Today, I was at the bar and my friend and I were making fun of this guy wearing a Affliction muscle tee and bedazzled Ed Hardy hat. We were saying how he was the epitome of a douche bag and that he probably likes UFC. Turns out he's an MMA fighter and I now have a broken nose. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while at a local bar, my friends and I were approached by an overly intoxicated man who asked us each politely if we wanted to fight. Thinking it was a joke, I said yes. It wasn't a joke, I now have a broken nose and a black eye. FML
Today, I was out clubbing, when some bloke at the bar started trying to pick fights with everyone. Trying to defuse the situation with humour, I said, "I used to be a tough guy like you. Then I took an arrow in the knee." The next thing I know, I have a broken nose. FML
Today, I was at a bar with my friend, when I noticed a young lad at a table near to us. I thought it'd be funny to jeer and flick peanuts at him. I went to the restroom, only to come back to my friend face-down on the floor. Turns out the guy fucked him up instead, and now he won't talk to me. FML
Today, I decided to challenge the jerk jock at work to a fight, since he kept poking fun at me for being a weakling. Having started taking MMA classes, I was confident I'd make him eat his words. Just my luck, he's an MMA instructor and kicked my ass effortlessly. Not what I had planned. FML
Today, my boyfriend was telling me about accidentally punching his best friend in the face. As he was acting it out he ended up punching me and giving me a bloody nose. FML
Today, I was at the gym when I saw one of my friends at the water fountain. I went over and gave him a man ass slap while he was drinking. It wasn't my friend. I now have a black eye. FML
Today, as I was taking the bus home, I sat down next to a man wearing an FML shirt. While snickering I said to him "You totally deserved it." I guess he thought that comment deserved a broken nose. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were asleep. Evidently, he was dreaming about being a UFC fighter, because, out of no where, he grabs the back of my head and punches me in the nose. I haven't been able to breathe right out of my nose all day. FML
Today, I saw a fight so I went over to try and break it up. Someone thought I wanted to join in, so he gave me an unexpected whap in the happy sacks, and I also got a bloody nose for my troubles. FML
Today, a few years after getting mugged inspired me to start hitting the gym and taking karate classes, I was mugged again, this time in front of my girlfriend who I actually met at the gym. I was knocked out with one punch. It was the same mugger with the same neck tattoo. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
CrackhouseDoug 0
YDI for being so judgemental of a person's appearance.
TheNeckbeard 0
Right above the comment box: "Speak your mind, but please try and be respectful." OP should have followed FML's advice.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (204)
ailati 0
I like watching UFC and all the other MMA stuff, but the types of people who actually walk around wearing Tapout/Affliction shirts/hats are pretty ******* stupid. Pretty much says "Hey, look at me, I'm trying to look like a tough ************."
karenbear 0
While I agree it is wrong to judge a book by its cover, sometimes it is called for...like in this case. Sucks that you got hit, though.
janeasutengirl 0
at least you were right about the douche bag part.
allmidnighteyes 11
Affliction? Ed Hardy? YAHHHHH BRAHHHHH. I bet he has a Tapout hoodie he runs in too. Bros are ******* stupid. Him punching you further enforces the douchebag stereotype
JokerXero 0
What did we learn today? 1) dont talk shit 2) dont be judgemental 3) Dont do A and or B because you might get your ass handed to you by a MMA fighter. 4) your a idiot.
hung_solo 0
Dude you're the douche bag. Affliction is sick and so is we hardy. You're just jealous cause you're stuck to wal mart fashion
Hienz 0
Whoa-whoa-whoa.... made fun him by saying "he probably likes UFC"? You deserve that broken nose.
arnie3713 0
I love how people call affliction or ed hardy clothes buyers douche bags. by saying that, its like saying whoever shops at holister is gay, and american eagle is a preppy rich ****** or hot topic is emo. who the **** cares what he wears. you talked shit. he heard you. you got your nose broken. simple as that. And to those who are correcting people. who the hell cares about their grammar. as long as you can read it don't correct them. some of us don't use the computer to post on here, because we have iPhones and can post that way. lay off. stop judging people for what they think and believe. sure he shouldn't have hit him, they could have talked it over, but he shouldnt be a stereotype either. I own an affliction shirt, but its my favorite fighters shirt. I support him, and it isn't even skin tight. I have a silverstar shirt also supporting my favorite fighter, again not skin tight. I wear clothes that are comfy and that i think look good on me. hell i have marvel tshirts from walmart/kmart/target because i love that shit. just stop judging people and you wont get your nose broke.
arnie3713 0
i didnt get a new iphone **** face. ive had it since november. there you go assuming shit.
soxwin04and05 0
I have never met someone who wears affliction shirts that wasn't a douche bag, nor have I met someone who shopped at Holister and wasn't gay, shopped at American Eagle and wasn't a preppy rich ******, or shopped at hot topic and wasn't emo. Not saying they aren't out there, but by this point, I'm gonna judge people.
arnie3713 0
I have an affliction shirt. pretty sure im not a douche bag. I wear it because it's a Georges St. Pierre shirt. I buy shirts at hot topic of my favorite bands. pretty sure im not emo either. clothes are clothes. just because someone shops somewhere doesnt mean they automatically fall into that category
arnie3713 0
the point of the statement, retard, is that you're bitching and complaining, and correcting people earlier in the FML, and for some people they might not be able to control it because of the iPhone. if you're typing and not paying attention to the spelling, it might auto-correct something that you thought you typed correctly, and you didn't. so just don't think someone is stupid because they can't type. there are other ways to post on here.
PaigeCPony 0
Wtf? Ok, where is it okay to shop then? Where do you shop? Do you design and sew your own clothes or what? The problem with saying "most of the people who shop at X or wear Y are douchebags" is that you haven't MET most of the people who shop there. Your bias is not, contrary to your beliefs, justified. You haven't met .001% of the people who buy Affliction or shop at American Eagle. And since you're biased, you automatically notice the people who conform to the stupid stereotype you subscribe to, thereby reaffirming your completely unsubstantiated opinion. Douchebags are people who say and think stupid shit (e.g. you), not people who wear a certain brand. The stupidity in this thread is mind blowing.
arnie3713 0
you arent talking to me are you?
mikcand 0
HAHA thats wut u dick heads get
KCMaster 0
I'm not sure how it works for MMA fighters, but for some martial arts isn't it illegal to fight outside a ring? Not sure if I worded it correctly, but this sounds sketchy.
drimpossible 0
No. The issue isn't whether you do martial arts or not. In most jurisdictions it is illegal to fight no matter what skill level you have (there is the concept of mutual combat, where you both want to fight which is not the same as unprovoked assault). If you get into a fight the court may take into account your level of skill in the same way that they might take into account somebody using a weapon. For example if you are a heavyweight boxer fighting an unarmed 160 lb guy and you use an uppercut to break his neck, they will look at that a lot more harshly than if you did the same thing to a 220lb guy with a knife One problem is that the court may not understand enough about unarmed combat to judge proportionality. For example if a guy came at you with a knife and you did karate, and you punched him in the larynx and he died, you might get asked why you didn't nerve pinch or judo flip him, in the same way people who know nothing about firearms suggest shooting an armed man in the leg or shooting the gun out of his hand. I blame the media
drimpossible 0
My point. People see stuff in the movies and they don't know what is practical or what you actually learn in classes (karate strikes vs judo throws). And once they get an idea into their fat head that you should be able to restrain without injury, its hard to get it out.