Today, I was at the bar. A man started to hit on me. He claims to have a fetish for pregnant women. I'm not pregnant. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a stranger had a go at me for smoking while pregnant. I'm a guy. FML
Today, I told my husband I was pregnant, then he fainted. FML
Today, I realized I'm pregnant by a man who won't even accept my Facebook friend request. FML
Today, I went to visit my boyfriend at work. That's where I met his pregnant girlfriend. FML
Today, a stranger at the grocery store rubbed my belly and asked me when I'm due. I'm not pregnant. FML
Today, while I was working in a bar, a very fat drunk guy kept flirting with me. He assumed I liked him because I kept blushing. I didn’t. It’s just been so long since anyone flirted with me that I apparently now cannot control my reactions if a man talks to me. FML
Today, I received a phone call from the number of a "single" guy I met online. It was his wife, who is three months pregnant. She threatened to kick my ass. FML
Today, I was at a bar. A fat guy looks at me for a while and sits down next to me. He turns and I expect that he'll hit on me. He then buttons down his shirt, presses his man boobs together and say to his friends “Look, I’ve got bigger tits than than the girl next to me!" His friends agreed. FML
Today, at work, someone heard me throw up. I then got called aside and told being hungover at work is unacceptable. I don't drink. I'm pregnant. FML
Today, I was at a bar, when a heavily drunk guy came up to me and slurred "Fuucckkk lady, your face... not even with beer goggles!" FML
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Top comments
noobsatin 19
maybe he was just sharing. drunk people do that. a lot.
daisylokes 16
awww don't feel bad, :( he sounds creepy anyway, dont let anybody make you feel bad, I had a baby 9 months ago and still get asked how many months I am, lol
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Comments (56)
bobslawnservice 16
So did you go back to his place?
angiespook 18
Something tells me that a bar is the wrong place to find a pregnant woman.
whiskeygirl321 4
Finally some one put that together!
EpicJames24 18
you'd think he'd know that pregnant people can't drink.
TheDrifter 24
Can't and shouldn't are two very different things. Plenty of low class pregnancies at my local bars. Looking for the baby's daddy or his replacement.
Goblin182 27
You should have milked it for a free meal and some drinks at least.
oscillation26 3
don't know if you could have milked it for drinks....
ghostsoul21 12
He has a flaw in his logic though.. Why would a pregnant woman go to a bar? Unless you're there with friends and just talking only, he shouldn'tve thought that
Mauskau 36
Something tells me that a bar would not be a great place for a pregnant woman to hang out, so if this guy was expecting to meet single pregnant women at a bar then... well I've got nothing.
bobslawnservice 16
Yeah, but I'm guessing that he has quite a high success rate with the kind of pregnant women who drink in bars.
Aero_x 21
Did you happen to smack the shit out of him? I would have and I'm pregnant.
Trish_la_la 2
Easy way to turn him off... Tell him you are not pregnant and never want to be. He will move on. And don't feel bad- he was drunk- what we see with our beer goggles on is fantasy not reality.
ea247 20
What a moron why would someone pregnant even be drinking at a bar
nemesandr26 11
yet