Anonymous
Today, a stranger at the grocery store rubbed my belly and asked me when I'm due. I'm not pregnant. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
fmlifetime
United States
Delusional
Today, while shopping for some bananas at my local grocery store, an old woman came up to me and started rubbing my stomach. She simply asked when I was due. I am a 43 year-old man with a beer belly. FML
BobbyMalone
Canada
Today, my mother asked a woman at the clothing store we go to all the time when her baby was due. Turns out the woman isn't pregnant. FML
preggo
United States
Today, someone asked when my baby was due. I'm not pregnant, but I was so embarrassed to be mistaken for a pregnant lady that I rubbed my tummy and said "December." FML
Liar Liar
United States
Today, while shopping in the baby department at a local department store, a woman approached me asking when I was due. I told her that I was due in 4 months. I lied. I'm not pregnant. FML
Karen
Solon, United States
Belly bounce!
Today, a customer greeted me with, "So! When's the baby coming!?" I'm NOT pregnant. I just gain weight in my guts. FML
Anonymous
United States
Stolen valor
Today, at the grocery store, I saw a woman rubbing her belly lovingly and said, “Aw, congratulations!” She replied, “On what?” There was no baby. Just bread. FML
bunintheoven
Seligman, United States
Today, I went to my local Walmart to grab a few groceries, and while at the checkout line I grabbed two chocolate bars for a snack. The cashier gave me a look and mumbled under her breath, "Surprise, surprise." I'm pregnant, asshole. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, as I was just finishing my grocery shopping, a little girl and her mother walked past. Seeing the little girl staring at me, I waved. The girl then pointed to me and asked her mother "Mommy, is that man pregnant?" FML
fml
Haslemere, United Kingdom
Today, while shopping for clothes, I asked the assistant to recommend something for me. She took me to the maternity section. Thanks, but I'm not pregnant. FML
notpreggers
United States
Today, the creepy skin care guy at the mall with the heavy accent asked me if I was pregnant. When I said no he replied "Oh, too many donuts then?" FML
Top comments
raven_of_azarath 35
First of all, it’s rude to assume someone’s pregnant. Second of all, why do pregnant women suddenly lose autonomy of their bodies so that complete strangers can come up and touch them? That’s never ok, and I totally don’t get why that’s a thing.
kokomo777 17
Can I suggest you’re a douche and don’t know basic grammar? Rude shit, man.
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Comments (9)
raven_of_azarath 35
First of all, it’s rude to assume someone’s pregnant. Second of all, why do pregnant women suddenly lose autonomy of their bodies so that complete strangers can come up and touch them? That’s never ok, and I totally don’t get why that’s a thing.
Peaches1914 13
It is the affirmation of life, people want to feel, it makes them connect to humanity. And it is a most beautiful feeling, joyous. In fortunately the individual was not pregnant
jc1015 25
don't care how joyous you wanna feel...don't touch people (especially strangers) without their permission. seriously you should've learned the keep your hands to yourself thing in preschool
RichardPencil 32
There's still belly-touching among strangers? I thought that went the way of hitch-hiking.
Mungolikecandy 19
Why would someone think it is acceptable to touch a random stranger?
Taurus_ChicKa 37
I despise when people do that. It's bad enough that someone asks when you're due if they don't know for a fact you're pregnant - this person actually TOUCHED you without your consent? Pretty sure that's some sort of crime you could report...