is funny
jebby011 0
you would knowO.o
lucindo 0
I bet the dog loved it :P
comedychick 1
dont have too much fun..
hobogirl 0
neuter him and you won't have to worry about it or the chance of him getting a bitch pregnant.
Brittney_E 0
how the hell....?!
Hoogyme 0
kennylou lol catface
zach55 0
45 you mean get a bitch :)
mavericksurfer 0
you know you don't have to. it's a dog, they've got along pretty well for thousands of years without ball massages.
Rachalynia 0
81 If he was an excellent parent, the dog wouldn't have testicles.
CRlovers123 0
aw poor doggy
TheySparkleSpeci 3
I'm not sure what went on so I can't comment too much but surely you have some responsibility for this as it is your pet and surely you thought it was too hot for you dog?
FreshSalad 1
sounds fun!
twinny_sc 13
sounds fun for the dog.
lickmyjock 0
can you do mine next?
Crncj 0
the importance of subscreen
AsianCookie247 14
******* gross.
iglesia 11
How did he even notice his dogs sunburned balls?
antbait11 0
did he redrocket on you?
sammyprosnit 8
lmbo epic
DanceJennyDance 1
Redrocket! redrocket xD
EatZombies 10
Deadpool jokes 10/10- ign Would play again
jellybeans4833 7
u like it~ lol jk
abeastmuffin 1
lol soo truuu
wiggz1990 0
did we really need to know about this?? fyl and ydi at the same time:D
ArtIsResistance7 1
lol. It rubs the lotion on the skin... I bet your dog will never look at you the same.
lagamorphs 0
LOL !
mmmazingmary 0
:( haha that's why I only have girl dogs! it bad enough to have to rub your bf. let alone a dog
TobyFunke 3
"its bad enough you have to rub your bf"?! If you actually care about them, you should like pleasuring your bf, maybe you should try girls...
That_Guy_Jake_JR 0
or me.
twinny_sc 13
9, if you don't like doing it then why do it?
guiltypleasure12 0
she just wants to talk about herself doing sexual things for attention..... no offence, it's true haha.
LightningLadyy 0
I agree with #93, I was thinking that. But I mean it offensively.
remy3106 10
ur ******* hot
remy3106 10
I mean 56 ur really hot
remy3106 10
I defiantley don't but thanks ur saying I can get with twenty eight different guys
remy3106 10
o ok
Geiko_fml 0
Ohh shnap. He must have loved you for that one.
theFMLwhore5 0
lol xD