Today, I was at the bar. A man started to hit on me. He claims to have a fetish for pregnant women. I'm not pregnant. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, a stranger had a go at me for smoking while pregnant. I'm a guy. FML
Today, I told my husband I was pregnant, then he fainted. FML
Today, I realized I'm pregnant by a man who won't even accept my Facebook friend request. FML
Today, I went to visit my boyfriend at work. That's where I met his pregnant girlfriend. FML
Today, a stranger at the grocery store rubbed my belly and asked me when I'm due. I'm not pregnant. FML
Today, while I was working in a bar, a very fat drunk guy kept flirting with me. He assumed I liked him because I kept blushing. I didn’t. It’s just been so long since anyone flirted with me that I apparently now cannot control my reactions if a man talks to me. FML
Today, I received a phone call from the number of a "single" guy I met online. It was his wife, who is three months pregnant. She threatened to kick my ass. FML
Today, I was at a bar. A fat guy looks at me for a while and sits down next to me. He turns and I expect that he'll hit on me. He then buttons down his shirt, presses his man boobs together and say to his friends “Look, I’ve got bigger tits than than the girl next to me!" His friends agreed. FML
Today, at work, someone heard me throw up. I then got called aside and told being hungover at work is unacceptable. I don't drink. I'm pregnant. FML
Today, I was at a bar, when a heavily drunk guy came up to me and slurred "Fuucckkk lady, your face... not even with beer goggles!" FML
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Top comments
noobsatin 19
maybe he was just sharing. drunk people do that. a lot.
daisylokes 16
awww don't feel bad, :( he sounds creepy anyway, dont let anybody make you feel bad, I had a baby 9 months ago and still get asked how many months I am, lol
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Comments (56)
bluestrawberry17 17
Sorry OP he must be drunk...
AGB10 19
Maybe you are the exception to his fetish ;)
liuliuliu 10
Ten months later,you want a son or a daughter?
zaise_chsa 19
I would say go on a diet, but I'm not someone who can talk.
LifeMD 14
He never implied you were pregnant.
BoltTheSuperdog 22
I can see your point, and I didn't think about that before. Though it was actually sort of implied.
BoltTheSuperdog 22
Well, then he obviously must have been drunk out of his mind to not notice you weren't pregnant, OP.
MrsHaxxo 22
Maybe he just wants to get you pregnant..
ArmyDoc 11
Sounds like a drunk jackass. Dad??
f1r3flyy 1
Maybe this was a poor attempt at a chat up line where you turn around and say you're not pregnant then his response would be "do you wanna be?" Honestly there are worse out there than that :)
cakefete2 31
Ooh bad pick up lines, let's see... How do you like your eggs in the morning? Or how much does a polar bear weight, you think it's enough to break the ice?
DaLiquer 20
Just go with it and get you some, beats sitting at a computer lamenting to a bunch of insensitive pricks on FML.