Today, I was at a bar, when a heavily drunk guy came up to me and slurred "Fuucckkk lady, your face... not even with beer goggles!" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a drunk dude walked up to me and said, "You're ugly as fuck." His sober friend quickly apologized and explained that he was wasted, before looking me up and down and adding, "Well, not completely, I guess." FML
Today, a completely drunk girl walked across the bar and punched me in the face because I was wearing the same dress as her, and her boyfriend had said it looked better on me. While I was screaming at her for being a stupid bitch, she puked all over me, wiped her mouth, and laughed before she passed out. FML
Today, during a drunken night out, a really trashed friend said to me, "Jeez, even when I’m drunk, you're really ugly." FML
Today, I was at a bar with my girlfriend, and I noticed an obnoxious guy from college I used to hang out with. I tried to avoid eye contact, but all of a sudden he shouted, "There's the guy who puked his margarita back into the glass!" Everyone stared. Yup, that was me, just last week. FML
Today, while at a local bar, my friends and I were approached by an overly intoxicated man who asked us each politely if we wanted to fight. Thinking it was a joke, I said yes. It wasn't a joke, I now have a broken nose and a black eye. FML
Today, a drunken customer blindsided me after I told him I would not be giving him a free drink after I watched him put his own hair in it. FML
Today, I saw a drunk guy hitting on a girl sitting alone at the bar. She insisted that her boyfriend was there, but he didn't relent. So I went over and put my arm around her and asked "Who's this guy?" He walked away, but then I felt a tap on my shoulder. It was her boyfriend. He broke my arm. FML
Today, a guy drunkenly professed his love for me. He did this after walking in on me peeing, which he decided was the time to tell me such a thing. FML
Today, I got together with a small gathering of friends in a bar. I go up to the bar to order something, but with all the music and noise, the barman can't hear what I'm trying to say, so he leans forward, cocking his ear towards me. For some reason, I thought he was being friendly so I kissed him as if we were saying hello to each other. FML
Today, I was at a bar with a friend. A guy came up to me, took my drink and drank it. I laughed and jokingly said "now, you have to buy me a drink." He said "I would rather buy your friend a drink." FML
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Top comments
JustinKirby 20
Don't you just adore drunk people?
awilso13 8
Wow, that's definitely a blow to the ego... I would've cried lol.
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Comments (109)
FrenchMixer 9
Hahaaaaa x)
Blackhawk706 23
What the **** kinda face is this? x)
FrenchMixer 9
J'ai le droit de repondre "hahaha" vous êtes pas obliges de me defoncer connard compris?
ThatOneGuy719 16
This is a very sad 1st comment.. At least try and be creative with it or put something that relates to the FML. And don't worry OP, drunk people can be complete assholes.
FrenchMixer 9
I do what I want to do no?
ComoEsJuan 24
Just go. Go.
mattjamt 16
And the judgemental FML vultures swoop in again....
RedPillSucks 33
You each did what you wanted to do. #1 put in a lame first comment #9 commented on it. FML works
Lebeaugars95 20
*silent tear down OP's face*
ballerboy20 8
today, I finally got to comment first on an fml post and all I could think of was hahaaaa x) Fml
SirMichael 13
#6 An angry cyclops I believe.
jazzy_123 20
6, Hey it's a cute Smiley!! Lol x)
pita1331 7
#9 I understand what you're saying about drunk people being assholes but OP did state that the drunk guy said not even with beer goggles so maybe OP just really is an ugly female, not everyone looks good and that's the sad truth but as women we're made to think that we have to all look beautiful...I've seen some really ugly men as well....sorry OP that was harsh of the drunk guy
nickyLA 6
Haha, I wouldn't laugh at others honey. Joke's on you. Your face is more than worthy of that comment!
Respect101 17
This is true, but at the same time, harsh. Ouch.
Ololo_fml 16
DNA, DNA!
mccrightp 29
Ok, I want to tell you to go to hell.
adamo_erebus 26
As soon as I read the FML, I knew it was an Australian one. Gotta love Aussies
whys0serious 12
About #6: Hate to play the captain here, but I believe it's neither a cyclops nor a smilie, if you know what I mean. ;)
llamaslikesoda 21
#11 go home you're drunk
gypgyp55 7
wow that must suck! but dont worry OP he was drunk and probably eve a sober slob himself.
the_truth_lives 9
Once upon a time there was there was an ugly barnacle...
BootheGhost 6
... He was so ugly, that everyone died. The end.
JustinKirby 20
Don't you just adore drunk people?
chickenfeet223 11
Yep there just amazing -_-
countingstairs 16
Nobody thumbs up this comment. It's at 69, keep it that way.
incoherentrmblr 22
jerryj 27
Let's try it differently and give you -69 :)
9echo 17
I'm pretty sure all the people who are obsessed with getting comments to 69 up- or down-votes recently hit puberty.
PageantGirlXOXO 16
I hate drunks like that. I like the fun ones. He sounds like an ass in general...
PageantGirlXOXO 16
When I say he must be an ass in general I mean he must naturally be kind of a douche...I have girlfriends that are just the sweetest girls when they are shit faced and I can be horribly drunk and all my 'bitchyness' comes out. It was already there...but being wasted makes it visible
ohcheriecherie 20
I think getting drunk might bring out the aspects of your personality that you hide. like the people who have a lot of anger they repress drink and get violent, and the people who try to act tough drink and then are nice to people they don't like.
teyyoshi 19
when i got drunk ，I blurted out nonsense constantly …on the other hand ，I got the guts to confess to my girl when wasted
aruam365 24
#4 I'm sure you're a pretty girl underneath all of that, but your makeup is not working for you... at all.
Crossing 17
I find drunks annoying.
cryssycakesx3 23
d'em brows though...
Flowtastic 16
@49 hers or your sharpied ones?
HanBroman 20
......why are your lips whiter than your face?
awilso13 8
Wow, that's definitely a blow to the ego... I would've cried lol.
greeneyebeauty9 28
Way to make OP feel better, lol.
EdenCrystal 21
Not necessarily. OP, I would say your life sucks, but you don't need some guy's approval on how you look. Your purpose is not to serve as society's definition of eye candy. Hang in there
angelitared 27
Don't mind drunk *****. They're drunk!!!
niamhyo 13
I think you missed the point...
JMichael 26
Ouch. That would hurt the ego
michaeljc7 3
Maybe he said that because he was drunk? Idk op, sorry!
SpicyDuck 22
You don't say..
matthew5555555 11
OP don't worry about him he's just an ass.
lil_miss_simran 15
So rude. Stupid drunk