Today, I was at a party, and someone called the cops on us. I dove into a bush that turned out to have thorns. I got multiple cuts and a sprained wrist, and got arrested anyway. Its kind of hard to hide from the police when you're screaming in agony. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, as I was running from the cops I jumped behind a bush to hide. Turns out it was a massive thorn bush. I later had the most painful shower I have ever experienced. FML
Today, I went to a party. Although I wasn't drinking, I was still afraid the cops would bust me. Halfway through the party, the cops showed up. I tried to hop a fence, ripping my pants and cutting my leg in the meantime. It wasn't until was on the ground that I found out there was a gate. FML
Today, I went to a party and the cops came to bust the party. I jumped out the window of a second story house in order to avoid getting arrested. I broke my leg in three places and got a concussion. The cops let everyone go with a warning. FML
Today, someone was getting beat up by 6 guys. When I tried to help, they had a swing at me as well. The cops came when I was enthusiastically defending myself. They got away, I got arrested. FML
Today, I was drunk and broke my leg. I called 911, only for the cops to turn up and make me try to walk, with them saying that I was faking my injury. They arrested me for being drunk in public and hours later I finally got to an ER. I had to have surgery on my leg. FML
Today, I got questioned by the police. Last night I was at a party when a bully of a kid who happened to be an aspiring MMA coach and local fighter was picking on me, stole my alcohol and threw me out of the party. I heard he got stabbed by someone else he was picking on after I left. The police insist it was me. FML
Today, I was hiking, and four miles away from my car and civilization, I tripped over a rock into a cactus. I used duct tape, which ripped all the hair off my arms and legs but ignored the spikes. FML
Today, I found myself locked out of my house. I had to squeeze myself through a tiny window around the back. While hanging upside down, my hood fell over my head. My dog ran through to investigate the noise and ravaged me thinking I was a burglar. I then fell and broke my wrist. FML
Today, I heard someone try to get into my back garden. I ran to the front door, opened it, and shouted at whoever it was. I then saw a police officer appear, following the person who'd jumped my fence. I then realised I wasn't wearing any trousers. I'd shouted at the police half naked. FML
Today, I'm recovering from being pepper-sprayed, beat with a baton and Tased, and arrested for assault. I'm a bouncer and was trying to remove a drunk asshole from the bar when the police showed up. FML
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Top comments
UnicornWine 22
Easiest game of hide and seek for them. Sorry for the rough night.
kitkatmeOw 8
Bet that party was a bushel of fun.
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Comments (119)
people_annoy_me 23
Well that was smart...
StupidMonkey497 16
I think this is where "think fast" comes in pretty handy...
Kamon97 23
Honestly I thought this fml would have way more YDI's
1dvs_bstd 41
If they take you to prison, don't drop the soap.
darwinism 30
The smirk on your face makes me think that you would like OP to drop the soap.
1dvs_bstd 41
#15 ha-ha-ha ho ho haha haaa! and i thought my jokes are bad..
shay_serendipity 29
Well, you thought right. #15 has some votes for his joke, while you, sir, are beginning to be downvoted into oblivion.
vairyhagina 11
Commenting anything on FML that isn't full of puns, really funny, a different opinion or correctly spelt gets you downvoted into oblivion
Godsofdracos 15
Pretty sure he's getting down voted into oblivion because he's joking about dropping the soap, not blowing up a city or a ferry. Stick to your usual material Joker, it just works for you :)
UnicornWine 22
Easiest game of hide and seek for them. Sorry for the rough night.
pjsr 33
You always make it worse when you run - it might've been a warning if you'd stayed put
kitkatmeOw 8
Bet that party was a bushel of fun.
people_annoy_me 23
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Poor you tho.
BoltTheSuperdog 22
-ugh. As in *though*. Is it really that hard to type three more letters?
Garnetshaddow 30
Seriously... What is so bad about proper English?
ThatHorse 15
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
4 more letters, not 3
False_Stupidity 42
Lets see.. #5 is missing the U, G and H.. looks like three letters to me.
people_annoy_me 23
Nope, I'm pretty sure it's three.
JBChristian 47
And I'm pretty sure #52 beat you to saying this about 7 hours prior.
people_annoy_me 23
Sorry my cousin sent this not me - he doesn't know how to spell and he was using my ipad...
PotatoPal 11
Sure he was... we've all used that trick.
asnakelovinbabe 16
Everyone who regrets a comment seems to conveniently have an illiterate cousin that is always borrowing electronic devices and using their relative's accounts instead of their own. Also, how did you know to come back here and check replies to your cousin's comments? Yeah. Your cousin. Right.....
Rinsue 5
the superiority complex you grammar nazis have is unbelievable. bad grammar is not the end of the world, get over yourselves.
people_annoy_me 23
Well I'm sorry I'm kind enough to let my cousin use my phone.
Liiiiiiiiike 15
TURN DOWN FOR WHAT!!!!!!??????
RollingCakes 21
Thumbs down for what^
Blake77_fml 19
The cops
STEALTHHUNTER88 13
Project X gone wrong, eh?
ForFudgeSake 6
'Bad OP, bad OP, this is what he did when they came for thee.'
JBChristian 47
For fudge sake my ears are bleeding.
cathrope 10
Hope the the Judge doesn't have a thorn in his side when you face him.
Beansforbill 14
How does this get less ydi than the fml above this...
IWeigh2Tons 12
Because it's apparantly worse to fart in public than to go to a party where there is likely underage drinking or drugs.
EdenCrystal 21
And the pregnant woman who cried got a ton of YDIs
nightbirdblue 27
New FMLers must be Yolo Believers.